


Daddy Issues - Dean/John & You - 18+

by negans_lucille



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bad Parent John Winchester, Cheating, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, Dean Winchester Being an Asshole, Dubious Consent, F/M, Fluff, Hurt Dean Winchester, Inappropriate affair, John Winchester Being an Asshole, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Lingerie, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Protective Dean Winchester, Sex, Smut, Supernatural Elements, Swearing, affair, age gap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2019-11-16 08:08:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 56,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18090614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/negans_lucille/pseuds/negans_lucille
Summary: Your relationship with Dean Winchester is going perfectly until a ghost from both your pasts shows up and threatens everything.





	1. Just Dean

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy this new fiction :) Follow me on tumblr = negans-lucille-tblr :D x

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Dean Winchester comes to your bar to drink, he wants more than whiskey.

“Oh please, I usually date guys old enough to be your Dad.” You scoffed at the hopeful green eyed brunette sat the other side of your bar. You refilled his whiskey glass and laughed.   
“You mean  _our_  dads right? You’re only my age, if not younger.” He commented.   
“What can I say?” You chuckled softly, wiping the bar top around him, “I have Daddy issues,” you shrugged at him but couldn’t help the smirk dance along your lips. You were used to guys hitting on you. It was a big part of the job as a barmaid. The type of hotel your bar was situated in meant your clientele was usually older buisness men, often in their fifties. Mostly married. But flirting was part of the job. Flirting meant big tips.   
  
But the guy sat opposite you, trying it on tonight was definitely not your usual customer. He wore a leather jacket with a plain t-shirt underneath and jeans. He definitely wasn’t a business man. At least not the type you normally saw. He reminded you fondly of another customer you had not too long ago. He too wore a leather jacket and had a charming aura about him. He was at least twice this guy’s age, more like your other customers, but he was definitely not a business man either. Just the thought of him made you smile. You had never taken the flirting past the bar before. But that man was different. He’d managed to keep your attention for a whole weekend. One you hadn’t stopped thinking about in the six months since.   
“Well, sweetheart, I’ll let you call me Daddy if that’s your thing,” his tongue came out to lick his bottom lip as a charming smile lit up his handsome face. You rolled your eyes at him but couldn’t stop yourself from laughing slightly.   
“And what do I call you if it’s not Daddy?” You pressed.

“Well then I guess it’s just Dean.” His eyes sparkled in the dim lighting. 

“Alright then,” you laughed. “So, just Dean, where are you from?” You asked. You leaned over the bar, resting on your arms. It was a quiet night. Fridays always were. The customers being predominantly business men meant weekends were always dead.   
“Lawrence Kansas, but I live around here now.” He told you.   
“Really? And you chose this bar to drink in, huh?” You mused. “It’s a big city.”  
“Well I pass here a lot and I see you most nights. I just thought I’d try my luck,” he smirked. He politely tapped the rim of his now empty glass and you refilled it. “One for you too, sweetheart.” He smiled.   
“Oh no, I don’t drink on the job but thanks anyway.” You told him politely, “also I’m sorry to disappoint you, but even if you were my type, I don’t mix business with pleasure.” You told him, placing the bottle of jack back on the bar.

 "Oh really, a guy has never managed to woo you out from behind that bar?“ He looked amused.  _Yes_

"No,” you lied, that weekend coming back to you again as you chew your bottom lip slightly. You couldn’t deny there was something about this guy. He was charming and definitely handsome. You hadn’t lied when you said you dated guys twice your age. They’d always just appealed to you more. More experienced and mature. The very few guys your age you’d dated in highschool were immature assholes. But Dean did appeal to you in a way no man your age ever had before. 

  
*

  
“Nice place,” you breathed out heavily, his lips attached to your neck as his body pinned you against his front door. His apartment was bigger than you expected. An open plan kitchen diner that flowed nicely out into a living area, a room coming off it you figured was the bedroom. 

“Thanks,” Dean replied against your skin. You returned your focus back to him and pushed his leather jacket off his shoulders. Dean’s large hand running down your body, behind your thigh as he lifted your leg to wrap around his waist. You happily obliged and groaned as you felt his hand now move to squeeze your ass. His mouth was now biting at your skin, down your neck, over your collarbone, down to your chest. You fumbled to undo your work shirt quickly, revealing your black lace bra. Your breasts filled it perfectly, something you noticed Dean appreciate with a low growl. He lifted your second leg to wrap around his waist as he carried you over to the couch, laying you down and leaning over you as he kissed over your breasts and down your stomach. Tilting your head back, your body automatically lifting off the black leather couch, you groaned. Dean made quick work pulling his t-shirt over his head and throwing it down to the floor.  _Holy shit that body._ You felt between your legs heat up as you reached out to trace the contours of his muscles. His skin is was soft and tanned. God, you’d definitely not made the wrong decision. Maybe you had been missing out not dating men your own age, but something told you this guy was different anyway. He unbuttoned your jeans quickly and tugged them down your legs, taking your panties with them, quickly moving on to his own jeans. His erection bounced free and you felt your mouth water when you saw it. God it was beautiful. But you barely had time to appreciate it. It was all so quick and heated, clearly no time for foreplay. Usually that would bother you, but on this occasion, you didn’t mind one bit. You just wanted him, all of him, as quickly as possible. Your pussy got wetter and you instinctively opened your legs wider to let him in as he climbed back down over you. His mouth at your ear as he spoke, “are you ready?” You could just about nod as he took your lobe between his teeth and you felt his thick head press against your opening. He thrust into you hard as you screamed out in pleasure, your fingernails digging in to his back. He groaned loudly in your ear, his teeth now biting down on the delicate skin under your jawline. “Fuck, that pussy feels good.” He gasped, his thrusts only getting faster and harder, skin on skin as you created a friction between you, the heat causing a sweat to glisten over your bodies. He filled you beautifully, your legs opening wider to let him in further, his pelvic bone grinding down perfectly on your clit. It had only been this good with one other person before, but for the first time in six months, you weren’t going to think about him. 

“Oh god, Dean, I think I’m going to…” Your words caught in your throat.

“That’s it, sweetheart, I want you to cum for me,” he encouraged.

“Don’t stop,” you gasped, your hands squeezing his impressive biceps as you felt your orgasm building more and more. Dean kept his actions exactly as they were until your climax hit, causing your entire body to tense as you screamed his name, coming undone beneath him, riding your high for as long as possible, chasing it as it faded inside you. 

“God, you’re so fucking hot, Beth, so fucking perfect.” Dean praised, building up his rhythm again as you felt his cock twitch inside you, knowing he was about to reach his own climax. You didn’t want this to end, but God was it hot to see him reach his peak. His green eyes darkened and his handsome face twisted as he filled you, panting heavily as he came down from his own high, his body crashing down onto yours. “Fuck that was good,” he smiled at you. 

“You’re not kidding,” you agreed. 

“So a guy your age, huh? Not so bad?” He teased. You smirked at him as you both shuffled so he was laying behind you, your bodies still very much pressed together. 

“Not so bad at all.” 


	2. Satisfied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mysterious older man manages to woo you from behind your bar and to his room. And he's not letting you leave until you're satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr! Negans-lucille-tblr x

_Six months ago_

 

You poured another measure of whiskey into the glass.  "You know, you're not my usual customer," you commented. His hazel eyes sparkled at you for a moment. 

"Well, sweetheart I'm not your usual anything," he chuckled, playing with his glass before taking a sip. 

"Oh yeah? How so?" You didn't usually flirt so hard on the job, just enough to get a sizable tip, but the guy across from you was unbelievably handsome. Gorgeous hazel eyes, a salt and pepper beard with jet black hair. You figured he was late forties. He licked his perfect white teeth and flashed you a charming smile. It was like he wasn't even trying. He was effortlessly charismatic. He drew a breath a smile creeping along his lips. 

"You know, darling, I might just be old enough to be your dad," he commented. You chewed down on your bottom lip. You always did have a thing for older men. Maybe it was daddy issues, but older men were always just so much better at everything. You squeezed your legs together for a moment at that thought and leaned in closer to him. 

"Is that a problem for you?" You asked quietly. His eyes scanned you in silence and you started to grow a little nervous, maybe his flirting was just playful, maybe it was a problem that you were only in your mid twenties. 

"It isn't for you, is it?" he whispered with a smirk. You laughed for a second before straightening up and served the guy who had just got to the bar, trying to keep your focus as you thought about what he'd just said. He was into you. You had never slept with a customer before, he'll you'd never even let it get this far. Most of them were married and you knew it was usually just something playful and meaningless. Something to break up their boring week of working away from home. That was your comfort zone. This guy with his insanely gorgeous wandering eyes and silky deep drawl, was far out if it. He was mysterious and you found yourself wanting more and more, whatever he could give you. 

"Alright, so not a business man?" You asked once you were finished with the other customer. You grabbed the bottle of Jack and refilled his glass. 

"I didn't even ask for that, are you trying to get me drunk?" He smirked. 

"I wouldn't dream of it," you acted insulted as you put the bottle back in its place behind you.

"So do you have a room here?" You turned around to face him again and noticed he'd been checking out your ass. Normally it would make your skin crawl. You usually hated being oggled at, but this time it made your cheeks flush and between your legs throbbed for a second. 

"You ok there sweetheart?" He mused. Dammit, you'd made it obvious, he was  _affecting_  you. You bit down on your bottom lip for a moment.

"You know, I don't think you've answered a single one of my questions," you pointed out. 

"Well, maybe you ask too many," he smiled from behind his glass and shot the dark liquid back. 

"Fair enough," you laughed. "I'll leave you to it. Let me know when you want another refill." You winked at him and started to make your way to the other end of the bar. 

"Hey, darling," he motioned for you to come back with his eyes, "I'll have that refill." You grabbed the jack bottle and made your way back to him. As you stated to pour another measure he spoke up again, "go ahead, ask me something. I'll answer this time. Just the one though, so make it a good one." He teased. 

"Just the one huh?" You giggled. "Alright let me think for a second," he laughed as you licked your bottom lip. You weren't normally so forward but fuck it. "Do you want to take me back to your room after my shift?"

*

You'd never been inside one of the hotel rooms before. Each year at the work's Christmas do you were offered a room for free, but you'd never accepted it because you only lived two blocks away, and you much preferred your own bed. But they were nice. Large and spacious with a white fabric couch and dark mahogany coffee table in one room, between the bathroom and a large king bed in the room on the other side. The decoration was neutral, but it still felt warm and inviting. Hell this place was so much better than your pokey studio apartment.  You stood in the doorway, chewing down on your bottom lip. You couldn't deny you were nervous. You'd never done anything like this before with a customer. You'd had the odd one night stand, but this was different. This was taking professional and throwing it out the window of a ten storey building. You knew you wouldn't get in trouble for it, but it still felt so naughty. You closed your legs tighter again for a moment. God, this man was intoxicatingly good looking, and he had to know it. The way he effortlessly charmed and flirted. He strolled into the room like he owned the place, like the carpet should thank him for being walked over by him. God knows you were about to thank him for even looking at you with those hazel eyes. He commanded you, but he wasn't arrogant about it. There was also this tenderness to him. 

"Sit down, sweetheart, it's my turn to get you a drink, what would you like?" He asked softly. You snapped out of your thoughts as he picked the phone up off its retriever and waited for your response.

"Urm, wine, please." You cleared your throat and slowly placed your jacket over the arm of the couch, sitting down. 

"Red? White?" He prompted.

"White, thanks." He proceeded to talk down the phone, ordering your drinks and pizza. You had to smile at that, you were starved, you usually picked something up from one of the food places on your walk home, often pizza. Your stomach grumbled at the thought.  You didn't know what to expect. When you very bravely asked him to take you up to his room, you weren't expecting wine and pizza, you were expecting...well you were expecting to be naked on a bed by now. But what if he didn't actually want  _that_? Now this, above everything else tonight, was out of of your comfort zone the most. What happened to a good old fashioned hit and quit? God knows the men you usually hooked up with loved to do that. But the sense of mystery surrounding this man hadn't eased. Something told you he didn't do anything the usual way. Once he was finished ordering room service he came and sat next to you.

"I almost forgot," he started, reaching in his pocked and pulling out a twenty, "It's your tip, for earlier," he explained. You frowned slightly. You weren't about to take money off this guy, not in this situation. 

"Urm, no offence, but I really don't want your money right now...I mean...it kinda makes me feel a bit... _lady of the night,_  if you know what I mean." You blushed violently. He threw his head back and laughed for a moment.

"Shit, terrible timing, I get it." He laughed some more. He stuffed the note back into his pocket. 

It wasn't long before the drinks and pizza had arrived and he poured you a sizable glass of wine.

"So, do you buy wine and pizza for every girl you sleep with?" You asked amused. You were trying to relax. Quiet and shy wasn't you. You were flirty and forward, but having a bar in the middle of you made that much easier. His tongue came out to wet his bottom lip for a moment.

"Honestly, I don't do this very often." He admitted, "mainly because I don't have the time with work." 

"Oh really?" You barely hid the sarcasm in your voice. This man, didn't have many one night stands? Yeah, right. Bet he said that to every girl to make them feel special. But you didn't need him to make you feel special. You just needed him. "What is it you do?" You pried.

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you." He smirked. You laughed, but soon realised he actually wasn't going to tell you. Ok, man of mysteries wants to keep it that way. Fine. 

"So you're in town for this mysterious job of yours?" You asked.

"Something like that." He nodded. "So why older men?" He suddenly asked. You almost choked on thin air. 

"Daddy issues," you muttered with a shrug, embarrassed. You took a large gulp of wine, hoping it would help you relax further. He gave a short laugh."Plus the blind hope that older men actually know what they're doing. But I still haven't had a man give me an orgasm." You confessed, the wine clearly working now.

"Fuck off." His beer bottle inches from his lips as you'd stopped him in his tracks."What kind of fucking boys have you been sleeping with?" 

"Well, that's the thing, they're all men. Older, mature men. You think they'd have learned by now right?" you laughed. 

"Darling, I don't care how old they were, no man would leave you wanting more. Only boys do that. I don't think I could live with myself if a woman left my bed unsatisfied." He commented, swigging on his beer.

"Yeah, well I've heard that line before." You scoffed. His hazel eyes sparkled for a moment.

"Alright, darling, we'll make a deal. You're not allowed to leave this room until you're satisfied." His half lidded stare made you blush. 

"Alright, deal." You agreed, clinking your wine glass with his beer bottle.

*

You dropped the bed sheet you'd wrapped around yourself as the steam from the shower fogged up the mirror in front of you. Reaching out you run your hand across it so you could see yourself clearer. Your hair was a mess and your skin glowed. Who knew a post orgasm glow was a real thing? Well not you, that's for sure. Admittedly, you'd never actually felt that good before, so that was new to you too. Your legs were weak and shaky as you stood there. Grabbing some tissue, you rubbed the mascara smudges from your cheeks. God you were a hot mess. You stepped into the shower and let the hot water soak into your skin as you tried to avoid getting your hair wet. You weren't in there for long when you heard the bathroom door open and close, a large hand pushing the curtain back. He stood there, his own hair messed up, the smattering of salt and pepper chest hair he had glistened with sweat. Most men his age had given up on themselves, but not this guy. He was in such good shape. You wondered if that was thanks to his mysterious job or not. He stepped in behind you and reached up to brush your hair back over your shoulder. His lips kissed behind your ear and down your neck over you shoulder as you felt the goosebumps reemerge and the heat reignite between your legs. 

"You've not left yet then, sweetheart." He commented, "do I take it you're not satisfied?" You bit down on your bottom lip and grabbed the shower gel as you poured some into your hand.

"Oh trust me, that was  _very_  satisfying. But I don't think I've had enough yet," you teased. 

"Well we can't have that, can we?" He asked, pulling you back closer to him.

*

"We've spent the whole weekend together in this room, and yet I still know nothing about you." You commented, lifting your chest from his chest.

"I don't like talking about myself." He shrugged, his finger tracing over the top of your arm.

"All you have to do is answer my questions." You smirked.

"What is it you want to know?" He sighed, sitting up more. You sat up next to him and started to play with his chest hair.

"Where are you from?" 

"Kansas."

"Do you still live there?" You looked up from your hand and smiled at him,

"I don't really live anywhere, hotel rooms are my thing right now."

"Work?" You asked and he nodded. You already knew his job was apparently a secret so you bit your bottom lip as you thought of your next question,

"How old even are you?"  

"We've already covered this one, old enough to be your dad." He laughed. You rolled your eyes but giggled slightly. 

"Fine. How long are you in town?" You didn't want to know the answer, but you asked anyway. You knew this weekend was never going to happen again, hell you'd probably never even see him again considering he travelled so much and didn't even have a home somewhere. But you didn't want it to end. No man had ever made you feel the things he'd made you feel. God he was good with everything. His hands, his mouth, his...everything else. Plus, you felt comfortable with him. Although it was probably a good thing he wasn't here forever or you'd never want to leave this room, or even this bed. 

"Hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but I leave first thing in the morning. So I hope you're finally satisfied." He joked halfheartedly. You smiled to try and mask your disappointment. Although you had to go back to work tomorrow, so you couldn't exactly stay here anyway. Life went on outside that door. 

"Well, I wouldn't say I wasn't, but we should probably just check a couple more times." He laughed at that.

"We definitely should. I'd hate to break a deal." He agreed. 

"I won't see you again after tomorrow will I?" You asked.

"No." He sighed. 

"Oh good, I've had enough of you now." You joked, trying to lighten the mood. There was quiet for a moment.

"John?" 

"Yeah?" You wanted to ask him to stay, or at least come back and visit again, but you didn't want to seem desperate and needy, like you wanted to make this more than what it was; a weekend fling. 

"You ready to check again?" You smirked.


	3. Supernatural

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Dean decide to take the next step in your relationship. But will the happiness last?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! If you're on tumblr, follow me! Negans-lucille-tblr :D

You laced your fingers through his as the sunlight broke through the window, the light seeping through the gaps of your raised hands. Dean grumbled softly and pressed himself closer into your back, feeling his breath on the back of your neck as he kissed your shoulder lovingly. 

"We are actually going to do something today,“ you told him, dropping your hand and turning over to face him. There was something about the mornings that made his face so much more handsome. Maybe it was the slight puffiness in his cheeks from the way he slept on his pillow, or the way the morning sun made his eyes seem greener, or the fact his hair was slightly more ruffled than usual. You reached up to comb your fingers through it. 

"Oh yeah? I’m up for another round,” the cheeky smile spread over his entire face, his eyebrows raised slightly. 

"No not that, we’ve already done enough of that this weekend. Let’s go on a day trip or something.“ You suggested. Dean pursed his lips slightly as if to think about it. 

"Do we have to? I really liked plan A,” he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck and started to kiss the delicate skin. 

"Dean, come on, we’ve not left this room for two days.“ You chuckled, trying to pry him from you. 

"That’s your fault. You shouldn’t look so damn irresistible,” he smirked. You turned around in his arms and grabbed your phone to search for places in the area. Dean was pressed behind you again, his lips on the back of your neck and his hands exploring the contours of your body, the dip of your waist, up over the curve of your hip and around your front. 

"Oooh what about a supernatural museum?“ You gasped, stopping Dean in his tracks. You clicked on the link to see the details. It was only twenty minutes away. 

"Supernatural? Really? What like Ghosts and shit?” He laughed. “Oh god you don’t believe that crap do you? That might be a deal breaker,” he teased, his lips on the back of your shoulder. 

"Of course I don’t. But it’ll be fun,“ you look over your shoulder and smirk at him. "Come on, when you invite me over for the weekend I expect to be wined and dined not just fucked," 

"Hey, I bought take out yesterday! Last weekend we went to the movies and the weekend before that we ate at that new Italian place, that was ridiculously overpriced by the way.” Dean defended. You laughed and turned over to kiss the centre of his chest. 

"That’s all you’ve got, in our four months of being together, take out, a movie and that one time at a restaurant? The rest of the time you’ve only wanted one thing from me, Dean Winchester.“ You teased. 

"Alright, alright we’ll go to the freaking museum.” He laughed, laying back on the bed. 

"Yay!“ You cheered, throwing back the covers and getting up. 

 

It didn’t take you long to get ready, Dean slacking behind you so you decided to fix you both some breakfast. As you were serving up the bacon, Dean came out the bathroom wearing only a towel, his hair damp and ruffled. 

"Now sweetheart, are you absolutely sure you want to go to this stupid museum to see some freaky shit when we can just get freaky right here…” He held his arms out and wiggled his eyebrows at you. You rolled your eyes and chuckled to yourself. 

"Get dressed or your breakfast will get cold.“ You told him, turning your back and seeing to the eggs. You didn’t want to look at him much longer or you’d cave. He knew what he did to you when he was fresh from a shower. You looked back over your shoulder to see him still stood there. "Seriously, De, go!” You shouted back at him. 

"Alright, alright. God.“ He stropped like a teenager. He came back out dressed in jeans, a grey t-shirt and red flannel, sitting at the breakfast bar in front of his food. You poured him a mug of coffee and placed it next to his plate. "You look lovely, darling,” he smiled at you, shoveling food into his mouth immediately. You blushed and took a sip of your own coffee. 

"You don’t look so bad yourself.“ You mumbled from behind your mug, a smile coming to your lips. He always looked good. His green eyes sparkled at you as he finished up his food. 

"Alright where is this freak show anyway?” He dusted his hands off on his jeans and looked at you. 

"Just across town. Only twenty minutes away.“ You shrugged. You cleaned up the plates, putting them in the sink for later and quickly wiped down the breakfast bar. 

"You know, breakfast made for me, cleaning up after yourself, maybe I should keep you around permanently,” Dean smiled as he bit his bottom lip. 

"You want to keep me as your maid? You gonna pay me?“ You joked, moving towards the front door to grab your jacket. "What?” You asked when you noticed him staring at you, a devilish grin plastered on his face. 

"Just thinking about you in a maid outfit.“ His eyes sparkled and he wiggled his eyebrows. You rolled your eyes, trying to keep the smirk off your face. 

"Get your head out the gutter and pass me your keys,” you ordered. He threw them at you but you missed as they skidded along the floor to the door. Bending down to pick them up your eyes caught sight of something carved into the dark wooden floor under his doormat, “what’s this?” You asked him, pushing the mat out of the way. You revealed a circle with a pentagon in the middle, weird symbols you’d never seen before, inside the circle, surrounding the pentagon. You traced the carving with your fingertips. “De? Come look, did you know this was here?” You asked. You felt him stand over you and look down at it. 

"That? Oh yeah it was there when I moved in.“ He told you casually. 

"What is it?” You looked up at him. He shrugged a shoulder and pushed out his bottom lip. 

“I don’t know, I need to get the floors changed at some point." 

"How weird that someone would carve something like that in the floor, right by the door.” You commented as you pushed the mat back over it to cover it up and raised to your feet. 

"Maybe they couldn’t afford a mat?“ Dean flashed you a sarcastic grin and you rolled your eyes. 

"Alright, Mr Sarky, let’s go,” you smirked. 

 

* 

 

You’d been walking around the museum for a while. You couldn’t deny, all the different supernatural beings that were represented by models were quite creepy. Tall plaques with legends about their kind, their capabilities and weaknesses. Some of the figures even moved or made noises. The whole place was aptly, dimly lit and you clung onto Dean’s toned bicep for safety, almost afraid one of the things would come to life. You and Dean took it in turns to read the plaques out loud to each other in an overdramatic fashion, Dean sometimes scoffing and shaking his head at the information. 

"Who the hell comes up with all this crap?“ You giggled. Dean shrugged and looked around, a small frown carving into his brow. 

"Say all this was real,” he started and you instantly scoffed, “no humour me for a moment, say it was,” he came and stood in front of you, his green eyes piercing yours, “would you feel safe with me?” He asked. You frowned deeply before laughing. 

“De, come on, these things would be supernatural, you’re only human, we’d stand no chance!” Dean looked insulted, “I’m not trying to question your masculinity, I feel very safe with you, I just think these things would be… different. You can’t just punch one in the face,” you giggled. 

"Ok, fair point.“ He smirked. "So when are we leaving this shit hole?” He grumbled. The next room caught your eye, a poster on the wall with different supernatural symbols on them. 

"Dean, look. It’s the mark on your floor,“ you lead the way over and looked at the exact same symbol. "A devil’s trap,” you read. “It’s used for…" 

"Let me guess, trapping the devil,” Dean interrupted smugly. You nudged him with your elbow as you smirked. 

"Alright, smart ass. Why would someone carve the devil’s trap into your floor?“ You asked. 

"I don’t know, maybe they were superstitious. I mean I guess it doesn’t harm to be careful," 

"Don’t tell me you’re starting to believe this stuff,” you gasped. 

"No, I just…I mean look at it,“ he referenced to it, "it’s pretty freaking cool looking. I’m just saying, if there was something to all this then maybe I should keep it.” He shrugged nonchalantly. You rolled your eyes. 

"Ok, sure.“ You chucked, "your place I guess," 

"What if…what if it was our place?” He asked, his voice more timid than usual. 

“De?” You asked, turning to face him properly. 

"I know I joked about it earlier, and it’s not because of the breakfast or the cleaning or even the sex, although admittedly that is a pretty good bonus, but I think I’m ready to take that step,“ Dean told you, a real seriousness to his voice. 

"Wait, are you sure? You want to live together?” You asked. You’d never had a relationship that had got to this point before. Particularly not with a guy as young as Dean. But it was working, everything seemed so easy and natural with him. You felt like you were meant to know him, meant to be in his life. You could see Dean grow uneasy the longer you took to answer him. “I’d love to,” you smiled. “Really?” He laughed. You nodded and he kissed you. 

“Ok, great.” You could tell he was trying to hide his happiness, which only made him incredibly adorable. You looked past him to another room off the one you were in, a neon sign by the door displaying that there was 2 minutes until the next showing of some documentary that apparently proved that Big Foot was real. 

"Hey, fancy a laugh?“ You asked, nodding to the sign in question. Dean turned to look and laughed loudly. 

"Fuck me, really? Big foot? Now big foot really isn’t real,” he scoffed. 

"Oh and you’re saying the others are?“ You asked bemused. Dean frowned, 

"No, I just mean, big foot is…well… whatever let’s just watch the bloody thing I’d love to know what proof they have.” You shuffled into the small movie theatre style room and sat in the back row, an older couple sat the row in front to your right. The whole museum was fairly quiet so you weren’t surprised that there were only four of you in there. The lights turned off and the documentary started. Even the quality of the film was terrible, although you don’t know why you were so surprised. Dean slowly leaned into you, his mouth close to your ear, “How long is this thing?” He asked. You shrugged your shoulders, trying not to disturb the other couple in the room. “I’m bored already,” he complained. 

"I’m sure you can entertain yourself for a bit,“ you replied in a low whisper. It wasn’t long until Dean was sighing and shuffling next to you, clearly paying no attention to the not so gripping documentary, but you decided to ignore him. His hand slid across into your lap, as he cleared his throat. You kept your eyes on the screen as you felt his hand wander, over your thigh and between your legs, rubbing against your centre through your jeans. You glanced over at him, "De,” you whispered, pushing his hand away before turning your attention back to the screen. His hand returned, back to your centre, his fingers working harder to get through the thick fabric. Fuck it, the documentary was shit anyway. You opened your legs a little further so he had easier access. His hand travelled up to the waist band as he slowly and carefully pushed under the fabric of your jeans and your panties. His rough fingertips found the delicate skin of your bundle of nerves as he slowly circled them. You looked over at the other couple as you slowly slid down your chair a little, so he had a better angle. Your one hand gripped his thigh as you started to squeeze, needing to do something other than moan, and it seemed to be doing the trick. Your breathing became irregular as you felt the hardening lump press against your fingertips. God you wanted him so badly right now. You wanted to sit on his lap and let him devour you. But a loud cough from the woman sat less than a metre away reminded you that would be a terrible idea. 

“Now this is much more entertaining,” Dean growled in ear. You nodded in agreement, your grip becoming harder on his thigh, his erection now pressing painfully behind his own jeans. But helping him out was far too risky. You’d make up for it later. His fingers started making quicker work, the tips dipping in and out of your wet centre now and then. Maybe you were paranoid, but you were sure you could hear the wetness above the noise of the film playing out in front of you. You stiffled your moans as best as you could, biting down on your bottom lip as your free hand gripped Dean’s wrist, willing him to keep going. Your climax washed over you, toes curling inside your converse, your grip probably painful against Dean’s wrist and thigh. Dean slowly removed his hand, bringing it to his mouth as he sucked his fingers clean. You panted next to him and shook your head. 

"Can’t keep your hands off me for five minutes, Winchester,“ you scolded with a smirk. Dean chuckled lowly. 

 

* 

 

You straightened the garter and pulled your stockings, tightening the strap slightly to keep them in place. You turned left to right in the mirror, the black lack ensemble you’d dressed into was very similar to another favourite of Dean’s so you were confident that he would enjoy it. This was the best way you could think to make it up to him for earlier. Besides, you had some celebrating to do considering you were moving in together. He was only out getting you Chinese food so you didn’t have long to perfect your look. You sprayed some perfume and reached for the small tube of red lipstick, applying some and cleaning up the edges with your little finger nail. You pouted to make sure you’d got every bit of lip, scrunching your hair in your hands a little to give it some volume. You heard a knock on the door and slowly looked out at it as you noticed Dean’s keys hanging up where he kept them. Of course he forgot them. You rolled your eyes to yourself, walking across to the front door. Your heels clicked around the room. Hopefully none of his neighbours were out in the hallway. You unlocked the door, took a deep breath and opened it to surprise him. Your breath hitched in your throat at the sight in front of you. That wasn’t Dean. His hazel eyes scanned you, and for a second you saw lust before it quickly turned to confusion as he stepped back and reread the apartment number. 

"John,” you finally managed to mumble out. 

"Isn’t this…have I…“ He sounded as confused as you felt. What the hell was he doing here? Had he tracked you down? But why was he so confused to see you if he was looking for you? God he looked as good as you remembered and at that thought your body aches, the reminder of how good he made you feel over and over again that entire weekend. Before you could ask him what he was doing there, Dean appeared from around the corner, take out in his hands, his whistling grinding to a halt as he saw the two of you stood in the doorway. 

"Dad?” He asked. 

"Dad?!“ You echoed, your stomach knotting tightly.


	4. First Impression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's arrival stirs up mixed emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can follow me on tumblr! negans-lucille-tblr :D

 

The silence seemed to last for forever. Dean had a look in his eyes you'd never seen before, but you could barely take your eyes off John. The man you spent six months thinking about, the first man to give you a freaking orgasm, was your boyfriend's freaking dad. This could not get any worse. Your stomach twisted as the nausea washed over you, your heart thumping in your throat. Dean could never find out what had happened, you or John could never tell him.

 

"Well, sweetheart, that's quite a first impression," John smirked, breaking the eerie silence, his hazel eyes scanning you. Dean's green orbs flashed at you and widened. Suddenly remembering your outfit choice, you clammed up.

"Oh god," you muttered. You didn't want to leave them alone in case John said something, you needed to talk to him first, tell him to keep his deliciously talented mouth shut. God, this was awful, you were already thinking about that weekend again, despite the dread paralysing your body, arousal pooled in the pit of your stomach as you caught his scent. The things that man had done to you, you couldn't help yourself.

"Baby..." Dean prompted, his expression begging you to cover up. Oh right, yeah. That. You took a gulp and looked back at John, trying to subtly plead with him that he didn't say anything. But as you cast your mind back to what he'd just said, he used the phrase _"first impression_ " that had to mean he was pretending you didn't know each other too.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, running into the bedroom to find something to cover up. You didn't want to be gone too long. Not only for your own interests, but Dean seemed pretty upset that John had showed up and you wanted to show him support. You grabbed your dressing gown and pulled it on. They were just going to have to overlook the stockings and heels for a moment. When you came back out you saw that John had been let in and Dean was setting your food down on the breakfast bar.

"What do you want, Dad?" Dean spat. You sensed a lot of tension between them and you didn't know if this was a good or a bad thing. Thinking about it, Dean had never mentioned his father, or any of his family for that matter. You supposed it was a positive that they weren't best pals considering the situation you found yourself in, but you also didn't want Dean to have any more reason to hate his own Dad. Your mind wandered to just what John might have done that was so terrible when he'd seemed nothing but sweet and gentle with you. Well at least _outside_ of the bedroom. You mentally scolded yourself for even thinking that. You really needed to forget that whole weekend ever happened if you were going to hide it from Dean or he'd figure something was off pretty quickly.

 

John's hazel eyes softened as he looked at his son.

"How's Sam?"

"Seriously dad? How's Sam? All this time and that's the first thing you fucking ask me? If you wanted to know how Sam was you should've gone to see him! Or maybe don't be such a shitty dad and pick up the phone once in a while. I'm great thanks for asking, I've got a girlfriend now, we're doing well, she's moving in with me," Dean referred to you, acknowledging you were there for the first time in a while. John didn't even look at you, you wondered if his guilty conscious had come into play like yours had yet, "Yeah, I _love_ her..." That word. He'd never said that word before, not about or to you. You wanted the ground to swallow you whole. You were wrong earlier. It could get worse. Dean loved you and was stood there declaring it to a man, unbeknownst to him, you'd had sex with. Your head was spinning.

"Dean, I'm proud of you, really." John spoke softly, despite how venomous Dean's words were. "And I'm sorry, okay? I had a job and..."

"No more bullshit excuses, Dad. You've been a shitty father for a long time now, without all the jobs." Dean snapped. "Just tell me what you want." He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and bypassed his glass as he took a swig from the bottle. You'd never seen him like this. You felt helpless, stood just watching on, feeling an immense amount of guilt at the fact all you cared about right then was the truth about you and John staying buried.

"Nothing, Dean. I was just coming to see you." John said. Dean scoffed and took another swig of drink.

"Yeah, right." Another swig, "Well, you should've gone to see Sam instead." Dean mumbled, his speech slowly starting to slur the more swigs from the bottle he took. "You know what Dad? I don't know how Sam is, ok? I haven't spoken to him in six months, he doesn't want to know me, he won't answer my calls. He could be dead for all I know. He wanted out of this bullshit and I don't fucking blame him. I thought I was out of it too, but here you are showing up."

"I'm sorry, son. I didn't mean to...just let me crash the night and I'll be out of your hair by morning." John sighed, clearly losing the fight. Dean's green eyes flashed to you as they softened.

"Whatever." He mumbled, walking past you and shutting himself in the bedroom. You finally dared to look at John again. He took a deep breath and grabbed the whiskey bottle Dean had been nursing as he took a swig himself. Like father, like son it seemed.

"Well this is quite the situation, huh darling?" He spoke lowly, hopefully out of Dean's earshot. You walked up to him slowly. You needed to forget that weekend. You had something good here with Dean, great, perfect even. Nothing was going to ruin that. And John had clearly done something to upset Dean so much. He couldn't stay.

"One night. Then you're out." You whispered. John's hazel eyes narrowed slightly.  
"I thought we left things on a very good note." His tongue came out to wet his bottom lip as you shook you head at his comment.

"Really? You learn I'm your son's girlfriend and you're still trying it on? That weekend...never happened. Me and Dean are happy. I don't know what went on between you and Dean, it doesn't even matter, but for once, be a good Dad and just leave us alone."

"Now, sweetheart, why are you so desperate for me to leave? I'm not going to tell him anything, and clearly you're not either. So that makes me think there's another reason you can't have me around. Are you afraid of what I do to you?" He asked, his eyes burning your skin as your face flushed. "You still think about that weekend, don't you? Still think about all the ways I made you..."  
"You're unbelievable," You cut across him.  
"I think about it too...all the time," He murmured as his eyes dropped to your lips. You let yourself get lost in him again for a moment. Finding your self control again you straightened up.

"Dean's right, you are a shitty father. Goodnight, John." You turned and headed for the bedroom, not wanting to admit that you didn't trust yourself to stay. You didn't trust either of you and that's why he needed to leave.

 

 

Dean was tucked up in bed and you slowly removed your dressing gown, turning and hanging up on the back of the door.

"What a shame, you look fucking amazing." Dean spoke up, the drunken slur still evident in his voice.

"It's fine. We'll save it for another time." You spoke softly, unsure how to approach him or what to say to make him feel better.

"Why?" He propped himself up on his elbows.

"Because you just had a massive argument with your father who is the other side of that door." You reminded him.

"Fuck him, he's ruined my life enough times. I'm not letting him ruin this. Come here, let me appreciate you." He smirked. His plump lips puckered slightly.

"No, Dean." You blushed, the idea of John hearing you made you nervous. But then, the more you thought about it, an arousal heated up inside you. It would show him you'd moved on, it would show him how he wasn't the only made that ever made you feel good anymore. Maybe then he'd leave well enough alone. Dean was still trying to tempt you with his eyes as they scanned you. You rolled your own at him and scoffed a laugh.

"I guess it is unfair of him to spoil our fun, after the effort I've gone to." You agreed, making your way over to him. Dean smirked and reached out for you, his hand cupping you ass cheek.

"That's my girl," Dean purred, throwing the covers back as he revealed his body, only boxers to hide his modesty, and even those couldn't hide the growing erection. You carefully straddled his waist, being sure to stay away from his excitement. "Damn this colour suits you," his fingertips traced the outline of your bra, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He reached forward and kissed your neck as his teeth bit down on the delicate skin. You moaned, fingers pushing through his hair.

"Hm, yes. I want everyone to know I'm yours," you encouraged. It was childish, really. Wanting a stupid love bite like some sex obsessed teenager, just to rub it in John's face that you had moved on. You hadn't even given work a second thought. Dean seemed to happily obliged as he sucked and nibbled the skin in turn until it left a sore spot. You slowly slid your body down his, your heat now pressed against his fully hardened member, grinding your hips slowly. Dean groaned, his hands gripping at your hips painfully, but it only intensified the heat building between your legs. You felt the material graze against your delicate skin as your arousal slicked his boxer shorts. You sat up slightly and freed him from the confines of his underwear. Sitting back down you continued to grind. Dean's head snapped to look down between your legs so quickly you're surprised he didn't get whiplash. You smirked as you watched the realisation hit him.

"Oh yeah, did I forget to mention these panties are crotchless?" you whispered seductively, your mouth against his ear before you nibbled his lobe slightly. Without a second to breathe, Dean had flipped you over so you were on your back as he growled. You squealed in delight as he tried to hush you somewhat. His large hands spread your legs wide as he kissed over your breasts.

"God, Dean," you gasped, fingers combing through his hair as you started gently guiding his head down your body. He got the hint pretty quickly and settled himself between your legs, his mouth teasing every inch of skin around your aching sex. As a fresh wave of arousal hit you, he was sure to see it. Dean growled against your skin and started working on another mark to claim you on your inner thigh. This one was your dirty little secret.

"Please, Dean," you begged, no hint of an attempt to remain quiet for your company's sake. Dean didn't seem to care as he finally granted your wish. His warm tongue danced through your lips over your clit and back down, dipping in and out of your opening. The moan he released vibrated your sweet spot and you gasped, your head thrown back into the pillow. God he was so good at this and now you knew where he got it from. At that thought you moaned louder, your fingers pulling on his short brunette hair as you ground your hips against his face. "Oh fuck, Dean. I'm gonna..." You practically shouted down at him, your orgasm taking over every part of you as you squealed in delight. "Fuck," your orgasm was drawn out and you wondered what John made of it. Was he jealous that he wasn't special to you anymore? Was he turned on thinking about the times you'd screamed the same way for him?

"I am nowhere near finished with you, sweetheart," you brought your attention back to Dean as he climbed over you and pressed his throbbing cock at your centre. "You're gonna be screaming my name all night long," he smirked. And you didn't mind one bit. 

 


	5. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Dean are getting closer until something pulls him away.

“I don’t know what got into you other than my dick last night but I fucking loved it,” Dean’s hand squeezed your hip, his breath hot on your neck. 

“Well good morning to you too,” you giggled turning around to face him. “I don’t know, I guess seeing angry Dean was kind of a turn on,” you blushed. Your whole body ached and you still felt tired. Last night’s activities had lasted way longer than usual. Most of the night in fact. 

“Hm, you’ve not seen proper angry Dean, bet he’d have you creaming your panties,” he teased. You laughed, 

“You did last night that’s for sure,” you smirked. 

“Well then maybe I should keep my dad around, if it turns you on that much. I could certainly go for more nights like last night." 

"No,” you said more seriously this time. 

“I was joking.” Dean laughed a little awkwardly, “Not a fan of Papa Winchester then?" 

"No, well sounds like he was a shitty dad.” You lied, getting out of bed. You needed to remove yourself from this conversation. You were feeling guilty as hell. “Fancy some breakfast in bed?” You asked. A shit eating grin spread across his face. 

“I’m the luckiest guy in the fucking world,” he beamed. You just flashed a fake smile and grabbed your dressing gown, wrapping it around you securely before you stepped out of the room. 

 

John wasn’t on the couch where you assumed he’d be, instead, he was in the kitchen making himself coffee. Great. You tried to avoid eye contact as you approached him, opening the fridge to find something to make Dean for breakfast. 

“I slept fine, thanks for asking,” John piped up. 

“I didn’t,” you snapped, grabbing the eggs and some bacon as you slammed the fridge door shut. 

“Despite the noise,” he added. You felt your cheeks heat up as you grabbed a bowl to make the eggs in. “I’m really happy that you’ve found someone who can keep you happy,” you glanced at him and frowned. 

“Yes and that someone is your son.” You reminded him. 

“Well at least you know where he gets it from,” John smirked. You tried to ignore him. You hated that’s exactly what you’d been thinking last night. Things had been going perfectly with Dean. You finally felt comfortable with someone, enough to want to live with them, and now this. You should’ve figured it was too good to be true. John reached forward, brushing your hair back over your shoulder to reveal your neck. His fingertip lightly brushed over the mark Dean had given you. You’d forgot about that, and the one on your inner thigh. “Mature. Although, I guess that’s what happens when you sleep with younger guys, huh?” His hazel eyes sparkled at you, stirring something you’d rather stayed sleeping. Suddenly, you realised, there was jealousy in his face. He was jealous. Score.

“John, please.” You pleaded. He needed to stop doing that. His effortlessly charming and cheeky chappy cockiness is what had gotten you into his bed the first time. But it couldn’t happen again. No matter how unfinished the business between you felt. Not when you were in a relationship with his son. His own flesh and blood. Who, by the way, he’d failed to mention the entire weekend you spent together. Although, in his defence, telling the girl you’ve just had your dick inside of that you have a son around her age isn’t exactly seductive. And this Sam, whoever he was. You assumed Dean’s brother the way they talked about him last night. Great, so two sons.  He has two sons around your age, maybe even much older if Dean was the youngest. And you slept with him,  _several_  times. “Please just leave,” you whispered. John’s hazel eyes softened as he looked at you.

“That really what you want, sweetheart?” He asked you, maintaining eye contact. You gulped. The real, honest answer was  _no_. You wanted him to stay. You wanted to touch him, taste him, feel him again. But it could and would never happen. 

“You need to go, John. For Dean’s sake.” He could take that however he wanted. You felt tears in your eyes. Whether that was guilt or the realisation that your relationship with Dean, or John for that matter, would never be the same again, you weren’t sure. John didn’t say anything, but nodded his understanding and gently pushed past you. 

“Tell him I’m sorry, yeah? I wish things had been different…for you too,” He looked genuine as he grabbed his duffle bag and left without another word. 

You stood and stared at the door for a while. He was actually gone, and until he decided to come back, whenever that would be, things could go back to normal with Dean. You could forget about him like you’d done for the last four months, forget he was your boyfriend’s father, forget all the things he made you feel. Besides, it was purely sexual. You didn’t want to be with him, didn’t want to date him or have any of the relationship things you had with Dean with him. But God you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to relive that weekend over and over again. Dean satisfied you plenty, so you didn’t know why you were still so drawn to John. You just couldn’t put your finger on it. 

Dean seemed to appreciate his breakfast in bed. You weren’t hungry though, so you didn’t join him. 

“Your dad is gone,” You told him. “What’s the deal with you two anyway?” You asked, watching him closely. He continued to shovel food into his mouth as he gave a nonchalant shrug. 

“Just family drama.”

“De, come on. If we’re gonna live together you have to open up to me about stuff,” you encouraged.

“Fine. My father did a shitty job raising us,” He huffed, but soon his face softened, “Mom was killed when I was little and after that he just became obsessed with finding bad guys. So he became a PI and took us around the country with him. He’d leave me and Sammy in motel rooms whilst he worked and I basically brought Sam up,” Dean explained as he played with the remaining food on his plate. You felt your heart grow heavy, how had he never told you this before?

“So Sam is your younger brother?” You asked. Dean nodded. Well that was at least something you supposed. John wasn't  _that_  old. You almost rolled your eyes at yours _elf. Get a grip, the man is baring his soul to you and you’re worried about how old his dad is?_ “So what happened with Sam?” Dean took a deep breath.

“I honestly can’t really tell you. Dad wanted us both to do PI work too, Sam just didn’t want that life so he left for college and I guess, just left us behind.” He shrugged like it was no big deal but you could tell it really was. There was a reason he kept it to himself. 

“Does he know that you’re a mechanic? You don’t even do that stuff?” You asked. Dean shrugged again. 

“I did it for a bit but Sam was right. Dad wanted that life, we didn’t. I just wanted to be normal, a house, wife, kids.” He blushed. 

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” you reassured him. 

 

*

 

It had been a few days since Dean had opened up to you about his family and you felt closer than ever. You’d told him personal things about your life too, about how you didn’t know your dad and your mom was too busy off living the high life with her endless chain of boyfriends to care about you. You were an only child so that was the extent of your family, really. It had always just been you. You felt more connected to Dean, like you were two lone wolves who had found each other to ease the pain of not having anyone else. Like it was all meant to be that way somehow. 

It was valentine’s day and Dean had decided it was your turn for breakfast in bed, although staring down at the food on your plate, you were glad it wasn’t ever his turn usually. Never the less, the thought was there. He looked at you with a grin on his face, clearly very pleased with himself. You had no idea how you were getting out of this without hurting his feelings. Lifting the tray off you and placing it down on the floor beside the bed you smiled sweetly at him, coming up with a plan.

“You know…” You slowly peeled back the covers to reveal your naked body, “I think I’m hungry for something else,” you bit down on your bottom lip, crawling over to him. 

“Oh yeah?” He smirked, watching you get closer, as lust turned his eyes a darker shade of green. You reached him and stretched up to kiss his lips, your hand running through his soft hair as his arm wrapped around your naked waist. 

“Think I might want…” You trailed off, letting your hand doing the talking as it felt down his body, over his chest, following his abs down to his pubic bone. You hit the elastic band of his boxer shorts and run your hand over the front to the already semi hard lump inside. Dean jerked his hips forward, a low groan bleeding through his lips. 

“Oh yeah, sweetheart? Want my cock?” He asked. Biting down on your bottom lip you looked up at him innocently through your eyelashes and nodded. His hand came to caress your face, his thumb pulling on your bottom lip as you opened your mouth for him. “You hungry little slut,” he growled. You weren’t sure what had gotten into him, but you liked it. He wasn’t usually so degrading, but it stirred something in you. The way he was talking, John spoke like that. It’s what had gotten you so riled up for him in the first place. Your drenched pussy clenched around nothing. Without breaking eye contact, you pulled his boxers down, letting his now fully hardened cock spring free. He pushed his thumb into your mouth as you sucked on it, swirling your tongue around the tip. Dean hummed his approval, a smirk lighting up his entire face. As he let your face go, you leaned down lower, your head in line with his dick. But before you could taste him, a phone started ringing. It was a ringtone you’d not heard before, the arousal completely draining from Dean’s face as he rushed to the other side of the room to grab his phone. He’d changed his ringtone. 

“Dean!” you called, frustrated that he’d decided a phonecall was more important right then. He ignored you and answered the phone quickly. 

“What’s wrong?” Was the first thing he said, obviously already knowing who was the other end. “Sit tight, I’ll be as quick as I can,” Dean mumbled. He started darting around the room, pulling his boxers back up over his already soft member before pulling on jeans and a t-shirt.

“Who was that?” You asked. “Dean! What the hell’s going on?” You climbed off the bed and followed him out into the living room. 

“I’ve got to go.” Was all Dean said before he was gone, the front door slammed shut behind him. You huffed and folded your arms over your chest. What the hell was that about?


	6. Valentine's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your first Valentine's Day with Dean definitely doesn't go to plan.

"Dean! Answer your fucking phone! Tell me what the hell is going on!" You huffed to his answerphone. You hung up and dialed again. Answerphone. Again.  "At least just let me know you're okay and when you're coming back!" He'd been gone for two hours already. You pulled your cardigan tighter around your body, a chill in the air. You needed to change out of shorts and a tank top that was for sure. A knock on the door brought you back to the room as you rushed over to it, hoping it was Dean explaining everything, that guy forgot his key more times than he changed his clothes. You swung it open to be greeted by John again.  
"Oh, it's you." You huffed.

"Nice to see you too. Where's Dean?" He asked, pushing past you and into the apartment.  
"Come in, sure why not." You mumbled, checking no one else was with him and shutting the door. "I don't know, he answered a call and left. I have no idea what's going on." You told him. "Why are you here? I thought you were leaving town?" You crossed your arms over your chest.

"Dean told me to come back," he shrugged, dumping his duffel bag down on the couch. 

"You spoke to Dean? What did he say? What's going on?" You asked him quickly, approaching him.

"Your guess is as good as mine, sweetheart." He told you. "Probably just some Dean drama. He was always driving across country for ex girlfriends. They shout boo he goes running, there was always one in particular... Lisa," John said nonchalantly with a shrug. You weren't sure if he was just winding you up or if he was being serious. Dean wouldn't leave you, on your first Valentine's Day, to drive across country for some ex girlfriend, would he? But what if he would, what if he was having an affair? It would explain the different ringtone. You barely saw each other in the weeks because of work. You worked evenings and he worked days so he had plenty of chances to see some other woman. And he was incredibly good looking, you'd seen the way he'd turn heads when you were out. 

"Excuse me," you whispered, feeling yourself getting upset. You locked yourself in the bedroom and clasped a hand over your mouth as you felt the tears stream down your face. You didn't want John to hear you cry. The look on Dean's face when he answered the phone, you could see whoever was the other end was important to him. So much more important than you were, clearly. You felt jealousy, something wasn't right here, you just knew it. And for the first time you let the reality of your situation sink in. What were the chances that John was Dean's dad? You couldn't live with this big secret, it was going to eat you alive. One tiny, dark part of you, wished that Dean was having an affair. That way, you could feel fine with what had happened. You had reason to leave, escape from this mess. But he told John he loved you, why would he say that if he was cheating? Why would he cheat if he meant it? Your brain felt foggy, you couldn't make heads or tails of anything. You heard a soft knock at the door.

"WHAT?!" You snapped, your breath shaky thanks to your tears. You wiped your face quickly as John peered around the door. 

"You ok, darling?" He asked softly.

"I'm fine," You lied, "I'm fucking fine." You repeated, but you couldn't hold the cries in. Fresh tears stained your cheeks. John wrapped his arms around you as you engulfed his smell. For once you weren't thinking about that weekend, you didn't feel guilty or turned on by any of it, you just felt safe. You let him hold you. "John, do you think Dean might be..." you didn't finish your sentence. "Don't worry." You muttered. You stepped out of his embrace and wiped your face once more. John's hazel eyes looked concerned, he reached up and used his thumb to wipe away a tear you'd clearly missed. 

"All this is so fucked up." You laughed breathlessly, trying to lighten the mood. "why did it have to be you?" 

"That weekend?" he asked. You shook your head gently.   
"No, I don't want to change that weekend." You confessed. "Why did you have to be Dean's dad?" you explained. John shook his own head, like he wasn't happy about that either. There was a genuine connection there, there had been the moment he sat on that bar stool opposite you that night. But you loved Dean, what you had with him was very much real. John tipped your head back with his finger under your chin.

"Don't you worry your pretty little mind, sweetheart. We can't change what happened. We can't help any of this." He whispered. He was right, of course. You nodded slowly, agreeing. He placed a long soft kiss on your forehead. You closed your eyes and soaked in his affection. It was soothing, exactly what you needed right then. 

"I'm gonna shower." You sighed, stepping out of his embrace completely. You needed to wash everything away. You weren't sure if Dean was cheating or not, but there was nothing you could do about that right then anyway.

"That an invitation?" John smirked. You rolled your eyes.

"Back to normal I see." You laughed softly. John shrugged and flashed you a wink, before heading back into the living room.

 

*

 

You stepped out of the shower feeling fresh and a little more at ease than before, although the question of whether Dean was cheating on you was still very much playing on your mind. You ran the spare part of the towel wrapped around you through your hair, scrunching it. You scanned his room. There would be some sort of proof if he was cheating right? You decided to look for it. If you found something then you knew he was cheating and you could confront him when he got home, whenever that was going to be. You looked through his clothes drawers first but there was nothing interesting in them, then moved on to his bedside table, the usual stuff in most of the drawers, condoms, pens, some of his jewellery. The bottom drawer held an old brown leather note pad, you took it out and flicked through it, random scribbles and drawings flicking past until something fell out and landed on the bed beneath you. You dropped the notepad and held up the photo. Dean and some girl. He was stood behind her, her nestling into his side. She had long dark hair, tanned skin and was beautiful. Far more beautiful than you thought yourself to be. He looked happy, as did she, huge smiles plastered on both their faces. Who was she? And why would he have a photo of her hidden away if she was only an ex girlfriend? Was this the girl he was cheating with? 

"Hey I'm gonna order pizza, you want some?" You heard John call in.  

"Sure," you agreed mindlessly. You continued to stare at the photo for a moment, your stomach knotting and tears threatening your eyes again. But you were sick of crying over cheating scumbag, Dean Winchester. And to think, you felt guilty for something you did before you even  _knew_  him? No, now you were just angry, and the second he walked through that front door he was going to know it. You put the photo back in the notepad and threw the book into the drawer, slamming it shut. You needed a fucking drink, and quickly. 

 

You headed to the kitchen and opened the cupboard that held the alcohol. You grabbed a bottle of wine and a glass to put it in. 

"Now this brings back some very fond memories," you turned around to see John leaning on the breakfast bar as he smirked at you, his hazel eyes scanning you up and down. You rolled your eyes but smirked at him.   
"Wine?" You asked. He nodded and you grabbed another glass, pouring him a large measure to match yours. "Here's to Dean being a twat," you announced, holding your glass between the two of you.

"Takes after his Daddy," John laughed, clinking his glass with yours. You took a sizable mouthful and made sure your towel was still wrapped around you securely. 

"Amen to that," you teased. John winked at you and you blushed. 

"You feeling better?" he asked, seriously.

"I guess." You shrugged, "but I still think wine will make it all much better." You laughed. John kept his eyes on you so you stared back, taking another swig of wine. God, the way he looked at you, like you were the best damn thing he'd seen all year, it made you feel incredibly good about yourself. "So, pizza, wine...are you trying to get me back into bed John Winchester?" you smirked. John took another swig of his wine and licked his lips slowly.

"Well, given the day..." he started, a teasing smile lighting up his handsome face. 

"It's fine, I had to sort myself out last Valentine's day too. No one does it better anyway." You winked at him and took another gulp of wine, your worries about Dean and his affair melted away the more you drank. You cared less and less, enjoying John's flirting more and more. 

"Guess I'm not sleeping tonight with that image in my mind." John bit his bottom lip, "Anyway, no one does it better? I'm insulted, sweetheart." 

"Oh no! I am not boosting your already huge ego!" You laughed.

"Don't know what you're talking about, darling, I mean, I thought I rocked your world that entire weekend but if you'd have had more fun on your own, you could've just said and I'd have let you be." His mischievous grin made him look even hotter.  

"Ha!" you retorted, poking your tongue out at him childishly. "I've already told you I'm not boosting your ego, so I'm just not going to say anything to that." You told him. He already knew damn well how you felt about that weekend, he already knew what he could and did do to you. "I guess I should put some clothes on now."  You blushed, remembering that all that was covering your modesty was a small towel. 

"If you insist." He'd clearly made no effort to hide the disappointment on his face and you giggled to yourself. 

 

You walked back through to the bedroom, purposely leaving the door open. If he sat on the couch, he would probably catch a glimpse. The thought alone caused a thrill to rise in you. It wasn't anything he hadn't seen before, and anyway, he might not even look. And it wouldn't be your fault if he did. 

 

You dressed slowly, making sure every inch of you was dried first. You came back out to the living room to see John had made himself at home on the couch, your wine glasses on the table in front of you, the almost empty bottle of wine accompanying them. 

"I thought you were putting some clothes on?" He teased. You looked down at yourself, the same tank top and shorts from earlier hugging your figure. 

"Alright, Dad." You joked, sitting down next to him and grabbing your wine glass. You finished it and poured yourself some more, topping up John's glass with what was left in the bottle. You climbed over him to reach the table that was placed alongside the side of the couch, grabbing your moisturiser. As you climbed back to your original seat, you noticed his hazel eyes had been lingering on your body, and you bit down on your bottom lip. You'd be lying if you said you weren't relishing in the attention. You pretended you hadn't noticed and started to rub the lotion into your arms first. You could see him watching you out of the corner of your eye and slowly moved onto your legs. You rested your foot on the coffee table in front of you, rubbing the lotion in, making sure you got every inch of skin. Reaching your upper, inner thigh, you noticed Dean's mark that still hadn't faded. The one on your neck had disappeared pretty quickly, luckily, but this one was clearly stubborn. You watched as John noticed it, jealousy flashing over his features for a moment. You tugged on your shorts to try and hide it, but he'd seen it now. You didn't know what he expected really, you were in a relationship with someone else. You weren't  _his._ He cleared his throat and finished his wine.

"I think we need something stronger." He announced, getting up and heading to the kitchen. He returned moments later with a bottle of whiskey and two fresh glasses. You put your moisturiser away and let him pour you a glass. You took long slips and felt its affects take over you, mixing with the wine you'd already had. Your mind buzzed. 

"Be honest, do you really think about that weekend?" You asked him. "Or were you just winding me up?" John laughed under his breath for a moment.

"Yeah I do, a lot, actually." He confessed. 

"Why?" you asked, turning your body to face him more. 

"Because it was the first time in a long time I was having a good time. I was enjoying myself. My job doesn't really let me do that." He told you.

"Oh yeah, Mr Private investigator." You teased, "Oh I guess you need to kill me now." You smirked, thinking back to his remark when you originally asked him. 

"What a damn shame that'll be," he chuckled softly. His eyes traveled to your lips as he wetted his own with his tongue. You remembered those lips, the way he tasted, the things he could make you feel with them. It was something you were sure you'd never forget. You weren't exactly sure why, but you leaned forward and let him kiss you. He tasted as good as you remembered, his salt and pepper beard scratching the skin around your lips. His large hands cupped each side of your face as he deepened the kiss, his tongue pushing into your mouth, as it retracted, his teeth gently captured your bottom lip. A knock at the door broke you apart, the loud noise bringing you back to reality. You looked down at your lap and cleared your throat, tucking your hair behind you ears. John got up and answered it, being handed a pizza as he in turn, handed the delivery driver a bill. You fiddled with you hands in your lap. You shouldn't have done that. Just because it had happened before didn't mean it should happen again. And just because Dean was a cheater, didn't mean you got to be either. No, it wasn't right, despite how good it might have felt. 

 

*

 

It was gone midnight and the amount of alcohol you'd consumed made your eyes feel heavy. You assumed Dean wasn't coming back until at least morning. 

"I'm going to sleep," you could feel yourself slurring as you tried to get up on your feet, but they were rather unsteady.

"Whoa..." John raised to his own feet to help steady you. "Ok, sweetheart." He soothed, his strong arms scooping you up as he carried you to the bedroom. God you were an embarrassment. That guy had definitely out drank you. He barely seemed tipsy. He laid you down carefully on the bed, pulling the covers up over you.   
"John," You called out, grabbing his hand. "Stay with me." You whispered, your eyes closing as the warmth of your bed made you feel even drowsier. "No funny business." you added, "just...be here." you managed to say before falling asleep.

 

Waking up, you clutched your throbbing head, turning over to see John asleep on top of the covers, fully dressed next to you. You groaned, the night slowly coming back to you. Clearly, your inhibitions had gone out the window, but luckily, not enough that you had sex with your boyfriend's dad...again. Soon to be ex boyfriend. You glared at thin air as you remembered the whole reason you thought alcohol was a good idea in the first place. Dean fucking Winchester and his affair. What a dick. At the thought of him, you realised you had no idea when he would be back, if he wasn't already, and John was sleeping next to you in his bed. As much as you wanted to rub it in his gorgeously stupid face that you'd had sex with his grade A father, this was not how you wanted him to find out. Although you didn't exactly have the best experience finding out about his dirty little secret. You hit John on the arm.

"Get up," you grunted, staggering out of bed to the bathroom. When you returned to the bedroom, you noticed John wasn't lying on the bed anymore and made your way to the living area, to see him in the kitchen putting coffee on. Coffee, what a great idea. 

"How's that beautiful head of yours, sweetheart?" He smirked.

"Don't talk to me." You grumbled, thankful for the warm mug of liquid gold he'd just placed in front of you. You sat on the bar stool the other side of the counter and hid your face in your hands, feeling very sorry for yourself. Dean could, and hopefully would be home any moment now. You felt somewhat still drunk, which might've been the extra something you needed to be brave enough to confront him about this other, prettier woman. Your first valentine's Day, of all days, was the one he ran out on. Could he be any more of an asshole? Talking of assholes, you lifted your head to look at John as he sipped his coffee. "Last night...that kiss..." You began.

"Didn't happen, I know the drill, I'm not stupid," John laughed. "Just tell me one thing, do you regret it?" You looked down at your coffee mug again and bit your bottom lip.

"I don't regret anything," you told him with a blush before taking a large gulp of coffee, hoping it would help ease your pounding head. 

"Good, because I don't either, in fact I..." But before he could finish the front door opened and Dean stormed through it. He walked straight up to you and grabbed you hard, kissing you harder, his hands holding your face in place. To say you were confused was an understatement. The kiss was desperate and harrowing. He looked like he'd seen a ghost. 

"Sammy?" John spoke up. As you and Dean parted you looked past him to see another guy, taller than Dean, stood in the doorway. His face was red and blotchy as his long brunette hair flopped over the side of his face. He stood there duffle bag in hand looking utterly broken. Sam. Dean's brother. "Sam, what's happened?" John asked.

 

 


	7. Hell Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean brings back a grieving Sam, which leads to other issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this chapter contains a scene of dub-con.

Sam had locked himself in the bedroom and you could hear the shower running. Barely anyone had spoken, particularly Sam, so you didn’t get to introduce yourself properly, or at least say hi. Your track record with in laws was clearly rocky to say the least. Once Sam was definitely out of earshot Dean turned to you and John. 

“Jessica,” he started, “his girlfriend,” he seemed to add for your benefit, “was in some car crash, a drunk driver ran a red light and hit the side of her. They tried everything but she died,” you gasped loudly at Dean’s explanation and clasped a hand over your mouth. “I told him he could stay a while, I don’t exactly know where but we’ll make it work,” Dean looked between you.

“I should look into it.” John spoke up.

“Dad, there’s nothing to look into, it was an accident, not every case is like mom’s.” He was sincere, not bitter and John nodded his head. 

“Then I’m gonna stick around here for a while, make sure Sammy’s ok, be here for you too,” he looked between the two of you as a blush appeared on your cheeks. He wasn’t leaving, and a bigger part of you than you wanted to admit, was glad about that. Dean didn’t look incredibly happy about it, but he didn’t argue either. 

“Look, we can’t host two people in this place there’s only one bedroom. Why doesn’t Sam take my apartment, and John can stay at the hotel, I can get him staff discount,” you offered. 

“That works, thank you baby,” Dean smiled at you sadly and kissed you softly. Your eyes guiltily glance at John and then to the floor. 

“I’ll go and check in.” John cleared his throat. 

“How do you even know what hotel she’s talking about?” Dean somewhat snapped.

“I told him whilst you were gone,” you lied quickly, thinking on your feet. 

“Good point. Dad, why the hell  _are_  you in my apartment at 7 in the morning?”

“You told me to come back,” John shrugged. 

“No I told you not to leave town. I didn’t tell you to come hang out with my girlfriend without me," 

"Baby, this is not the time,” you hushed, trying to defuse the situation. You should’ve known John shouldn’t have been here. It was odd that Dean would want him to hang around here without him. But you were glad he was there after your breakdown yesterday. Remembering the photo and John’s comments about ex girlfriends you suddenly felt pissed off again. Ok, so he darted off to save his brother, that didn’t mean he was off the hook, he could still very well be cheating with that brunette slut in the photo. You could feel the jealousy bubble. 

“Let me know when Sammy’s up to talking,” John sighed and collected his things before he left. 

“Such an asshole,” Dean muttered. 

“Lay off him Dean, he was nice to me. You left without saying a word, when we were in the middle of something, I was worried sick!" 

"I think Sam is more important than getting a blowjob off you,” Dean snapped. 

“Oh really?” You crossed your arms over your chest. “So that’s how it’s gonna be now he’s around yeah?”

“Beth, you know that’s not what I meant, his girlfriend fucking died,” Dean glared. 

“I know that, Dean, god I get it I’m just saying all you had to do is tell me what the fuck was going on before you left, or at least answer your phone and let me know you were ok,” Dean huffed, clearly realising he was in the wrong. He grabbed your face and kissed you hard again, this one just as harrowing as before. 

“All I could think about was coming home to you,” Dean mumbled against your lips, his hands rough and greedy on your body as they settled on your chest. 

“Dean, stop, not now,” you tried to break away but he was in his own world, his lips on your neck, his hands squeezing and pulling on you. “Dean, no, Sam is in there…what if he saw? What if he heard us?” You weren’t in the mood. There was so much crap going on in your head. The whole John situation, kissing him last night, Dean and his potential affair, was this because he felt guilty? Then there was the newest Winchester and the fact his girlfriend had just died, sending your boyfriend driving god knows where to rescue him. If there was ever a time to not have sex with your boyfriend, this was it. 

“Didn’t bother you before,” he reminded you, clearly referring to the night John stayed. But that was so different. 

“Stop! Sam’s just lost his girlfriend, he doesn’t want to…” But your words died in your mouth as Dean turned you around in his arms, pressing you against the breakfast bar as the sharp edge dug into your ribs just below your breasts. "Dean, I said no, stop…“ You tried to be more assertive. His hands tugging on the shorts you were still wearing from last night, pulling them down to below your ass. 

"I need you, baby, I don’t want to lose you that way, I never want to lose you,” he growled in your ear, the warmth of his body pressed against yours. You couldn’t help the arousal take over you, letting his words take their affect. “I’m sorry baby,” you could feel him moving behind you, feeling his hot flesh press against your back. You instinctively parted your legs further, pushing your hips back to meet his. Your fingers gripped at the ledge that was still digging into you painfully, your bottom lip drawing into your mouth as you bit down on it. As much as you didn’t want to, as angry as you were with him, you needed it too. Your own guilty conscience about your kiss with John coming into play. Dean hesitated, almost like he was waiting for your approval, you had said no and stop several times already, so you figured he needed to hear it. 

“Do it, Dean,” you gasped. Within seconds he was fully inside you, he let out a low, deep growl, biting down on your shoulder he thrust hard over and over and over, grunting as your skin met with a smack each time. Just as he started to hit your sweet spot he stopped, stilling inside you. You waited a moment, wondering if maybe he’d heard Sam getting out the shower or something. He withdrew from you completely and you heard his jeans zip do up. Turning around you saw he was fully dressed again. “That’s it?” You couldn’t help but ask, not even thinking that it might insult him. But you didn’t care really, he barely made you feel good for a second. 

“Sam could be out any second,” he told you, “I finished. Sort yourself out,” you felt paralysed as you watched him walk around the bar into the kitchen as he started making himself some coffee.  _He_ finished? Oh great for him. You pulled your shorts back up and smoothed down your hair just in time for Sam to step out of the bedroom. “Sammy! How about something to eat?” Dean smiled at his brother. You felt so disgusting and used. He didn’t give a shit about you right then, he only had his own interests in mind, clearly. You stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door shut so you could wash him off you. You felt the tears threatening your eyes again but you refused to let them out. 

Whilst you waited for the shower to warm up, you took deep breaths. You were telling yourself that he had a lot on his mind. Sam with his girlfriend, John sticking around, hell he was probably struggling to keep an affair going too. Not that the affair was an excuse. You wanted to bring up the photo so badly, but it wasn’t the time or place, it wouldn’t be fair on Sam at all. He needed Dean’s full attention right now, he needed a Dean that was focused and didn’t have his own crap to deal with. And Dean needed Sam. That was obvious from the way he had fled to his side. You wanted Dean to have a good relationship with his family. Once everything had settled down, you’d bring it up. And until then you were going to keep a close eye. 

  
*  
  


Sam glanced down at you as you walked him to your apartment. The conversation had been a little awkward because you’d barely said two words to the guy, afraid of saying or asking anything to upset him in his fragile state. 

“I’m really glad Dean found you,” he spoke up. 

“Yeah?” You blushed. 

“I’m glad he found a life that wasn’t dad’s. And I think you ground him a bit,” he told you. He towered above you, a clear foot taller, a little more John’s height than Dean was. Sam was much different to Dean. More like John looks wise, the same hazel eyes. His hair was much longer than Dean’s, more skater boy style as it flopped to the side. He seemed more sensible than Dean, less hot headed, more tactful, like he had a life plan written down somewhere. A plan that was probably ruined now thanks to the cruel twist of fate. You wanted to say you were sorry but didn’t want to bring it up in case he had put it to the back of his mind for a moment.   
  


You pointed out the best places to get food and the hotel where you worked and John was staying as you passed them on your way. You reached the apartment block and climbed the stairs to the third floor. Sam didn’t really say much else to you and the walk to your front door was quiet. 

“I’m sorry it’s not much,” you blushed, your old place seeming very small and cold compared to Dean’s apartment. 

“No, honestly it’s perfect. Thank you,” Sam smiled down at you. You smiled back. 

“Well it makes sense, I was going to hand in my notice but whilst you need somewhere, it’s yours for as long as you like,” you handed him the one key. “If you don’t mind I’ll keep the spare key whilst some of my stuff is still here, I’ll let you know when I’m coming by though.” Sam nodded, 

“Of course.”  

“Do you know your way back to Dean’s apartment? Can I leave you to settle in? Only I’ve got to go to work,” you blushed. 

“Yeah, no I’ll be fine. Thanks again Beth,” Sam smiled.   
  


*  
  


You were cleaning glasses when John walked into the bar, half an hour before your shift ended and the night staff took over. 

“How is he?” You asked, setting down a glass where he sat in front of you and poured him a measure of whiskey. 

“He’ll live.” John huffed. 

“I think that’s the problem,” you said sadly. John shrugged a shoulder and shot his drink. You poured him another and leaned on your elbows on the bar top. You started picking at your nails as you kept thinking about this morning, the way Dean treated you, like something to just get him off. 

“Are  _you_  ok?” John asked. You took a deep breath and stood upright. 

“Fine, just worried about Sam.” You shrugged trying to brush it off. 

“You barely know the kid.” John sounded skeptical. You sighed and looked at your nails again. 

“Still feel sorry for him.”

“What’s really going on?” You watched as John poured his own drink from the bottle you’d left in front of him. You looked around the almost empty bar and grabbed a glass, motioning for him to pour you one too. You shot it back. 

“It’s nothing. Nothing compared to what Sam is going through, really it’s stupid,” you blushed. 

“Well he’s not here right now and you are, so tell me.” John commanded softly. 

“Honestly, it’s nothing.” You tried to laugh him off, force yourself into a better mood, but it wasn’t going to happen. 

“Try me,” his hazel eyes stared at you. 

“Honestly, John, you don’t want to know,” you shook your head. 

“ _Try me,_ ” he repeated. You took a deep breath. He wasn’t going to stop if you didn’t give him what he wanted. 

“This morning Dean and I…” You had no idea how to word your problem with Dean to his dad of all people. “…well we, you know,” you blushed hoping you didn’t have to really say much more, you watched John’s grasp tighten on his drink, a wave of jealousy on his handsome face. “I didn’t…finish…” You cleared your throat as you poured yourself another drink and shot it back, not daring to look him in the eye after that. You heard John let out a chuckle. 

“Oh sweetheart, did I spoil you? You know it won’t happen every time right?” You glared at him.

“Why shouldn’t it? It happens every time for you men,” you snapped. “Anyway, that’s not what bothered me about it, in the past when I haven’t it’s… whatever, but at least they  _try_ to get me off. This morning it’s like he didn’t even care it was me. I could’ve been a freaking sex doll,” you were wound up and you probably said more than you needed to. John seemed to relax a little, taking a sip of his drink before he spoke up. 

“Yeah, ok, that’s a problem,” he agreed, “he doesn’t get to treat you like that." 

"It’s fine, he’s got a lot on his mind right now, and with Sam losing Jessica I think he just freaked out. It’ll be ok.” You were trying to convince yourself more than John. 

“Maybe, but he can only cash that excuse in once,” John told you, a serious look on his face, “if that happens again, you bring hell fire down on him, baby girl." 


	8. Hungry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desperate for some kind of release, you decide to take matters into your own hands.

Biting down on your bottom lip, you lightly brushed your fingers down Dean's body, from the centre of his chest down the middle of his six pack to the top of his boxer shorts. Your fingertips danced along the edge, pushing underneath slowly. Dean disturbed, turning his head to face you, eyes still closed. He grumbled as his plump lips parted slightly. 

"What are you doing?" He mumbled out sleepily. 

"Giving you a good start to your day," you smirked, your fingers finding his member. 

 

It had been three weeks since Dean had brought Sam home. He'd been busy a lot with Sam, barely home. And when he was home he was distant and distracted. There were only ever certain days you could really spend time together, thanks to both your jobs, but now those days were spent with Sam, and when he got home, he was too tired for you and usually went straight to bed. You knew you couldn't say anything, Sam was still getting over Jessica and Dean was busting his ass to make sure he was ok and felt at home at your apartment. 

 

He would spend all his free time there; at least that's where he told you he was. The thought that he was having an affair was still very much in your mind. He could've easily been going somewhere else, seeing someone else. You barely knew Sam, maybe he was covering for him. Something was off, you just knew it. Before Sam, Dean could barely keep his hands off you. It seemed like every spare moment you had together was spent all over each other. You weren't naïve, you knew that once the honeymoon period wore off, sex became less frequent, but it was like Dean didn't even want to touch you anymore. When you did have sex, it wasn't much different to the day Sam arrived. Quick, and barely any consideration for you. In fact, you hadn't even had an orgasm in weeks. Which was why you'd taken matters into your own hands. Almost literally. This time, you were determined to get off. 

 

You started to jerk your hand back and forth, but there wasn't much progress. Your eyes flickered to Dean's face as his eyes remained closed. Slowly his hand reached and gripped your wrist. 

"Don't," he grumbled, pulling your hand out of his shorts. 

"Oh come on, it's been a while since we had proper fun...I want you, baby," you started to kiss his neck, your hand going back into his boxers. 

"Y/N, stop," he grunted. You sat up and stared down at him. 

"Ok, what the hell is going on with you at the moment?" You spat. Dean blinked his eyes open and glared at you for a moment before huffing and turning over. "Nuh huh, we are talking about this, Dean." You snapped, tugging his shoulder until he was laying on his back again. He sighed and sat up slightly. "So what is it then?" you prompted.

"I don't even know what you're on about." Dean huffed. 

"This...ever since Sam arrived you've been totally distant, we're not even intimate anymore. It used to be your favourite thing to do, we spent whole weekends in this bed, and now it's like you don't even want to look at me! If you don't want to be with me anymore, if you've gone off me, just say and I'll leave. Or is that inconvenient for you because I'll need my apartment back?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Dean frowned. 

"Well how am I meant to be Dean? The only time you ever fuck me anymore is to get yourself off." Your voice raising the more you spoke.

"That's kinda the point, sweetheart,"

"Oh and I guess I don't matter then? Don't care about me getting off? As long as Dean gets to cum, huh?" You got up out of bed, so angry you needed to pace. "You know, Dean, there was a time when getting me off was the most important thing to you, before even thinking about yourself. But now it's like you're doing a chore. And that's when you even want to do it at all, which is rare. So what? I was just something to occupy you? And now Sam is back you don't need me anymore?"

"You're being so self centred right now. I mean, can you even hear yourself? It's not all about you. Maybe you're just jealous that you have to share my attention with someone else now, but in case you've forgotten, Sam just lost his girlfriend, he's not okay, and I'm his big brother, I'm the only person he's got to help him." Dean climbed out of bed himself now.

"He's got your Dad," you crossed your arms over your chest.

"That son of a bitch? He's never been around. It's always been me, and it always fucking will be." His green eyes darkened. He grabbed his jeans off the floor and pulled them on. 

"I can't believe you think I'm being selfish when all I'm asking is that my own fucking boyfriend actually cares about me. And god forbid I want a freaking orgasm from time to time!" Tears pricked your eyes. 

"Of course I fucking care about you, but giving you an orgasm is kinda fucking low on my list of priorities," he snapped, his tshirt in his hand as he waved it around.

"Oh but you're allowed to get off right? Are you even attracted to me anymore?" 

"This is just stupid," Dean shouted, "of course I am."

"I don't feel like you are! Is there someone else?" You asked now. Dean didn't answer you, just pulled his tshirt on. He shook his head at you, not to answer your question, but like he couldn't believe you'd even ask him that. "Well, is there?" you prompted.

"No, ok? There isn't. I've got to go to work." He stormed out of the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

 

You drew a shaky breath as you stared at the now closed door and wiped your cheeks quickly. Every muscle in your body was tense. You were angry, hurt, upset...jealous even. You and Dean had never argued before Sam, and since he'd arrived it was all you had done. He'd changed everything. You loved Dean, but you couldn't continue living like this. You were willing to give it time, for Sam to heal, to not need Dean so much, for Dean to take a step back and have time for you again, but it was hard. You didn't have anyone else but him. You felt pathetic waiting around for him every night. You wanted to walk away, be happy on your own again, but you doubted you ever would be after knowing Dean. Taking some more deep breaths you made your way to the bathroom, running the shower. Ok, so your argument didn't exactly go well, but you hoped now Dean knew how you felt, he'd at least make an effort to try and be more present when he was with you, make you feel like he wanted you there at least. 

You stripped yourself off and stepped under the hot water, closing your eyes and soaking in the warmth. You could feel the stress wash away, getting it off your chest definitely helped, even if Dean did storm out and didn't want to actually fix anything. 

 

You took your time washing yourself, indulging in the quiet. Despite having a lot of time to yourself recently, it had been rare you actually did something for you. Before Dean, you didn't need anyone or anything to make you happy. You did perfectly well by yourself, hell you'd gone over twenty years without a single guy giving you an orgasm, and you'd done just fine. But thanks to John and that ridiculous weekend, that had been ruined somewhat. You weren't even sure doing it yourself would hit the right spot anymore, not that you had tried. Maybe you deserved to unwind completely. You were going to be home alone for the rest of the day. 

 

Stepping out of the shower you dried yourself slowly, running a second towel through your hair until it was only damp. You stepped back into the bedroom and sat on your side of the bed as you grabbed your moisturiser and started to work it into your skin. Your arms first, followed by your tummy, and lastly your legs. You rubbed in small circles, giving your muscles somewhat of a massage as you worked in the cream. You worked your way up your leg, to your thigh, outside first, then towards the inside. Leaning back on your pillows you spread your legs and continued to work your hand higher and higher until you found your centre. Your top teeth sunk into your bottom lip as you tilted your head back, your one hand starting to slowly work on your bundle of nerves, the other reaching to twist one of your nipples. A soft moan left your lips as you touched yourself, just the right pressure, just the right speed. Nothing was better than this. You knew exactly what you wanted, when you wanted. Dean was good, sure, but he'd never match this. Not even John could match this. Just the thought of him caused you to press harder, circle that little bit faster, remembering his hands on you, his long thick fingers dipping into your wet folds, inside you and back out, the slickness of his digits helping as he worked your clit. His face buried in your neck, biting on the skin, your own hands busy working his entire length, tip to base as he got harder and harder beneath your grasp. No one had ever touched you like that before, enough to make you gasp and moan beneath him. You couldn't believe your luck when you'd felt that first orgasm build inside you, your brain screaming as it reminded you you'd only reached foreplay. Your whole body shook in anticipation thinking about how many more times he'd make you feel that way before the night was over. 

 

"Fuck, John," you gasped, remembering the feeling of him sinking into you, his thrusts slow and purposeful to begin with, stretching you to your limits, your walls so tight around him he couldn't go harder if he wanted to. He had to work for it, slowly, as you adapted to him. It didn't take long until he could thrust every inch inside, hard and fast over and over. Your second orgasm building inside you, legs shaking around his waist, breath hitching as you spluttered out his name over and over, like it was the only thing you could actually remember. 

 _"Fuck, sweetheart,"_ his words echoed around inside your head. You don't think you'd ever forget the way he sounded, the gasps and groans that left his lips. The words he mumbled to you over and over. 

 

You let your mind wander to Dean, the night you met him, the way you were both so hungry and desperate, foreplay was skipped altogether. The way he felt inside you for the first time, how he told you how good you felt to him too. The shock that came with the orgasm he gave you, having been only the second man to ever achieve such a thing. How in that moment, for a split second, you knew you'd never get tired of that feeling, or of the sight of him on top of you. 

 

Your breathing was heavy now, your fingers that were giving your nipple attention headed south as you sunk two inside your hot wet centre. Your eyes were still closed, fixated on the image of Dean above you, flickering to John now and then as you alternated between the two Winchesters, your climax edging closer and closer. But this was your fantasy, why torture yourself trying to choose when you could just have both? You imagined Dean between your legs, John at your head, both men staring down at you intently. Both filling you up perfectly. Your moans muffled around John as Dean thrust hard over and over, John's large hand snaking down your body to rub your clit exactly as you were doing right then. Dean able to focus on nothing else but fucking you relentlessly.

"Oh fuck..." you gasped again, not worried about being vocal, your fantasy feeling too real. "Dean..." you grumbled, "John...." Just as you felt your stomach tighten, your toes curl, your walls clench around your fingers, your eyes fluttered open, breaking the illusion to see John stood in your doorway.

"FUCK, JOHN!" You screamed, your hands leaving your body quickly, grabbing the covers to pull them over yourself.

"I didn't really....I heard my name, I thought you were...I'm sorry," He was flustered, which was a first for him. You expected some flirty one liner, but you could see the blush on his cheeks, like he was actually embarrassed to have found you like that, it was kinda cute, actually. But all you could think about was the embarrassment you felt. God, you wanted to die. You weren't sure how much he'd heard, but you'd just been moaning not only his name, but his son's too. You were definitely going to hell.

"God you almost gave me a heart attack,"  you panted. 

"I'm sorry, I left some stuff here the other day...I didn't know you'd be..." He didn't finish his sentence. You cleared your throat and brushed your hair out of your face.

"It's fine, John...you've seen it all before. Don't worry about it." You could feel your cheeks burn. It was true, he had seen it all before, but being caught masturbating was still humiliating. Being caught masturbating to the thought of your boyfriend and his Dad...You groaned out loud in embarrassment. 

"I won't tell Dean." He concluded. You nodded, hoping it was a given really. "You can carry on, I'm leaving," he told you, a smirk slowly working its way to his lips. You were wondering when the real John would show up. "Desperate times call for desperate measures, huh?" He teased, clearly remembering your conversation from the other week. You hid your face in your hands.

"Bye, John," you called out from behind them.

"Bye, sweetheart, have fun." He chirped. 

 

It had been a few minutes and you were still just sat in bed naked, mortified by what had happened. You kept telling yourself that he'd seen you like that, and probably even more intimately still, before. He probably didn't hear you moan Dean's name too, at least you hoped not. And masturbation was a perfectly natural thing to do. Nothing to be ashamed of. God, were you ever going to get a freaking orgasm?! Your phone buzzed next to you, snapping you out of your thoughts as you picked it up to see a message off John. You sighed, dreading to think what it might say. 

 

_Don't forget to eat, I know how hungry you get after getting off._

 

You rolled your eyes at the screen. Of course he would say something like that. 

 

_Yeah well thanks to you it didn't happen._

 

You weren't going to reply but fuck it. You hit send. You were frustrated, not just sexually, but you were annoyed in general too. Mainly at Dean, but he wasn't there to take it out on right then. 

 

_Oh I don't know sweetheart. It sounded to me like I was really helping you out_

 

What a bastard. You weren't going to reply anymore. Seeing the flirting written down like that made it more real and it was wrong. Even if you were upset with Dean, even if John would've been an easy fix. It wasn't right. You needed to work on your relationship with your boyfriend, not his father. You deleted the messages, and put your phone down. He was right though, you were hungry

 

 


	9. Ruined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You buy something special for Dean, but he's not the one that appreciates it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come follow me on tumblr! negans-lucille-tblr :D

Dean didn't speak to you when he arrived home late that night. It was gone 10pm, and you knew he'd obviously been with Sam after work. He had climbed into bed next to you, kissed your shoulder and turned over to go to sleep. You'd spent most of the night staring at him sleeping, trying to figure out if he was telling you the truth about there not being someone else. You'd never noticed any make up on his clothes, no lipstick marks on his skin, he didn't smell like perfume and there weren't any of the other usual affair signs. All except him staying out late, being distant when he was around. And then there was the photo. The one of him and that girl. Why would he keep a photo like that? 

 

Your brain was working overtime, you couldn't have slept if you wanted to. Luckily, you didn't have work for a few days. You were exhausted. It was around 8am when Dean woke up. He went straight into the bathroom and you heard the shower running. You wanted to bring up the photo, get it off your chest, but you'd already laid enough on him yesterday, and with everything going on with Sam, it wasn't fair, you knew that. Dean didn't shower for long, he came back into the bedroom with just a towel around his waist. Your pent up frustration only made him look that much sexier, despite the fact you were still pissed off with him. But that's what rough sex is for. Ha, you wished. Just the thought made you roll your eyes to yourself.  

"How was your night with Sam?" You asked, your peace offering, if you will. You'd extended the olive branch, now he just needed to take it. Even though the stubborn part of you was adamant that you had done absolutely nothing wrong. 

"Fine," he grumbled, rummaging through his wardrobe for clothes. 

"What did you get up to you?" 

"Why do you suddenly care? Trying to catch me out, in case I was with some other girl?" He somewhat snapped. You took a deep breath, trying not to get into another argument with him. 

"No...I was just genuinely wondering, but I don't want to start an argument so just forget I asked." You mumbled. Dean didn't say anything, just started to get dressed. His green eyes glanced over at you for a moment and he sighed.

"We're going out for a meal tonight," he told you.

"We are?" You wondered if was his way of apologising for everything with Sam. Were you finally getting some quality time with him by yourself?

"Yeah, me and Dad decided taking Sam out might help." The disappointment was probably riddled on your face, and you couldn't hide it if you tried. 

"Ok, cool." You tried to keep the bitterness out of your voice at least. Dean didn't seem to notice. He grabbed his wallet off the dresser and rummaged through it, passing you one of his credit cards.

"Treat yourself. Get a nice dress or whatever for later." You took the card from him slowly.

"Is this your way of making it all up to me?" Dean's cheek twitched slightly like he was biting his tongue. You knew he'd think he didn't need to make it up to you. He was stubborn just like you. 

"Sure," he shrugged. He leaned down and kissed you softly, "I love you." He whispered. You reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck. You kissed him again, trying to deepen it as you pulled him closer. "Babe, I've got to go to work. I'm sorry...but later." He smiled and kissed your forehead. "Have fun shopping."  You smiled as he left. Even though you hadn't gotten what you wanted, he'd promised you would. You could hardly wait for the meal to be over so you could finally get some time with him. You were really going to make the effort tonight. Buy a really nice dress, and maybe some fancy new underwear to surprise him with too. You were determined to get your relationship back on track. Okay, it may never be where it used to, when you couldn't keep your hands to yourself, but you wanted to feel appreciated, you wanted to feel sexy again. He used to be so good at doing that. 

 

*

 

Your fingers brushed over the lace as you pulled on the g-string that was stupidly being displayed on a hanger. It looked uncomfortable, but the sexiest ones always were. You wanted something that would make Dean stammer his words and get flustered. You wanted to have that affect on him again. You wanted to remind him what he's been missing, make the idea of staying home some nights much more appealing. There were so many different types and styles you had no idea what to go for. The dress you had bought in the shop before was very tight and fitted, so you needed something that wouldn't give you a panty line. That meant shorts were definitely out of the question. Thongs and g-strings left to pick from. You cringed at the ones bedazzled in jewels, nothing screamed tacky like shitty sparkles. Hearts were second worse. You wanted classy, not teenager trying to be grown up. Lace was a definite favourite of Dean's and you knew he liked black and teal from past experiences. 

"Y/N?" The voice sent shivers down your spine as you turned around to see John approaching. Yesterday came flooding back to you as you felt your cheeks burn. Well, at least you were getting the awkward first time seeing him after  _that_ out of the way before tonight's meal. His hazel eyes glanced to the lingerie hanging up next to you as a smirk danced along his lips. "Retail therapy, huh?" He asked.

"What do you want, John?" You asked abruptly.

"Nothing, just passing and noticed you." He shrugged. He looked at the lingerie again. "You know that number you had on when I showed up here was certainly something, just wear that again." He suggested. You rolled your eyes at him. Re-wearing old lingerie was not going to grab your boyfriend's attention.  

"I'm just treating myself," you told him, continuing to look through the racks.

"You certainly deserve it with the amount of time Dean spends with Sam nowadays," John agreed. You didn't want to have this conversation with him, not now, or ever for that matter. Your relationship with Dean wasn't his business. Not when Dean was his son, especially considering your history. "You had to bring down hellfire yet?" He asked.

"Why do you think I'm here?" You muttered, almost hoping he hadn't heard you. You tried to ignore him, and held up some panties in front of you. 

"Well then, darling, if it's attention you're after, you don't want those," John spoke up. He reached for a different pair, black with lace scalloped edging that wrapped around to a thong back. "Now this...this is the one you want." He smirked. "Damn what I wouldn't give to see that on you." His hazel eyes sparkled as your core tightened slightly. You shook your head at him, trying to ignore the flattery. A different blush stained your cheeks now. But it didn't matter what John thought, it wasn't for him. It was for Dean. But as you looked at them, you knew Dean would in fact love them. Three guesses where his taste in lingerie came from. Those two were more alike than they realised, it actually made you feel a little uneasy. 

"This is extremely inappropriate, John, you should go." You told him. He shrugged a shoulder and hung the panties back in their place.

"Ok, sweetheart, I guess I'll see you at the meal." He smirked at you one last time before he slinked out of the shop, leaving you alone again. You bit down on your bottom lip and approached John's suggestion. You did want to feel sexy, and the thought of someone thinking you'd look good in them was enough to make you want to wear them. It was part of an entire set. Bra, suspenders and stockings that all matched. It would work well with your dress. It was decided, this was the set you'd go for.

 

*

 

You'd gotten dressed whilst Dean was in the shower, washing off the grease and dirt that came with being a mechanic before your dinner. What was under your dress was going to be a complete surprise.  He came out of the bathroom in dark jeans, buttoning up his shirt. His green eyes scanned you and you blushed. He hadn't looked at you like that in a while. You felt goosebumps erupt over your skin as you soaked up the very little attention he was giving you. 

"You look nice," He smiled, moving to the mirror to sort out his hair.

"You too." You smiled and grabbed the tie he'd laid out on the bed, making your way over to him as you wrapped it around his neck. He turned to face you as you started to tie it. "If you like the dress, wait until you see what's underneath. You might want to skip dessert," you teased. A small smirk spread across his lips before he kissed you. 

"Sounds good. But just remember this meal is about Sam, I don't want to rub our relationship in his face." He told you seriously. Well there goes the arousal. You wanted to be mad, but Dean had a point. You pulled his tie tight and just nodded your understanding. "So PG for now, but I promise later it'll be X rated." His hand snakes around and palms your ass cheek. The arousal returns instantly, your body so desperate and needy for the attention, you're pretty sure someone accidentally elbowing your breast would get you going by this point. 

"Promise, huh?" You bit down on your bottom lip. God this was going to feel like the longest meal in the history of meals. "I guess I can be a good girl." You agreed. You kissed him softly. Dean smiled at you, his green eyes scanning you one last time.

"Ok, let's go." 

 

*

 

The meal was pleasant. The restaurant was dimly lit, fancy table cloths and cutlery. Sparkly wine glasses. Dean had managed to lower the tone of the place somewhat by ordering a bottle of beer, most other tables sipping champagne on ice. John had stuck to his usual whiskey. Sam ended up choosing a beer too, thanks to Dean. You could've sworn the waiter was about to die when you'd placed your drinks orders. Beer, he was gonna have to really rummage for that in a place like this. And then when Dean told him to leave it in the bottle, the poor older man almost had a heart attack. The Winchesters didn't belong in a place like this. But apparently, cheering up Sam was expensive business, not that he seemed like he really appreciated it. Although the odds of him knowing this whole thing was for his benefit were slim. You stayed quiet, politely sipping your wine. 

"So, Y/N, how long have you worked at the bar?" Sam asked from opposite you. 

"Oh, forever, well feels like that. Been there since college. It was meant to be a temporary thing, but ten years on and I'm still there," you blushed. 

"Dad, didn't you stay there before when you were visiting?" Dean piped up to your right.

"Oh, yeah, a couple times." John shrugged it off nonchalantly on the other side of you. You could feel your heart beat harder, your mouth dry. You needed more wine for this conversation. You already knew where it was heading. 

"Didn't you ever serve him?" Dean turned to you now. You could lie completely and say no, but that wasn't realistic. You would've seen him at least once before as you worked there five out of seven days of the week and John had stayed there a few times and was always partial to a nightcap.

"You know what, probably," you agreed, turning to John as you forced a smile to your face. John gave you a look that seemed to ask what you were playing at, as he took a swig of his drink. "I mean, I've served hundreds, if not thousands of people, so I don't remember everyone." You shrugged. Wine, you needed more wine. You flagged down a waiter, ordering an entire bottle. It was going to be one of those nights. Dean ordered another beer whilst the waiter was there. You'd hoped the conversation would move on now, but Sam piped up again.

"You never forget a face, Dad. Do you remember her?" Your eyes shot to John as your brain cursed Sam. John took another sip of his drink as he cleared his throat.

"Maybe. I'd have had a drink by that point, Sammy. Hard to recall." 

"So, Sam, do you think you'll be returning to college?" You were so desperate to change the subject, you didn't think for a second about the insensitivity of your question. The table fell silent.

"Urm, no probably not." He flashed you a friendly smile. God, you felt terrible. Wine would fix it. The conversation moved on, thanks to Dean as he started to reminisce with Sam. John barely joining in, and you knew he had no idea what they were on about, considering he was never around. His hazel eyes kept scanning you, his tongue subtly coming out to lick his bottom lip. As much as you loved the attention, you wished it was Dean's. You couldn't let John get you aroused. You felt John's knee bump yours as he started to rub it slightly. You tried to ignore it, pretend that nothing was happening. You reached under the table, your hand landing on Dean's thigh, wanting him to hold your hand or something, take your mind off John and his advances, and hopefully if John saw Dean give you some affection, he'd remember what he was doing was wrong. Dean's hand found yours and squeezed it for a moment before he picked it up and placed it on your own lap. He didn't even look at you whilst he did it, deep in conversation with Sam. 

 

Your attention turned to John as you gripped his thigh under the table, in a different manner to how you'd just gripped Dean's. You tried to stop his leg from rubbing yours. Like Dean, he reached down and his large hand covered yours, his fingers curling under your palm. His thumb brushing the back of your hand before it slowly slid to your lap, resting on the bare skin between your stockings and your dress hem, which was pretty high up your thigh. The gesture sent electric shocks through your body as goosebumps erupted beneath his touch. You grabbed his hand and pushed it off you. You hated the way your body responded to him. You took another sip of wine and smiled as Dean and Sam started laughing together, making a half assed attempt to join in their conversation. 

 

You'd drank so much wine in an attempt to feel less awkward, your head started to buzz and you started to miss John's advances. He hadn't tried anything else since you'd pushed his hand away. But now you were needy, you wanted attention, and now  _anyone_  would do. Hell, Sam would do right now. You've already had two out of three, why not make it the whole set? You giggled to yourself, you were a whore and now you were paying the price for it. Dean was speaking considerably louder than usual, which meant he was drunk too. Great. Drunk messy sex was the best. You wanted him, right there and then. Your body was ready, it had been for weeks, practically screaming at you. Your new panties were getting wet, you squeezed your legs together instinctively for a moment. You know you'd agreed on PG, but you needed him now. You leaned over to Dean, your mouth pressed to his ear.

"Are you ready to leave?" You asked, hoping to prompt him. "You've got a promise to fulfill," You reminded him. Dean's eyes fell on you for the first time in a while that night. 

"Ok, I think this one's had a bit too much to drink. Come on, sweetheart, let's get you home." Dean stood up. You glared at him. Why would he say that? Ok, so you had had a bit too much, but he didn't have to be a dick about it, blame you for cutting your ridiculously exclusive night short. But he was pretty drunk himself. Dickhead Dean loved making an appearance when he was drunk. You stood up and kissed Sam's cheek, saying goodbye to him. 

"Get back safely," he told you both, rising to his own feet. You giggled, he was so sensible and mature, and so  _tall,_ anyone would think he was the older brother. John rose to his feet in front of you. 

"I'll see you soon, sweetheart," he smirked down at you, Sam and Dean wrapped up in their own goodbye. He reached down and kissed your cheek softly. 

"If Dean doesn't appreciate your effort, I sure will." He drawled into your ear. You gulped. The hairs on the back of your neck standing up. He raised a thrill in you that Dean never could. It was the appeal of something you couldn't have. The excitement of knowing it was wrong. 

"Goodnight, John," you whispered, Dean pulling you away now. Surely the intimate position he'd caught you in with his Dad was enough to raise suspicion but he clearly hadn't noticed at all. It just went to show how much attention he actually gave you recently. 

 

You walked back to the apartment in silence, Dean's arm around your waist the whole way. He'd been kind enough to give you his jacket to keep you warm. As soon as you'd got inside, Dean walked you back into the wall, his lips crushing yours. You shrugged his jacket to the floor and started to unbutton his shirt. Dean hitched your dress up to your waist. 

"God I've been looking forward to this all meal," You gasped happily. Dean didn't smile or even smirk,

"Yeah well I did promise." He grunted, his face in your neck, his hands squeezing the balled up fabric of your dress. 

"You want to though, right?" You checked. Dean didn't respond, just turned you around so you were facing the wall. He groaned against your shoulder, his teeth coming out to bite the bone. You gasped loudly, your fingers trying to grip the smooth wall. You felt him move your expensive new panties to one side and enter you quickly. It was all too reminiscent of all the times before when his only goal was getting himself off. 

"Dean, wait..." You spluttered, trying to push yourself back a bit so he was at least hitting the right spot. He swayed on his feet and you realised he was far too drunk to listen to you. You grunted frustrated and brought your hand to between your legs. You were determined to get off this time, even if you did have to do it yourself. You started to rub your clit, rough, hard circles. Your attention completely on the build of your climax. Dean was still thrusting hard and fast behind you. He started grunting and groaning and you knew he was already close. You needed to speed things up for yourself or you had no chance of getting that climax. Your mind wandered to John's hand on your thigh earlier that night and you wondered how far he would've taken it if you hadn't had stopped him. How far would he take all of it if you didn't stop it every time? Would he really let you cheat on his son? Did he really find you that irresistible? Were you really that appealing to him? 

 

Dean snapped you out of your thoughts as he stilled inside you. Oh, fucking great. You dropped your hand, no point trying to get off now. As he pulled out he kissed the back of your shoulder.

"Coming to bed?" he panted. You looked over your shoulder at him,

"Yeah give me a minute." There was no point being pissed off with him. He was drunk for starters. You readjusted yourself and walked to the kitchen to pour yourself one more glass of wine before bed. You downed it pretty quickly and made your way into the bedroom to see Dean was already crashed, flat out. You emptied your purse, putting your lipstick and perfume back in their places. Grabbing your phone you headed to the bathroom to see a message from John.

 

_I can't stop wondering which set you decided to buy in the end_

 

For a moment you got annoyed as you remembered the money you'd spent on the uncomfortable sexy underwear that you'd worn purely for Dean's benefit, that he'd just ignored and soiled before he fucked off to bed. You'd even mentioned them earlier on, and he still didn't take any notice. Completely wasted. Or were they? Staring down at your phone you bit down on your bottom lip. It was simple. If you wanted attention, you had someone right there, ready to give you as much as you wanted. You stumbled on your heels a little, reminding yourself how much you'd had to drink. But you didn't want to overthink this.

 

_I went with your suggestion ;)_

 

You bit your bottom lip and waited on baited breath for his response. 

 

_Damn, sweetheart, there's not much I wouldn't do to see that_

 

A huge thrill raised in you, if you panties weren't already ruined they would be now. He always did make you feel incredibly good about yourself. 

 

_Oh really? If only there was a way I could show you...._

 

A huge smile spread over your lips, your body rejoicing in the attention you were getting from him. 

 

_Such a fucking tease, sweetheart..._

 

You giggled, possibly a little too loudly. You unzipped your dress and stepped out of it once it had fallen to the floor. You walked over to the wall length mirror and loaded the camera on your phone. You felt hot and sexy, thanks to John. Each picture you snapped only reinforced that. You sent the best photo you'd taken before you could think too hard about it. It didn't take long for him to send his reply.

 

_Damn_

 

Damn. That was it. God you could only imagine his face. You wondered if the photo would  _affect_  him. Just the thought made you tingle. 

 

_Well I'm glad you appreciate it_

 

Seems like it wasn't a waste of money after all. 

 

_Darling, Dean is a fucking idiot. If I was him, you and that little number of yours would be ruined by now_

 

You didn't even feel guilty that you wished he was. 

 

 


	10. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to John to convince him to delete the evidence of the night before doesn't quite go to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've written four chapters ahead of this and I'm so excited for you to read what's coming!!

You were woken up rudely, to the front door slamming closed so loudly you’re surprised it didn’t break off its hinges. When you grumbled and turned over you noticed Dean wasn’t in bed. You realised he’d obviously just left for work, as your hangover threatened to ruin your day. You had work yourself later on, so any chance of sleep you could get you were going to take. Drinking so much wine on a work night wasn’t usually your thing, but when you remembered the meal, the reason you’d indulged became apparent. Dean and Sam’s questions about John, if you knew him from before. It was all dancing very close to the truth and you were not comfortable with it. You remembered the feeling of John’s hand on your thigh so vividly it was like it was still there. The pressure and heat on that part of your skin ever-present. Just like the feeling of his lips on yours. 

Your mind combed through the memories of the meal, the things you’d talked about, the way Dean had whisked you away blaming you being drunk, when he himself was hardly sober. You clenched your teeth in anger, you hadn’t even called him up on that. Not really. Your thoughts flickered to the intimacy of your goodbye with John. Dean obviously had barely noticed, but Sam must have seen something. You hoped not. The silence the whole walk home was deafening. You’d felt you’d annoyed Dean, cutting his night short by being an embarrassment, when really all you wanted was just a little of the time he was pouring into his brother. The way he’d given you what you wanted like it was a chore, and even then you didn’t really get  _everything_  you wanted. You remembered how annoyed you were, storming into the bathroom, and talking to…fuck. 

 

You sat up quickly, finding your phone as you found your message thread with John and reread it. The guilt hit you like a fist to the gut. That wasn’t banter, it wasn’t even playful flirting, it was full on, hardcore, flirting; sexting even. There was no other word for it. You clicked the photo you’d sent him as it filled your screen. Shit, you’d sent him  _that?_ Dare you admit, but you did look good in that outfit, alcohol had always given you the confidence to do stupid shit like that and it showed in the way you’d posed for him. For your  _boyfriend’s dad_. You immediately selected all the messages from that night and deleted them, incredibly paranoid that Dean might see them. The several images you’d taken in the lingerie set were still in your gallery. The way John had responded to them had given you the attention you were craving, the attention you wanted from Dean. 

 

You sent Dean the image and captioned it “ _As you missed out on it last night xxx”_

 

You wanted him to reply the way John had. You wanted it to affect him. If you really had your way, he’d make up some lame excuse to leave work and come back to have his way with you. But even pre-Sam he wouldn’t have really done that, so that really was living on high hopes. But the reply you did get was not what you wanted at all.

 

 _I was drunk, you can’t have a go at me for that._ You huffed as you read it, he was always on the defensive nowadays, like you were constantly on his back.

 

 _I know that. I wasn’t having a go…I was just showing you the set._ You tried to defuse the situation somewhat.

 

 _Ok_ You glared at the screen. ‘Ok’, that’s it?

 

 _Do you like it?_ You prompted, he hadn’t even acknowledged the photo.

 

 _Yeah it’s nice._ Nice, just nice. No comment about how badly he wanted you. How he wanted to ruin you like his father did. Just nice. Not even 'hot’, not even an ’ _Oh my god’_.

 

 _Just nice huh? Shame, I was going to wear it again for you tonight ;)_ You smirked at your response hoping some teasing would coax him a little.

 

_I’m in work. I’m busy later. I have to go._

 

You didn’t bother replying, the smirk fading from your lips quickly. Clearly, he was busy and didn’t have time for you right then. You did feel put out, but tried to tell yourself he was in work and probably couldn’t allow himself to get worked up over the photo. You climbed out of bed to get dressed. You were going to go and see John before your shift and make sure he deleted the evidence too. 

 

*

 

Not that you were trying to impress John, but you were wearing your most fitted work trousers and had left one extra button undone on your shirt to reveal a little more cleavage. It was hard to make your uniform sexy, but it had worked for you twice now, so it couldn’t have been that bad. The times you needed extra tips you’d dress like you had today. You tapped your foot impatiently as the elevator took you up to the fifth floor. You stepped off it as soon as the doors had opened enough to let you. Walking the corridor you read every door number intently until you had reached room  _564._ You knocked hard and waited. You could hear shuffling the other side of the door until it opened to reveal John peering around it. He was topless, you could tell that much.

“Oh, Y/N, hey.” He smiled, stepping out to reveal himself in just his boxer shorts. You looked past him to see some woman a little older than you pulling her dress straps back up as she walked past you and said goodbye to John.

 

You couldn’t help the twist of jealousy wash over you. He was a single guy, he could fuck who he wanted, you knew that. But until this morning you’d naively believed he’d been doting on you or something. Clearly not. Clearly this flirting between you was just as sexual for him as it was for you. It wasn’t right for you to be jealous of his pursuits when you were in a relationship with someone else anyway. You pushed the feeling away and smiled at him.

“I’m sorry about that.” He told you.

“Don’t be, you’re a free man, you can rock any girl’s world.” You smirked. “It would be selfish of you to keep that talent all to yourself.” John laughed at your comment. You didn’t usually like massaging his ego, but you couldn’t help it. You remembered how you felt leaving John’s room that weekend. Like your whole body had been set on fire. You felt like a whole new woman. You imagined that woman had felt similar. “I will say though, you told me you didn’t really do that much. It made me feel special…” you confessed with a blush.

“You are special, darling,” he winked. “I don’t usually do it on the job, but I’m not on a job right now.” He reminded you. 

“You weren’t with her when…” you stopped yourself, not wanting to sound pathetic and jealous.

“No, sweetheart. I found her after that… I needed something to help me out with that mess you got me into last night.” You blushed at the thought that he’d gone out and pulled some woman to get him off after being affected by you. You tried to remain composed as you nodded, understanding and bit down on your bottom lip. He stepped to one side and let you in. “What do you want anyway, sweetheart?” He asked, closing the door behind you.  You turned around to face him, trying your hardest not to check him out. You’d always loved his body, the random tattoos dotted over his skin. He was very fit for an older man. 

“I urm…” you brought your attention back to the matter at hand. “I wanted to ask you to delete the photo.” You blushed.

“Oh but I had so much fun with it.” He pouted getting closer to you. “It’s all I’ve been able to think about since you sent it…even when I had company.” He added. You tried to ignore the arousal that John had suddenly stirred. 

“Please, I don’t want Dean finding it,” you told him. 

“Why would Dean find it on my phone? He doesn’t use it.” He had a point and you sighed, defeated.

“Fine, well just be careful, ok? Hide the photo or something.” You let John approach you.

“Hm, I remember this uniform,” he smirked. Your head automatically tilted to the side to allow his face to bury into it, his lips brushing against the skin on your shoulder. You’d undone a button the moment you saw John walk into your bar that night. “I remember ripping it off your body,” he growled into your ear. “I remember the way that body looked underneath it." 

 

You closed your eyes and went on the trip down memory with him. That moment of nervous anticipation that came with stripping your clothes for someone for the first time. Having no idea how they’d respond to you, what they were going to feel like, what little quirks they’d have, if they were vocal or quiet, a giver or receiver. So many new things to discover with them. You had no idea whilst John was unbuttoning your shirt that first time that he’d practically change your life. You felt John’s hands roam up your stomach as they palmed your breasts through your shirt. You let him indulge himself, his teeth nipping at the skin on your neck. "God, I never stop thinking about you. My body craves you. Tell me you are the same,” he demanded. You groaned and nodded your head. 

“I want you all the time,” you confessed. “Something about you, I can’t help it,” you spluttered. John’s face was in front of yours as his hazel eyes stared at you for a moment. “It’s so fucking wrong but all I think about is fucking you.” You don’t even know why you’re telling him all this. He didn’t need any more encouragement to try and pursue you. But it felt good to get it off your chest, especially to someone who wasn’t going to judge you for it. John kissed you, hard and rough as you walked back into the dressing table, sitting yourself on it. John stood between your legs and gripped your face kissing you harder still. 

 

Your whole body was screaming at you to let him do whatever he wanted to you, and you knew he wanted to do everything. He felt so good, tasted so good. He was kissing you like he was starving and you were the last meal. His hands on you so rough and greedy, your uniform was getting disheveled. 

“John, stop,” you gasped pushing him gently, your protests not even convincing yourself.

“Please don’t fucking say his name,” he pleaded. You knew he was talking about Dean, but you hadn’t been thinking about him for a change. 

“No, I need to go to work,” you whispered. A small smile graced his lips for a moment, like he was pleased that was the reason. 

“Ok, sweetheart,” he agreed and stepped back, helping you down off the table. He walked you to the door as you turned around, your face inches from his. He was like a drug, addictive and sending you into a cloud of high, adrenaline coursing through your veins. He kissed you again. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this. It’s so wrong,” you whispered, almost hoping it didn’t discourage him. But this was John you were talking about. 

“It feels right though,” he told you, tucking your hair behind your ear. 

“It does,” you agreed. “I’ll see you later.” You left the room feeling like you’d left your mind behind on the floor. You already wanted more of him and for once you didn’t feel consumed with guilt. You didn’t even care to understand why, it was bound to kick in soon so you relished the euphoria feeling for as long as possible.  

 

*

 

You’d not been on your shift for very long when the youngest Winchester walked into your bar. You were surprised to see him if you were honest and weren’t exactly sure what to serve him. He smiled as he approached you and took a seat at the bar.

“Sam, hey,” you smiled. “What are you doing here?” you asked as you started wiping down the bar top.

“I’ve got an hour or so to kill before Dean gets off work and this is the only place I really know around here.” Sam laughed, his hazel eyes sparkling as he did so. It was nice to hear him happy. 

“You’ve been living here about a month now, surely you know more places than my old apartment and this hotel.” You smirked.

“I do, I know Dean’s apartment too.” He smirked back, “sorry, yours and Dean’s apartment.” He corrected himself.

“What the hell do you boys do together?” You joked. Sam shrugged his broad shoulder.  
“Hang out.” His hands clasp each other on the bar top and you smile at him for a moment. He was starting to seem more relaxed and settled than before. His time with Dean was obviously doing him well. 

“You steal my boyfriend for hours on end to just hang out?” You teased. You decided to grab him a beer, having seen him drink them a few times now. You popped the cap and placed it in front of him.

“Thanks,” he nodded, taking a swig. “Look, I tell Dean to go home a lot. I think he’s just afraid to leave me alone.” Sam explained. “He’s always been the same. He takes the whole  _protective older brother_  thing very seriously. I’m okay, really, I’m doing fine. What happened has happened and there’s nothing we can do about it. I’ve gotta move on at some point.” He stopped to swig his beer again, “and you need your boyfriend back at some point too.” He smirked.

“You’re telling me.” You chuckled. 

“I’m sorry about that." 

"Don’t be. Honestly, I get it.” You half lied. You did get it, but it didn’t make it any easier. You’d almost forgotten you were even in a relationship with Dean, your moment of weakness with John mere hours ago a prime example of that. But you were starting to care less, John occupying you just enough. “So, you sticking around?” you asked.

“Think so,” he nodded. 

“Looking for a job?” You asked, knowing the hotel were looking at hiring someone else for bar work for the busier shifts and to alternate with you. Maybe that would work well. If you were off and Sam was working, Dean would finally have time for you.

“Yeah…know of anything?” He asked.

“How do you fancy long heart to hearts whilst wiping down bar tops?” You laughed.

“That sounds perfect.” Sam nodded.

“Alright, leave it with me, I’ll sort it out,” you winked.  Getting Sam a job whilst getting your boyfriend back, it almost seemed too good to be true.


	11. Rearranged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, even the best plans need to be rearranged.

“Then you just twist this bit…” you pointed at the part in question and watched as Sam twisted as instructed. “There, all done.” You smiled. He grabbed a glass and started to pour the pint of beer. You tilted the glass more in his grasp.

“You get less head that way,” you explained. 

“I hope I’m not getting any head right now,” Sam smirked, although there was a somewhat innocent blush on his face.

“Sam Winchester was that a sex joke? You’re spending far too much time with your brother!” You laughed and shook your head at him, continuing to dry glasses. You nodded at a customer approaching the bar. “You’re up.” Sam nodded and you watched him serve the customer to make sure he was doing everything right, including the till. But Sam was smart and a quick learner so despite it being his first day on the job, he hardly needed babysitting. Your eye caught John in the lobby outside the door and he tilted his head as if to beckon you to him. You glanced quickly to see if Sam had spotted him, but he was still talking to the customer, they were discussing something sport related you couldn’t give two shits about.

“I’ll be right back, you ok?” you asked him quickly. He nodded, and continued to talk to the customer. 

You slipped out into the lobby, glancing around you quickly as you made your way to John. 

“John? Sam’s only in there.” You told him.

“I know, how’s he doing on his first day?” He asked, glancing in at him.

“He’s good.” You smiled. “What do you want?” You asked. John’s hand pressed to the small of your back as he walked you into the corner of the lobby, the most private area. He stopped once you were the furthest point away. You spun around to face him.

“I want you,” he growled, out of nowhere. His body pressed you against the wall, his hazel eyes hungry as they scanned you. 

“I’m in work,” you gasped, your heart beating harder at how  _public_ you were as you glanced around several times for people who may be looking. But no one was. 

“I can’t stop thinking about you in my room last week. How we didn’t get to finish what we started. Every time I see you, I think about it.” He wasn’t usually so forward. Relentless teasing and flirting was usually his forte. But he was clearly affected the way you had been, desperate for more, done with the games. Fighting against every single natural instinct you had to give in to your desires. 

 

Things hadn’t improved with Dean still, and the longer it dragged on, the more you ran to John. The line between right and wrong was so damn blurred now that you had no idea what was  _acceptable._ You knew your weird relationship with John was far from it. Your skin flushed as he reached forward and slowly pushed his hand in the waistband of your trousers.

“John…” you gasped breathlessly, wanting to tell him to stop but you couldn’t find the words. “Someone might see. I’ve got to go back to work…” you finally managed to splutter out. He ignored you, his long thick digits found your mound through the thin fabric of your panties. You could feel the heat soak through the cotton as you gasped. It wasn’t going to take much to get you off, and like fuck were you having your first orgasm in weeks in the corner of the lobby where you worked. 

“I don’t fucking care anymore. Hell, go ask Sam to come and watch if you want. It’s not gonna stop me.” He drawled in hushed tones. “We’ve been teasing each other for too long, sweetheart, it’s time we did something about it don’t you think?“ 

"I’ll come to your room after my shift.” You told him. the desperation snapping something inside you that had made you keep control for this long. This seemed to satisfy him as he slowly slipped his hand out of your trousers and smiled. 

“Ok, I’ll see you then.” He smirked. “We’ve got a few problems to sort out,” his eyes glanced to your core as you followed them. You had practically soaked your panties and his erection was definitely noticeable through his jeans. He stuffed his hand down his own trousers and soon you couldn’t notice the state he was in anymore. He moved the hair back over your shoulder and placed a kiss by your ear. 

 

As he waltzed off you let out a deep breath. You watched him walk away and felt like he’d taken your mind with him. You couldn’t think straight. You’d told him you’d go to his room after your shift. How were you going to manage that when you and Sam got off at the same time? How would you explain it to Dean? You were shocked at yourself for only really caring about how you were going to make it happen. Because you wanted it to happen, more than anything. You wanted to feel his hand between your legs again. You needed to feel it. You were aching for his touch. You could still feel him pressed against your soaked panties like a ghost. 

 

 You tried to compose yourself before going back into the bar with Sam. Smoothing down your hair, checking your uniform and clearing your throat.  You still felt flustered but you tried to push it down as you got back. 

“Everything ok?” You asked, Sam nodded.

“Everything ok with you? You seem a bit…flustered,” he commented.

“Do I?” You cleared your throat and shrugged him off. “Just went to the bathroom,” you lied. Sam nodded and returned to putting the glasses you’d been drying on the shelves. “How are you finding everything anyway?” you asked, changing the subject.

“Yeah, fine. Pretty easy when you know how,” he flashed you a smile and you returned it.

“Yeah, it’s pretty easy money. Tips are yours to keep by the way. But don’t be discouraged if you don’t get many, it’s mainly men here and the only reason I get tipped half the time is if I show enough cleavage.” You shrugged. Sam laughed.

“Does Dean know about that?" 

"How do you think he pulled me in the first place?” you smirked as you helped him out.

“I could’ve guessed really.” He nodded. “What about Dad?” His question threw you. Like he was asking if that’s how John had pulled you too, which it was. Did he  _know_?!

“What….what do you mean?” You spluttered.

“He come down here much?” He pried.

“Oh, right, yeah sometimes.” You shrugged trying to act nonchalantly. 

 

It had been a couple more quiet hours and you and Sam both kept glancing at the clock to count down the minutes until the end of your shift. There were only five minutes left when Dean walked into the bar, smiling at you both. He never showed up at your work anymore. There was a time he’d come and meet you so you didn’t have to walk home in the dark alone, sometimes you’d stop for pizza on the way. 

“Hey,” you smiled warmly. His green eyes sparkled as he came and sat in front of the two of you.

“How’s your first day been, Sammy?" 

"Fine, yeah, Beth has been showing me the ropes.” Sam nodded. 

“Great, what do you say we go and hit the pool hall after this?” He asked. Sam’s hazel eyes glanced at you as you tried to not feel pushed out yet again. You weren’t about to have an argument with Dean in front of him. 

“I don’t know, man. I kinda feel like I’m hogging you a bit. Why don’t you spend some time with your girl?” Sam replied, referencing to you. You started to feel uncomfortable, but you were glad to hear Sam was thinking of you. 

“She doesn’t mind, do you Beth?” Dean prompted, his green eyes landing on you. Yes, of course you minded, that’s what the last months’ worth of arguments was all about! You swallowed down the anger, remembering you had made plans with John anyway. This was the perfect opportunity. You didn’t need to lie to either of them about where you were going because neither of them would care. For all they know you’d be going home by yourself as usual. 

“No. You boys have fun.” You forced a smile and turned your back to clean the back counters that held the bottles of liquor.

“No, honestly. I’m tired anyway, I was just gonna have an early night.” Sam spoke up. 

“Well we’ll do a movie at yours then, order some pizza. Come on you’ve gotta eat haven’t you?” Dean pressed. 

“Yeah, but…Beth you can join us,” he then offered, clearly not wanting you to miss out. It was almost like he knew your other plans and wanted to stop it. Sam was a clever guy, maybe he did. But you were probably overthinking it.

“Yeah, sure.” Dean agreed. You turned to look at Dean as he smiled at you. “What do you say, sweetheart? You can pick the movie…” he tempted. It sounded like he actually wanted you there. He actually wanted to spend time with you, and Sam sure, but you’d take it.

“OK, yeah, sure.” You smiled. 

 

*

_Sorry I can’t make it, I was dragged into movie night with Dean and Sam x_

 

_You’re not wimping out on me now, are you sweetheart? You’ve got me all excited for nothing…x_

 

_No, we just need to rearrange x_

 

You put your phone away and tried to focus on the movie that you had half heartedly chosen, knowing you weren’t really going to be watching it. You’d forgotten how cold your old apartment was and pulled the blanket Dean had covered you both with up over your shoulders. Your legs were resting over Dean’s lap on the couch, Sam sat on the armchair alongside. Dean’s hand was resting on your shin as his fingers started to brush back and forth. You appreciated the affection he was showing you and smiled to yourself softly.

 

His intentions became a little clearer when his hand started to travel higher up your leg to your knee, slowly edging to the inside of your thigh. You turned to look at him, but his green orbs were glued to the TV, not acknowledging your attention even if he knew he had it. He didn’t stop his venture until his fingers were brushing back and forth along your crotch. Luckily, the blanket was hiding his activities and Sam had no idea. You couldn’t believe Dean was trying it on with his brother mere feet away when he wouldn’t even fuck you privately in your own home, but you were so desperate you didn’t want to question it too much. Your hand found his, and instead of stopping him like you’re sure he’d assumed you would, you pressed his fingers harder at your core, the pressure through your jeans perfect on your clit.

 

You subtly shifted your position and very slowly undid your jeans so they were loose around your waist. That gave Dean the room he needed as took your hint and slowly slipped his hand inside. Your panties were still damp from your earlier run in with John and it only took a moment before Dean was hooking his fingers underneath them to find your slick heat. Skin on skin. You drew a deep breath, trying to keep any whimpers or moans at bay as you looked back at the TV. When you moved slightly to widen your legs you felt the bulge of his erection nudge your shin. 

 

Your discovery was only spurring your body on more, fresh arousal flooding down, coating the tips of Dean’s fingers as you mewled as quietly as possible. You started to rub your leg back and forth, trying to give Dean some friction against his still growing erection. You felt it swell as he shifted ever so slightly to grind his hips up into your leg as he cleared his throat to try and maintain at least a little normality for Sam’s sake. Your eyes glanced to the younger Winchester as you tried to judge if he had any idea what was going only mere feet away from him. Him being there was surprisingly arousing. The thrill of getting caught at any time, of having to stay silent and discreet. The fact that Dean wanted you so badly in that moment, he didn’t even care that you were in the company of his younger brother. Adding all that to the insane build up of arousal you’d felt over the last month or so, and you were ready to come undone already.

 

Dean’s fingers slipped easily around your sex, around your bundle of nerves, down to your opening as he teased the edges. You clenched your thighs tight to encourage him inside, but he withdrew teasingly. You hissed and when Sam looked in your direction you smiled innocently at him.

“I’m starved,” you announced. How you’d managed to keep your voice steady was beyond you. You were ready to scream Dean’s name. Your outburst clearly hadn’t discouraged him as his fingers continued to tease you, your leg now rubbing against his groin as hard and fast as you could whilst still going unnoticed. “Who fancies pizza?" 

"Sure,” Dean cleared his throat and smiled. Sam shrugged and nodded.

“Great, I would offer to go and get it but I’m super comfy,” you lied, feeling anything but comfortable. You needed release and quickly. Hopefully Sam would take the hint. You almost felt bad taking advantage of his kind hearted, giving nature, but then your pussy automatically clenched around nothing and your worries about using Sam vanished, desperation filling your veins. 

“I can go,” Sam offered, like you hoped he would, and stood up. “Pause the movie." 

"Sure.” Dean reached for the remove with his free hand and did as he was told. 

 

Sam had barely closed the door behind him before Dean was scrambling desperately to your lips, his own crushing them with bruising passion. His hand had slipped out of your panties, and your body seemed to tense disapprovingly. Dean tugged your jeans down to your knees, which apparently was enough for him as he climbed between your legs as best as he could, his clothed erection grinding furiously against your cotton covered centre. You rushed to undo his jeans and pull his rock hard cock free, knowing Sam wouldn’t be too long so you didn’t have much time. 

“You’re so fucking wet for me, sweetheart,” he growled, his fingers palming your breasts through your shirt. You arched your body closer to him and whimpered.

“I’m always wet for you, baby.” You giggled.

“Oh, darling, I’m gonna make you cum so hard,” he chuckled, his fingers hooking into the waistband of your panties as he tugged them down quickly. Just the thought alone made you moan loudly. 

“That a promise?” You gasped as two fingers pushed roughly inside you. Clearly Dean was as aware of the little time you had and you were.

“Oh, baby, you bet your sweet little ass it is.” His mouth sucked and nibbled on the pulse as it thrummed hard under the skin on your neck. 

 

Your groan was cut short in your throat as he edged his way inside you. Your insides stretched and burned beautifully as you welcomed him, a hum leaving his lips. You pulled your legs apart as wide as the restriction of your jeans would allow so he could get as deep as possible. 

“Mmm, sweetheart, always so fucking tight for me.” His nose nuzzled the underside of your jawline as he started to thrust. You reached out to grip the back of the couch, your other hand clawing at his ass to attempt to send him deeper. “God you feel good,” he mumbled against your skin. 

“Fuck, Dean.” You drew a deep breath in. 

 

Before you had the chance to feel the coil tighten to breaking point, Sam walked through the door, large pizza box in hand. Dean lifted his head from your neck to look as you both froze and stared at him, deer in headlights.

“Oh…urmm…” Sam turned his back, “I can come back,” he called in behind him. Dean climbed off you, tucking himself away as you tugged your panties and jeans back up quickly. “I mean, this is my apartment, but if you guys need…”

“It’s fine.” Dean cut across him. You wanted to be mad that he didn’t take Sam up on his offer, but you realised that was pretty selfish of you, considering you were in what was now his apartment, on his couch. Dean flashed you an apologetic look as he shrugged a shoulder. “We can continue later,” he flashed a wink in your direction as you blushed. That did seem to be the best solution. At least it would be continued, so you had something to look forward to. 

“Dude…I don’t want to know,” Sam called out in warning and you giggled, making sure you were decent.

“Ok, it’s safe.” Dean told him returning to his seated position as you sat alongside him, desperate for the film to end.

 

*

 

 Dean yawned loudly as you got home, closing the door behind him. He turned around to face you and kissed you slowly.

“Coming to bed?” he asked against your lips,

“Mhm, give me a moment.” You smirked and kissed him once before he left you to head to the bedroom. You followed him, heading to your drawers as you rummaged through looking for a set you knew were Dean’s favourite. Teal french knickers and a matching bralette that not only, apparently, looked  _fucking incredible_ on you, but also, was incredibly comfortable. You quickly slipped past Dean as he stripped himself for bed, and locked yourself in the bathroom to change. You stripped your clothes quickly, not wanting to take too much time as your body ached to finish what you’d started earlier on. 

 

The contrast between your work clothes, plain cotton panties and bra, and your lace ensemble was refreshing. You tweaked the bralette so it hugged your waist nicely and run your fingers through your hair to give it a bit of texture. It wasn’t perfect, but it would do. You knew you didn’t need to make too much effort considering how badly he wanted you earlier when you were only in your work clothes, worn down after a full shift, but you liked to feel at least a little bit as desirable as he treated you. Reaching for your red lipstick you run it quickly over your lips, cleaning up the edges with your finger. You loved wearing lipstick, seeing exactly where your lips had explored, the red smudges staining his skin. The mess it would make around your mouth by the end. You puckered your lips and rubbed them together before making your way back into the bedroom. 

 

The room was dark but you could tell Dean was laying down in the bed. You climbed in and scooted up close to him, your hand rubbing over his toned stomach. He turned his head towards you as he sighed, and you very quickly realised he had been sleeping. 

“Hm?” he grumbled. “Oh right…yeah…” he yawned and lazily reached for your leg as he stroked it. “I’m beat, but feel free to take what you want.” His eyes were closed as he spoke. This just wouldn’t do. You weren’t going to just use him to get off when he was half conscious. Something about that just felt creepy.

“No, it’s okay.” You sighed. “Sleep…maybe in the morning?” you asked. The hand he had on your thigh squeezed for a moment before it slowly slid down and flopped to the bed.

“Mhm,” he grumbled, turning onto his side, his back to you. He was clearly exhausted and you drew a deep breath, trying not to let the ever familiar disappointment flood through you. You kissed the back of his shoulder lightly and stroked the top of his arm.

“Night baby.” you whispered, turning onto your side, facing away from him as you let sleep take you.


	12. A New Favourite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally reach breaking point.

You were awoken by Dean's alarm and turned over to see him already up, the bathroom door shut and you could hear the shower running. Leaning over you turned the alarm off and pushed the covers down to the end of the bed. You'd fallen asleep in Dean's favourite underwear and after some tweaking, it was ready to impress once more. You knelt in the middle of the bed and waited patiently. You heard the shower turn off and bit down on your bottom lip as Dean emerged, a small towel around his waist, his hair damp.

"Morning handsome," you smirked. You crawled forward on your hands to the edge of the bed and looked up at him through your lashes. "Why don't you come here? I'm really hungry," your lip slid through your teeth until it sprang back into position as you looked at him.

"I'd love to but I'm going to be late," Dean ignored you and made his way over to his drawers as he rummaged through them for today's outfit.

"Seriously?" you huffed slumping back on your heels. "Last night you promised me we'd continue in the morning." you pouted.

"I don't think I did," he mumbled pulling his boxers on. "Look, later I promise." He smiled at you before pulling his jeans up his legs.

"You know what, Dean? Don't bother. You promise me over and over again and do you know how long it's been since I've gotten off? Because I've actually lost track. At least a month. Something better always comes along and I'm pushed to one side."

"Y/N..." his tone held warning but you didn't care. "Don't start this again. I haven't got time, " he snapped.

"You never do, not for me anyway. You just expect me to wait around here for you until everything better than me is gone? If you're not careful Dean I'm not gonna be here at all." Dean pulled his t-shirt over his head in a huff.

"We'll talk about this later. If you want me to give you a thousand fucking orgasms then I will, but  _later_." He didn't say anything else and didn't give you a chance to respond before he was out of the room. It only took a few more moments to hear the front door slam shut.

 

Hiding your face in your hands you tried counting to ten whilst breathing deeply but it was no use, you were still pissed off with him. He could promise you a million times that you'd sort out your problems later, but you were done falling for that line. You climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom when you caught yourself in the mirror. You wanted to rip the stupid underwear off your body and burn it. All you could think about when you saw yourself dressed to impress your asshole of a boyfriend was how much of an idiot you were to believe him every time he made a stupid empty promise. How you let yourself get your hopes up just for him to let you down over and over again. He didn't appreciate you. Not the way John did.

 

You bit down on your bottom lip in thought as you stared at yourself. Were you really willing to go that far? Were you really ready to go somewhere there was no coming back from? Hell you'd already got to a point of no return. You'd kissed him. You'd let him touch you, you'd sent him photos of you. And those were only things you'd done whilst dating his son. Before that there was very little he hadn't done to you during your weekend together. You wanted to feel the way John could make you feel. Gorgeous and sexy, like the only drink in the middle of a desert. Irresistible. You turned and found your phone, intending to send him a photo of your current state of dress. But before you could do that there was already a message from him.

 

_Fuck, darling I wish you didn't have to rearrange x_

 

_Just look at the mess that photo of you has got me in again..._

 

The next message was a photo, blurred out and waiting to be downloaded so when you clicked on it, it sharpened and filled your screen. The image made you gasp as your legs pressed tightly together. He was stood in the bathroom mirror, completely naked. His long thick cock was hard, held in his free hand. Your eyes traced every muscle definition, every tattoo, every splattering of hair over his chest, the trail of it leading down to his sex. You instinctively drew your bottom lip into your mouth as you whimpered. You hadn't seen him naked since that weekend. You'd forgotten the affect he could have on you. Remembering seeing it for the first time. The gasp that left your lips when you discovered just how toned he was, just how big and thick his cock was. How you ached to let him stretch you out, fill you completely. 

 

Dean was thick, and the length was reasonable and you definitely had no complaints about it. But he didn't compare to his father. Clearly, it ran in the family and for a split second you wondered if Sam was as blessed as his older brother and dad. He was tall and muscular, so you imagined he was. But that thought was inappropriate so you shook it out of your head. You had to scoff at yourself. What was inappropriate was staring at a photo of your boyfriends dad naked with an erection. An erection he had because of you. Hell, you'd boarded the inappropriate train with a one way ticket long ago. You continued to stare at the photo for a moment, feeling your panties dampen the more you looked and thought of what John was capable of making you feel with that entire body of his. A strong need came over you. You needed him. You needed to feel him, taste him, hear the way he moans your name. You craved it. Just the thought made you whimper. 

  
And you could have him.

 

You were walking towards the front door before you could talk yourself out of it, grabbing the only coat you owned that was long enough to come down to your knee. You wrapped the belt around you tightly so you were completely covered. You grabbed the black heels that were conveniently on the shoe rack by the front door and slipped them on. One last look at John's photo ensured you were quick to leave the apartment and head for the hotel. The outside air was cold, sending a chill up your coat, not surprising considering you were only wearing underwear under it. You kept your head down and stared at the sidewalk as you weaved your way through people, your mind fixed on only one thing; getting to John's room. 

 

"Y/N?" Lifting your head you saw Sam ahead of you. 

"Fuck." you muttered under your breath before you smiled at him. "Sam, hey." He approached you quickly.

"You ok? You look like a woman on a mission." He joked.

"Yeah...I'm urm...heading to work." You smiled, hugging yourself instinctively so he couldn't tell you weren't wearing clothes underneath.

"How come? Don't we start at 4?" He frowned.

 _Fuck._ How could you forget that he worked with you now? That he was shadowing you for the whole week? You cleared your throat and swallowed hard.

"Yeah. Yeah we do. I gotta talk to Fran about my pay. They messed it up last month. Thought I'd get it done now." You lied through your teeth, grateful for your quick thinking. Sam seemed suspicious. "What are you up to?" You asked quickly, trying to divert the attention.

"Oh, just trying to figure the city out a bit better. Could do with a tour guide," he joked, "not free are you?" 

"No, urm, like I said, gotta see Fran." You smiled apologetically. 

"Of course." He nodded, his hazel eyes scanning you again for a moment. "Ok, well see you at 4."   
"Sure," you agreed and walked around him to keep on your quest to the hotel. 

 

Bumping into Sam had knocked you out of your trance a little and your walking slowed somewhat. Did you really want to do this? Did you really want to go down that rabbit hole head first? You could easily turn around, offer to show Sam the area, an innocent day with your boyfriend's little brother. A world away from your original plans. You pulled your phone out of your pocket to check Dean hadn't messaged after this morning's argument. But all that filled the screen was John's photo. The arousal instantly returned. No, you wanted this. You wanted him. You were sick of fighting it. You slid your phone back into your pocket quickly and continued your journey at the pace you'd set out on. 

 

John didn't take long to answer his door. A smirk danced along his delicious lips as you stared at him and slowly undid your coat, holding it open to show him your attire, or rather,  _lack of_. His hazel eyes danced over your body hungrily, his smirk only deepening as he drank you in. 

"Fucking hell, sweetheart," he drawled.   
"Gonna let me in, or should I knock another door and see if they'll take advantage of me instead?" you teased. He continued to stare as he stepped to one side and let you in. "I got your messages." you told him. You heard the door shut behind you and as you turned around to face him again, he pinned you to the wall instantly. His hands wrapped around your wrists, holding them either side of your head. You gasped, noticing the desperation on his face for a moment until his lips were crushing yours. You kissed back, hard and needy. He slowly let go of your wrists, his hands pushing your coat off your shoulders as you let it drop to your feet. 

"Well isn't this fucking special," his fingertips traced the edges of your bralette as he stepped back to admire you. "It looks good on you, darling." He commented. You reached forward and started to unbutton his shirt.

"Just good, huh?" you teased, your own fingertips brushing over his heated skin, down his chest the more his shirt undid. 

"It'll look better on the floor," he quipped. You chuckled as you let him pull his shirt the rest of the way off, his bare chest pressing against you, keeping you against the wall again.

"Bet you get all the girls with that line, huh?" You teased. His hand stroked your hip, around to the small of your back as he pulled you flush against him, the erection in his jeans pressing painfully hard between your legs. His hand continued to explore, down, over the curve of your ass to the back of your thigh as he lifted it and wrapped it around his waist. 

"If you're gonna want to stop, tell me now, because I won't be able to if we carry on." He growled, his eyes darkened with lust. Your fingers reached for the buttons of his jeans as you slowly undid them one at a time. You didn't reply, your teeth chewing your bottom lip as you slowly exposed his throbbing cock. No underwear, like last time and you wondered if he ever wore any. His gaze stayed on your face as his erection sprung free from its confines, a low groan vibrating his throat.

"So, you're telling me if I do this..." your hand wrapped around him, his flesh hot and soft under your fingers. You rocked your hand back and forth slightly for a moment as his hips jerked forward and he grunted loudly. "...there's no going back?" you asked innocently. He growled, his grip on your thigh tightening. You could feel how wet your panties were; they were uncomfortable. Your skin was flushed, you needed more, so much more, you needed everything this man had to offer you. "I don't want you to stop," you gasped, shaking your head. "I want you to fuck me."

"You don't need to ask me twice, sweetheart," he murmured, his mouth attaching to your collarbone as he bit down. You yelped and tightened your grip on him. 

 

Hooking his fingers into one of the cups of your bralette, he pulled it down to expose your nipple and tweaked it between his thumb and finger, making it harden. His tongue flickered over it for a moment, before he bit down on the skin above it. You gasped, your other hand pushing through his hair. The hand that wasn't still holding your leg around his waist had settled in the dip of your hip.

"John, please..." you pleaded, your grip leaving his hair to encourage him to touch you, feel how wet he'd made you. You felt him smirk against your breast.

"So impatient, sweetheart," he scolded playfully. 

"Urgh," you grunted, frustrated. "Please..." you moaned. He let go of your thigh and pulled your other breast free, rolling the pad of his thumb over the nipple to harden it like the other. He reached up and cupped your face, the same thumb tugging on your bottom lip as you hungrily licked and sucked on the tip.

"I wanna toy with you first, darling," he chuckled. You groaned frustrated and pouted your bottom lip, letting go of his cock in protest. "Now, now...play fair, sweetheart." He smirked.

"Me play fair? You're the tease and I'm the one that hasn't had an orgasm in..." you couldn't finish your sentence because he'd started to grind against your core. You threw your head back and moaned, your fingernails digging into his biceps. 

"Now don't tell me you're just using me to get off." John gasped, his mouth pressed to your ear. You smirked, grinding down against his throbbing cock to help build the friction.

"Don't be offended. I just really need to cum." You told him. "If I remember correctly you were very good at making that happen." 

 

It wasn't a lie. You really were just using him to get off. He was attractive, of course he was, that's why you slept with him in the first place. And because of that, you knew what he was capable of. That was the appeal. He could give you what you needed, what your body had constantly craved since he'd shown you what you'd been missing.

"So greedy. Just need to get off. Anyone will do huh?" 

"Not just anyone. You." You confessed. 

"Gotta be your future daddy in law huh?" he mused. 

"Fuck you. This is your fault you know. Ever since you gave me that first orgasm that's all I've thought about. It's all I've wanted." Your hands continued to squeeze his biceps his mouth sucking and biting down on your breasts as his erection prodded your lace covered pussy. 

 

You decided to take matters into your own hands and tugged on your panties. John's hands instantly stopped you, pinning them to the wall.

"I don't think so, sweetheart, you're gonna have to work for that orgasm. You can't just come here in pretty underwear, and expect me to fuck you so you can go back all satisfied to your boyfriend." You shoved on his chest and scowled. 

"That's exactly what I expect from you. That's the whole point of this. We get each other off. No feelings, no strings. I don't want more. I have more already." You were serious, the arousal draining from your body, replaced with a different type of adrenaline. Lord knows you wanted to fuck him but that was as far as it would go and John needed to understand that now. He smirked at you as he stepped closer again, his fingertips brushing up your thigh.

"You think I want some cute romantic affair? That I'm in love with you?" His held tilted to the side with his questioning, his fingertips leaving goosebumps in their wake. "No, sweetheart, I just remember how Goddamn good that pussy feels around my cock." You gasped as his fingers found your centre and pressed hard, the lace of your underwear soaked and irritating your sensitive skin. "Nothing more than that. You can go back to Dean, play happy families, be a good little girlfriend for him... dote on him, I don't give a fuck. I just want to use those sweet holes to help me cum from time to time."

 

You wanted to feel degraded. You wanted to feel objectified and maybe you did. But, surprisingly it wasn't disgusting, it didn't upset you. It made the arousal pour from between your legs, slicking your thighs. He wanted to use you, like his little play thing, and the worst part was that you wanted him to too. You wanted care free fucking, intense orgasms without the pillow talk. You wanted desperate and needy and quick, take what you want and leave. You had the feelings and the complications already. This thing you'd started with John, it was purely sexual and you both knew it. 

"You help me cum in return and we've got a deal," you tried to keep your voice steady, but it was shaky on your breath as you gasped and writhed beneath his touch. You were surely going to break if your body had to endure another minute of teasing.

 

"Then I guess it's a deal," John's face lit up with a shit eating grin, as you sealed it with a kiss. He stopped rubbing your sex and lifted you off of your feet, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you over to the bed and threw you down onto it carelessly. He was quick to lean down over you, pulling your panties down your legs in one swift, easy movement. You kicked them off one leg, letting them tangle around your heel on the other. You leaned up on your elbows to reach John's lips, but he grabbed your hips and flipped you onto your stomach, lifting your ass into the air. Squealing, you steadied yourself on your hands and felt him tug you to the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping slightly between your legs as you felt the warmth of his body against your bare ass. 

 

He was quick to fill your aching pussy. You groaned loudly, finally feeling complete. His grip on your hips was hard and painful, almost bruising. But you knew he knew better than to leave behind any evidence of his time with you. Not that Dean would notice the way he'd been recently. John snapped his hips forward hard and quick. His thick cock rubbed your walls as you clenched around him, the length enough to feel the tip bulge at the bottom of your stomach when he was the whole way in. You'd forgotten how incredibly full he made you feel. 

 

He fucked you with an unforgiving vigour, his moans and grunts mixing with the sound of his hips snapping against yours. Fingers gripped the bed sheets hard, biting at some of the cotton because you wanted to scream loud enough for the entire floor to hear. You could feel the coil tighten inside you, fast and relentless to a peak you had never experienced before. True to his nature, John was giving you a whole new feeling you'd not felt before. You'd never gotten off without stimulating your clit before. You squeezed your eyes shut tightly, not quite sure what to do with yourself. Each thrust nudged your g-spot, each nudge sending you closer. You could've sworn you could feel every vein, every bump and ridge of his cock tease your walls. One hand left your hip and travelled down your back, grabbing a fistful of hair as he tugged on it, your back arching, your shoulders lifting off the mattress. You helped him out raising yourself higher on your arms as the coil snapped painfully quick. 

 

The feeling that followed was second to none. It was far more intense than you'd ever remembered. It washed over you in waves, your walls pulsating around John's cock. You mewled and moaned beneath him, your arms giving way as he let go of your hair and allowed you to crash down onto the soft mattress. His hands palmed your ass cheeks as he spread them and encouraged your hips to rock with his. Before your body could come too far down from your high, another wave hit you, your pussy sucking him in again, your moans getting stronger once more. 

 

It happened a second time and then a third. 

 

Moans turned into whimpers, your pussy throbbing, the rest of your body so hyper sensitive, you weren't sure you had even been conscious the entire time. 

"Greedy little girl," John mused, the smirk evident in his voice. "So many orgasms, my cock is covered." You whimpered as he spanked your ass. You were well and truly spent. Like every single time Dean had gotten you to the edge and left you there was coming out. Your brain felt ready to shut off, every muscle ached. John pulled out and you felt oh so empty your hips slumped down like the rest of you. You felt hot spurts of cum coat your ass. John was cursing the heavens, his growl deep and throaty. He spanked your ass one last time for good measure when he was done, as if coaxing you to move. But there was no chance that was happening for a good few moments. 

 

He came and lay next to you on the bed, his black hair damp with sweat as he turned and looked at you, a smile dancing on his mouth. 

"That was..." He gasped for breath and didn't finish his sentence. You agreed, but pillow talk was not part of your deal.

"I meant it, John. No feelings." You mumbled tiredly, your eyes closing.

"Oh, sweetheart, we definitely make each other feel things." He laughed. "Bad things your in laws shouldn't make you feel."

"Shut up, stop calling yourself my father in law. We're not married." You complained. You wanted to feel guilty, but honestly? You just felt satisfied, and exhausted. Definitely exhausted. You attempted to get up so you could leave, but as you lifted your head and looked behind you to see the mess he'd made you grumbled and slumped back down. 

 

You allowed yourself ten minutes recovery time before you reattempted to get up. This time you were successful and walked with shaking legs to the bathroom to clean up. You'd wiped up the mess as best as you could and pulled the cups of your bra back into place. You tidied your hair, cleaning up the very little make up you had on from the day before. When you returned to the room, you noticed John was dressed again and you bent down to collect your panties, but on closer inspection you saw in his haste to get them off, John had tore them.

"Asshole, these were Dean's favourite." You scowled.

"Guess he's gonna need a new favourite," John piped up looking very pleased with himself. 

"They were also one of the only things I wore over here."  You added with a sigh. You grabbed your coat and pulled it on, not wanting to hang around.

"Guess you'll just have to walk home with a bare ass then, sweetheart." He smirked.

 

 


	13. Selfish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, it's ok to be a little selfish.

The draft that made its way up your coat was surprisingly welcoming between your legs. Your core still burned and ached from John’s assault and just the thought made fresh slick coat your thighs. You felt like you were on cloud nine and how you were walking so easily on your high heels down Main street after what you’d just gone through, must’ve been short of a miracle. It hadn’t gone unnoticed to yourself how you walked with your back straighter, a sway in your hips and a sultry smile on your face. Men were taking seconds looks, some were stopping to turn around and watch your ass as you passed. You felt so damn desirable. It could’ve been the fact you were only wearing a bra under your coat, but you were sure the main reason was the post multiple orgasm glow you were still basking in.

As you reached the corner of the road, instead of carrying on straight to go home you decided to turn right and head down the street. As you approached you saw the black impala parked across the road and smirked, the garage Dean worked at opposite. It must’ve been lunch time because the place was pretty quiet, only two other mechanics there, working on a large VW campervan together. You recognised the one from visiting Dean in work before, the other was much younger and you assumed a trainee.  
“Hey, doll, Dean’s around back,” the older of the two spoke up when he noticed you. He never had been one to talk to you. Some of the others would strike up a conversation from time to time but only to be polite whilst you waited for Dean to finish a job. You smiled warmly at him, but didn’t say anything and headed to the back of the garage, behind racks of tyres to the yard they used for scraps. Your heels clicked and echoed around the concrete room until you stepped out onto the dry sand of the scrap yard. It was a fairly warm day and the sun beamed down on the yard giving it a particularly yellow glow. Dean was on his back underneath the front of a car that looked similar to his own pride and joy.

You approached him slowly, despite being in a very good mood thanks to your morning’s activities you were very much aware that you’d fought this morning and not spoken since. You stood alongside the car which prompted Dean to wheel out from under it and look up at you.   
“Beth?” he asked, squinting in the sunlight, “what are you doing here?” He climbed up to his feet and grabbed the rag from the bonnet as he started to wipe his hands. He looked so good covered in dirt and oil from working, a soft sweat glistening on his tanned skin. You couldn’t help but smirk as you started to slowly undo your coat. “Look if you’ve come to fight…”  
“No, no fighting. I’ve come to make it up to you,” your voice was low and seductive and you opened your coat fully to reveal all that was left of your very little clothing. Your teal lace bralette.  
“Sweetheart, I’m in work, I’m busy…” his protests were unconvincing. You reached for his jeans and started to undo his belt.  
“It’s OK, hardly anyone is here. They won’t know…” you bit down on your bottom lip as you pulled his belt apart and started to work on his jeans.

“Where are your panties?” he asked, the tone of his voice wavering.  
“I’m not wearing any.” You chuckled, tugging him closer by his waistband.   
“I can see that, why?” His green eyes were scanning your body and you noticed the affect you were having on him. You paused your pursuit to undo his jeans and stood flush against him, your mouth to his ear.  
“I wanted you to have easy access. I want to walk home with your cum dripping down my legs.” You felt Dean’s body tense, a barely audible groan leaving his lips. Biting and tugging on his earlobe you continued. “I’ve been a shitty girlfriend recently. So selfish and inconsiderate. I’ve been coming onto you, forcing you to fuck me just so I can try and get off. I’ve not thought about you at all.” As you spoke your hands continued their previous quest to undo his jeans as you pushed a hand in and wrapped your hand around his throbbing cock. “I’ve put so much pressure on you, I want to make it up to you. I want you to use me, right here in this scrap yard. I want you to fuck me, get yourself off using my body, relieve some of that stress. We can worry about me later,” you purred. Dean grabbed your hips and lifted you onto the car bonnet, kissing you hard and passionately, his hands cupping your face for a moment until they moved to spread your legs.

 

“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re so fucking sexy,” he growled, his one hand rubbing up your thigh to your centre as his fingers rubbed in circles, “and you’re already fucking soaked,” he gasped.  
“I came prepared, ” you giggled throwing your head back to moan as he bit down on your shoulder. Dean inched your ass closer to the edge of the bonnet as he grabbed his cock and lined it up with your entrance. You accommodated him beautifully. Still a little sore from earlier but the burn was delicious.  
“Such a naughty girl, coming here dressed like this. Any of the guys could’ve seen you, could’ve seen what’s mine,” he hissed but the idea only seemed to spur him on as he thrust hard and fast, his own words working him into a frenzy.  
“Fuck, Dean,” you gasped, the lingering aftermath of your earlier orgasms were building again as he rocked into you, his public bone grinding on your sensitive clit beautifully.  
“God you feel so fucking good.” He snapped his hips hard and grunted, neither of you seemed bothered about Dean’s colleagues only inside.

“OK, I’ve got bacon cheese or sweet chilli and…” you both froze at the sound of Sam’s voice getting louder until he was stood at the doorway and looking at you both. You knew you were fairly covered by Dean’s body so you just pressed yourself closer to him and giggled, embarrassed. “Shit, sorry.”  
“Hey Sammy,” Dean called behind him with feigned enthusiasm. “This is becoming a bad habit of yours,” he joked.  
“Believe me, I am not doing it on purpose. I’m gonna go. I’ll leave your lunch inside.” Sam flustered before he left.  
“He’s gonna think you can’t keep your hands off me,” Dean smirked at you, kissing your jaw.  
“I can’t,” you smirked, pushing against his ass to get him to move again, “come on you haven’t finished yet,” you teased. Dean growled into your neck and started to thrust hard and fast again, taking your breath away as your nails dug into the flesh of his ass. His fingers came between you to prod at your clit, but the touch was bruising, you were still incredibly sensitive from earlier and it caused you to tense and hiss. You grabbed his hand and stopped him, encouraging him to squeeze your breast instead. “Come on baby, all about you remember?” you smirked. Dean groaned again and spluttered against your chest as he came. He pulled out, bringing his mess with him as it dribbled down onto the car bonnet.  
“Fuck, what was that about?” he panted as he tucked himself away and redone his buttons.  
“Like I said, I’ve been selfish. I’ve tried to make it all about me recently. I wanted to show you it’s about you too.”  
“But you were all goddamn sexy and confident strutting in here earlier,” he commented with a cheeky grin.  
“Well I felt good,” you shrugged sliding down off the bonnet to your feet.   
“Keep it up, darling. That was…” Dean half shook his head and gasped as he grabbed a wrench, “I’m sorry I’ve really gotta get on.”  
“It’s fine, I’ll see you later,” you smiled and kissed his cheek.

*

You were anxious to see Sam again at work. That was twice now he’d walked in on you and Dean. At least, thank god, he wasn’t walking in on you and John. You didn’t know Sam too well, but you did know his loyalty to Dean was unshakable. Much more so than to his father. If he ever found out about you and John you could guarantee he’d tell Dean. You had to be so careful there. But still, him walking in on you and Dean still wasn’t ideal. It hadn’t even been 24 hours since he’d walked in on you the first time. He was an adult, so surely he’d be mature about it. This was Sam you were talking about.

“Nice to see you with your clothes on,” he quipped as he stepped behind the bar. Your cheeks flushed and you rolled your eyes.  
“Did Dean tell you to say that?” Sam laughed and grabbed himself a glass as he got a bottle of water from the fridge for his shift. “OK let’s get the awkwardness out of the way. You’ve walked in on me and Dean twice now. We’re both adults and sometimes grown ups like to show each other how much we love each other by…”   
“Oh ha ha. I don’t care. Have as much sex with my brother as you want. Just maybe do it at home when no one else is around.” Sam smirked.  
“I don’t have much choice he doesn’t stay home long enough.” You laughed, hoping Sam didn’t take it personally.   
“Touché. Well it’s nice to know you’re not arguing.” You started to rinse some glasses for the dishwasher.  
“He tells you about those huh?” you blushed, wondering how much detail Dean got into.   
“He also tells me how much he loves you. I’ve never seen him like this over a girl before, Beth.” Sam flashed you a small smile before nodding at someone down the bar as he moved to serve them.

You wondered if he was telling the truth. But why would he have any reason to lie to you? What if he knew Dean was having an affair with that girl in the photo and he was trying to cover for him so you didn’t get suspicious? Would Dean tell him if he was cheating? You pushed your questions to one side and served a customer.

*

When you returned from the stock room with a new bottle of vodka, Dean was sat at the bar, chatting to Sam. They seemed deep in conversation, and when they noticed they stopped talking.   
“Hey… You OK?” you asked suspiciously. Dean nodded immediately and flashed you a cheeky grin.   
“Peachy sweetheart,” he winked and took a swig on his beer. You looked between the two of them. They looked like they’d been caught with their hands in the cookie jar.   
“So what are you boys getting up to later?” you asked.   
“Pool…”   
“Movie…”   
You looked between them. They clearly couldn’t decide on their alibi.   
“We’re gonna play some pool before the movie,” Sam explained. Your suspicions only grew as you looked between the two of them looking guilty.   
“Is there something you’re not telling me?” you checked. Not that you expected them to tell you the truth, but you wanted to judge their reaction to the question. Dean took another swig of his beer and shook his head. You turned to Sam who also shook his head.   
“Nope. Just crossed wires. I thought we were watching the movie. Didn’t realise we were playing pool too…"   
"OK,” you nodded, letting it drop. Something was off. But were you really in a position to judge him after the morning you’d had?


	14. Lucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You feel like you're getting closer to the truth...but are you?

As you turned the corner you saw him, practically head and shoulders above everyone else as he stood at the entrance of the hotel, his hazel eyes scanning the crowd. His face lit into a smile as he saw you approaching. You gave him a small smile and closed the gap. 

“Hey! How are you?” He reached down for a hug and encased you in his thick arms, his broad shoulders almost swallowing you. His hands were occupied with take out cups of coffee, so it was somewhat awkward.

“I’m good thanks, you?” As he let you go he handed you one of the cups. “Thanks, Sam.” You smiled up at him and took a sip.

“You’re welcome. It’s the least I can do.” He sipped his own. “Thanks for agreeing to be my tour guide." 

"Honestly, it’s no problem. I’ve lived here for 10 years. It took me at least 6 to know my way around. This city is confusing.” You gave a wave of your hand and started to lead the way, away from the city to the edge where there was a large park. 

“You’re telling me.” Sam took another swig of his coffee and seemed to take slow steps beside you, which you were grateful for, because your much shorter legs were not keeping up with his regular pace. “Plus, I thought this was a good opportunity to get to know each other a bit better.” Sam looked down at you and flashed you a broad grin. You laughed a little uneasy.

“What do you want to know exactly?” You cleared your throat, your paranoia telling you that Sam suspected something between you and John and was sussing you out. Sam shrugged a large shoulder and laughed to himself for a moment.

“Why the  _hell_ are you with my idiot brother?” His smirk was cheeky and you giggled.

“He definitely is an idiot, but I love him,” you told him honestly, “although, nowadays, I’m not so sure the feeling is reciprocated. I mean, I get that he’s trying to be a good big brother and be there for you and all, and honestly that’s so sweet of him and it’s one of the reasons I love him, but it’s like he’s just completely cut off from me now. Like he doesn’t want to be around me, and honestly, I’m wondering if he’s…” you stopped talking as you realised who you were talking to. You’d gotten carried away. The gentle giant beside you was lovely, but his loyalties lay with Dean, and you knew that.

“If he’s what?” Sam prompted. “Fallen out of love with you?” he asked, “Cheating?” He guessed. You shrugged this time, trying to act nonchalant about the whole thing.

“Yeah, maybe.” You voice remained steady, despite the fact that he seemed to be reading your mind.

“Ok, well I can tell you that it’s neither of those things,” Sam began, “he doesn’t shut up about you, ever. I’ve never seen him like this over a girl before. And he’s not having an affair, I don’t have proof, but you’ll just have to trust me.”

 

You wanted to. You wanted to trust Sam, and for the most part you did, but something was telling you he was keeping something. That he’d do anything for Dean. He loved Dean, he barely knew you. 

“I thought things were going good for the two of you anyway, after… What I’ve seen,” he said carefully. You blushed and giggled. 

“It’s better than it has been. But it’s not great still.” You looked to your feet, Sam not having much to say to that. “So I’m special huh?” You asked, trying not to feel too hopeful.

“Definitely. I mean, Dean’s been in love before, he’s probably already told you about Lisa, but with you, it’s different,” Sam explained.

“Lisa?” You prompted, the name ringing a bell and you suddenly remembered John mentioning a Lisa before. Was she the girl in the photo? Why did she keep cropping up?

“Yeah, you know…his first love? Has he not told you about her?” Sam looked confused, like he wouldn’t understand why you wouldn’t know about her. But, thankfully, you and Dean hadn’t done the whole exes chat. You’d always told him it wasn’t something you needed to discuss, afraid he’d find out about John.

“Oh yeah, of course,” you lied. “So why did they break up again? I don’t remember…”

“Oh, just usual relationship not working out stuff I think.” Sam mumbled. “It was years ago now.”

“Like…two, three?” you pried.

“No, like five or so…” Sam frowned down at you but you quickly covered your tracks.

“Memory like a sieve,” you laughed. “I just forgot. I guess you do just know don’t you, if a relationship is going to work or not?” You continued to walk closer to the park, “Dean really wasn’t the kind of guy I dated when I met him but something just clicked.”

“I get you, I felt the same about Jessica. I was gonna ask her to marry me,” he confessed. Your head snapped to look at him as you watched the hint of sadness wash over his face. 

 

You entered the park and motioned to a bench along the path as Sam took a seat and you slowly sat next to him. 

“How long were you together?” you asked softly, looking out at the long winding path through the park. There were a lot of dog walkers about, mainly older, retired couples considering it was the middle of the day on a Wednesday. 

“Coming up to two years.” Sam’s long fingers picked at the plastic lid of his coffee cup. “I was going to propose on our second anniversary,” Sam explained, “for our first anniversary, I got her this bracelet. It was a plain band, but it had a butterfly on the clasp, which was a bit of an inside joke to us because when we first met I…I screamed when a butterfly landed on me, and she thought it was cute…” Sam’s cheeks grew bright crimson as he started to giggle and you laughed at the thought of the six foot something man screaming like a girl at a  _butterfly_. “Yeah, yeah, ok, very funny. Well anyway, I got it engraved with the day we met, New years day, felt like a new beginning.”

“Sam, that’s so…Jessica was really lucky to have you." 

 

You almost felt jealous of a dead woman. That Jessica had a boyfriend so attentive and loving, and yet you couldn’t even get yours to spend an hour alone with you. 

"I was the lucky one,” Sam mumbled. 

“Do you still have it? The bracelet?" 

"No, it went missing when she died. It’s funny, she never took it off, but the day she died she wasn’t wearing it. I turned our apartment upside down trying to find it, but it just disappeared. Just one of those things I guess.” He shrugged like he was pretending it wasn’t a big deal, even though you knew it was.  You both looked out and people watched for a moment until Sam broke the comfortable silence. “Listen, don’t give up on Dean yet. He’s an idiot but he does love you and he won’t want to lose you. Let me talk to him." 

 

*

 

You’d shown up at John’s room like you’d arranged at 3, telling Sam you were still sorting out your pay issue with Fran, which he bought. But your mind wasn’t in the room. It was elsewhere, probably still on that park bench with Sam, discussing Dean. 

 

John’s lips were kissing your neck, nibbling and sucking from time to time, his hands greedy on your body. You were looking around the room, thinking over what Sam had said about Dean loving you, how he never stopped talking about you. Yet he made you feel like you just blended into the scenery when he was around. At least recently. 

"What’s up, sweetheart? Still worn out from last time?” He chuckled as one of his large hands palmed your breast. 

“John, wait…” you pulled back from him. 

“Don’t get all righteous on me now, sweetheart, everytime I think about last time I get hard.” His mouth was back on your neck, his fingers pushing through your hair to get it out of the way. You closed your eyes and thought about last time. The feeling of orgasm after orgasm hitting you. God you’d missed that feeling. “And Dean’s still not getting you off right? So let me do it." 

 

You wanted to give in, the arousal between your legs wanted you to give in, but you couldn’t stop thinking about your morning with Sam. 

"I just feel bad. I mean Sam said that Dean loves me and if he found out about this…about  _us_? It would break his heart. Doesn’t that make you feel bad?” John stopped and leaned back to look at you with narrowed Hazel eyes. 

“We’ve already crossed that line, darling. I think it’s too late to take the moral high ground don’t you? I don’t think another time is gonna change anything…” his hand rubbed up your thigh, under your skirt. 

“But last time I thought Dean was cheating on me with his ex, but Sam told me he wasn’t so now I just feel like we shouldn’t be doing this,” you confessed, your hand grabbing his to stop him getting too far. 

“Sweetheart, Sam dotes on Dean. He’ll say anything for him. I’m not saying don’t trust him but those boys of mine would do anything for each other.” John got up off the edge of the bed and walked over to the dressing table where he had a bottle of whisky and some glasses. He poured you both out a measure and sipped his own as he handed you yours. You took it and sighed as you swirled the brown liquid around the glass. John was right of course and it was something that had already crossed your mind. 

 

“And not to upset you, doll, but Dean really held a torch for Lisa, so I guess it wouldn’t surprise me if they were still in touch.” He shrugged and finished his drink. You felt your stomach twist. Although it was something that had played on your mind for weeks, hearing John almost confirm it made it hit home. It was a real possibility that Dean was having an affair. It wasn’t just you making it up in your head, overthinking things. You knew you were hardly one to talk considering where you were and why you were there. But this started because of your suspicions. 

 

You knocked your drink back and handed the glass back to John who placed them both on the dressing table. Your mind was screaming  _Fuck it_ so you leaned back on your hands and licked your lips as you spread your legs so John could see up your skirt. 

“What are you waiting for? I’ve got work in an hour…” you smirked. A shit eating grin spread over John’s face as he climbed over you, his mouth peppering kisses over your collarbone as his one hand pushed its way up your skirt to tug your panties down. 

 

*

 

Dean was under a car hood when Sam entered the garage. 

“Sammy, what’s up?” Dean called, his attention very much still on the engine of the retro car.

“Dean, you know I spent the morning with Y/N right, getting to know her a bit?” Sam asked, cutting to the chase. 

“Yeah, what do you think of her? Great ain’t she? Man, I’m one lucky son of a bitch, I struck gold there,” Dean laughed, tightening a bolt. 

“Yeah well that’s the thing, I don’t think you’re gonna be lucky for much longer.” Sam dug his hands in his pockets awkwardly. Dean looked up from the bonnet and shot a narrow eyed look at his younger brother. 

“What? Why?” He wiped his hands on a rag and turned around to lean on the car. 

“God I don’t know Dean, because she never sees you anymore? And when she does apparently you argue. You know she thought you were cheating?” Sam took a hand out of his pocket to raise it to his side, as if to refer to you even though you weren’t there. 

“Well you fucking put her straight right? Told her I’m not?” Dean panicked. 

“Yeah, of course I did. I don’t know if she believed me. But Dean seriously, you need to wise up a bit.”

“I know. I just hate lying to her. I feel like I am having a freaking affair sometimes. I feel awkward so it just ends up causing arguments and you know how busy I am. So I’m tired a lot too which doesn’t help.” Dean sighed heavily and threw the spanner onto the tool tray as it crashed and echoed around the concrete building. Sam drew his bottom lip into his mouth thoughtfully. 

“Look, just spend some time with her tomorrow, she’s working the evening shift so spend the day with her and try and act normal.” He suggested. Dean nodded.

“Yeah you’re right.”

“It can’t wait much longer, Dean. If you want to keep her…” 


	15. Time Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean decides to up his game with some time off

You woke up moaning because you felt incredibly aroused, which was new. The more you came to, you realised there was wet warmth between your legs. There was  _someone_  between your legs. You blinked your eyes open and peered under the covers to see Dean with his face at your sex, his mouth working your clit.

“Fuck…Dean what are you doing?” you gasped. Dean smirked against your wet folds, his arms wrapped around your thighs, fingers spreading your pussy open wide. 

“Morning sweetheart, thought I’d have breakfast in bed,” he winked. You tried to laugh but it came out a groan as your back arched off the bed. It had been a while since you’d felt  _this_. Your hand instantly went to the back of his head. He was always so good at this, but you’d forgotten  _how_ good.

“Why aren’t you in work?” you whimpered out, so confused about what was happening. Were you dreaming? Even when you got together Dean never did this sort of thing, take a day off to fuck you. As much as you had wanted him to.

“I promised you a thousand orgasms didn’t I? Figured I’d need a bit of time for that so I called in sick.” He chuckled and sucked your nub into his mouth before gently nibbling it. 

“Holy…” you squealed, “I don’t think I’ll be able to handle a thousand.” You squeezed your eyes shut and started to grind against his face, loving the delicious burn his stubble caused on your skin. 

“I’ll just keep going until you tap out then, baby.” Dean’s tongue started to work you hard, over your clit, down to your opening as he fucked you with it. Two of the fingers holding your lips apart started to rub your bundle of nerves in circles as you mewled beneath him and squeezed his hair hard in your fist. 

 

You came hard over his gorgeous face and slumped back on the bed panting heavily. That was the first time in almost two months that Dean had made you cum, and damn it was worth the wait. Dean kissed the inside of your thigh, his mouth working up your hip and stomach to your breast. 

“One down, nine hundred and ninety nine to go…” he teased, drawing your nipple into his mouth.

 

You’d only just noticed your night shirt had been completely unbuttoned and now only covered your arms. His one hand moved to your neck, the other between your legs as he pushed two fingers knuckle deep inside you, twisting them so the heel of his palm was grinding down on your clit. He curled his fingers upwards and teased your g spot. You could feel yourself clench around him, groans bleeding through your lips at his assault as he moved his fingers with such ease thanks to your soaked opening.

“Fuck baby, listen to how wet you are for me.” You could even hear the wetness above his voice. You could feel your insides turn to jelly. “I forgot how perfect your body is, sweetheart. I’ve not appreciated it for a long time now. I’ve got a lot of making up to do,” he gasped, his green eyes scanning you hungrily as his fingers continued to fuck you closer to your climax. 

 

His erection had almost broken free from his boxers by itself but as you went to tend to it, Dean grabbed your hand and pinned it to the bed. 

“Oh no, sweetheart. This is all about you. I’ve only gotten one orgasm out of you so far. Don’t hold back on me now.” You closed your eyes and felt yourself come undone, your climax practically pouring out of you and when you felt the wet beneath you on the sheets, you were shocked. Dean’s face buried into your neck. “Who knew my dirty girl could squirt?” You gasped at the realisation and moaned loudly, you definitely didn’t. 

 

Dean climbed between your legs, pushing his boxers down to release his erection. He was throbbing, leaking precum as you licked your lips hungrily. 

“Fuck, Dean, I want to taste,” you gasped. A smirk spread across his plump lips. 

“This is your day, sweetheart, if you want me to fuck that pretty little mouth all you have to do is ask,” he purred. You groaned and chewed your bottom lip. You did very much want to taste him. “Whatever you want, baby. It’s yours.” You thought for a moment  _whatever_  you wanted? 

“Hm before I have a taste of you… I don’t think you finished eating…” you smirked. Dean chuckled, his face in front of yours. 

“That right huh?” He kissed you hard and hummed against your lips, his palm rubbing back and forth over your entire sex. “I guess I could go for dessert…” he agreed with a cheeky grin.

 

He kissed down your body, sloppy and messy, sucking little bruises into your delicate skin, leaving a trail behind him. Once he’d climbed between your legs he grabbed your hips and flipped you onto your stomach, lifting your ass into the air as his mouth attached to your dripping pussy again. You rocked back on your knees and held your ass higher as Dean ate you out like he was starving. His fingers curling into the very opening as he indulged. You grabbed the pillow and bit down hard, a long low moan leaving your lips and muffling in the fabric. 

 

You could feel your third orgasm building and thanked the heavens that your boyfriend was a genius with his mouth and that he was finally giving you the attention you’d craved in bucket loads. As Dean’s fingers pushed in deeper and rubbed against your soft spot, the coil snapped and you came, legs shaking, pussy pulsating around his fingers. 

“God you taste good,” Dean growled, slapping your ass as he lapped up your climax. “That pussy ready to be fucked yet, sweetheart?” He asked. You groaned at the thought of his thick cock filling you up, your body craved it, but you bit your lip and lowered your hips down, turning around to face him. 

“Grab the handcuffs,” you instructed.

 

Dean’s green orbs sparkled with mischief as a shit eating grin spread over his entire face and he climbed off the bed to rummage in his bottom drawer where you kept all your naughty bits and pieces. He pulled them out and unclasped them, holding one out and going to grab your wrist.

“Nuh huh, baby, they’re for you. ” You couldn’t help but smirk as his tongue wet his lip and you reached to take them off him, tightening one around his wrist. “You’re not leaving this bed until I’m done with you, and I’ve got big plans,” you teased as he followed you up the bed and you clasped the other cuff to the headboard. Dean was laid out on the bed, one arm raised to accommodate for the cuff and the other reaching out for you. 

 

“Don’t make me cuff the other one, Winchester,” you warned playfully. Dean chuckled and gripped the headboard with his free arm. You knelt beside him and admired the view for a moment, knowing it would drive him crazy. 

“Come on sweetheart,” he groaned and you chuckled. 

“Oh baby you made me wait so long, it’s about time I made you wait some.” You ran a finger down his torso and stopped at his boxers. “Someone wants attention,” you smirked, referring to his cock that was literally twitching beneath the fabric. 

“Fuck, baby please…” Dean gasped. You smirked and tugged his boxers down his legs, throwing them onto the floor. His erection lay flat on his stomach, raising and twitching every now and then, begging for attention. 

“Hm…I think I might take a shower…” you mused as you got up off the bed.

“No…no, no, baby come on…” Dean whined. You were relishing in the power as you slowly made your way to the bathroom, trying to walk steadily on shaking legs. 

 

You had every intention of taking a shower, alongside teasing the fuck out of Dean. You had cum three times already that morning and hadn’t even brushed your teeth yet. You ran the toothbrush around your mouth as you waited for the shower to heat up, spitting the paste into the skin and washing it down before pulling the useless nightshirt from your body and leaving it on the floor. You knew from the state Dean was in, he’d still be in it when you returned and so you washed your body and hair as usual, in no real rush, even though the thought of him lying there, his cock thick and hard, waiting to fill you, made fresh arousal slick between your legs and you gently massaged the shower gel into your breasts for longer than needs be, thinking about all the ways you were going to let Dean fuck you when you got out. 

 

The water was cool and refreshing, perfect to cool you off after the morning you’d had and great for helping keep your skin tight and fresh for what was to come. But hearing the bathroom door open disturbed you and as you turned to look, you saw Dean strutting in like he owned the place, which technically he did, but that was besides the point. 

“Urm, why are you uncuffed, Winchester?” You raised an eyebrow, “ _how_ are you uncuffed?” Dean smirked as he stepped into the shower, like a cat with the cream. What a dick head. 

“Oh, sweetheart, your time of bossing me about is over, I’m in charge now.” He turned you around, breasts pressed against the cold shower tiles as he pressed his wet body behind you. “And you should never leave me with only one cuff on…not if you want to keep me tied up.” He chuckled into your ear and lifted one of your legs up, pinning it to the tiled wall too. “Now I’m gonna take what I want, and you’re gonna cum again and again, and again…” he continued to talk as he sunk his thick cock into your slick hole, “until you’re begging me to stop.” You groaned at the thought and whimpered as he started to fuck you hard, water amplifying the sound of your hips meeting. 

 

 

His hand was furiously circling your clit as you fucked hard, the shower water still beating down on you, like it had done for the last 10 minutes or so, any trace of shower gel on your body was long gone. 

“Oh fuck, Dean…right there,” you encouraged, feeling your whole body tense harder and harder until your orgasm hit like a train and Dean grunted and gasped, his fingers digging into your thigh painfully, probably leaving bruises. The way his body shuddered behind you, you knew he was close to his own climax and when he cursed and whimpered your name, feeling his cum dripping out of you, washing away with the water, your suspicions had been confirmed. 

 

You’d waited until you’d both recovered a little to step out of the shower.

“So much for again and again and again, huh?” You teased, not minding one bit that he’d finished so soon, considering the foreplay he’d endured for you.

“Oh, darling, that’s only round one,” he winked as you wrapped a towel around yourself. You gave a silent laugh and shook your head, stepping out into the bedroom.

Your phone was flashing with a message and when you looked it was John.

 

_Need some help. My room at 2?_

 

You glanced up to see Dean leaving the bathroom too.

 

_Can’t._

 

Was all you sent back and closed your phone off, putting it back on the nightstand. Dean walked up behind you and nibbled the back of your neck. You relished in the feeling. His affair, your affair, none of it mattered right then. Right then he was yours and only yours. And you were his.

“Round two…” he whispered, peeling the towel off your body and letting it drop to the floor as he used a flat hand to push you over the edge of the bed. You were surprised to feel his cock was already hard again as it sunk back home inside you. You were starting to think maybe you needed to call in sick too, Dean was relentless today.

 

*

 

Dean had just finished making you some coffee to go when you walked out of the bedroom with your work uniform on. It always reminded him of seeing you properly for the first time, the way you took his breath away when he saw you standing there. It had taken him weeks to build up the courage to drink at the bar. He’d noticed you through the window whilst passing a few times already and always promised himself he would ask you out one day. He remembered the way he felt nervous, like he’d never chatted up a girl before. His mouth was dry, in need of a drink and he tried his best to seem confident and cocky.

 

Your smile was his favourite. The fact he had made you laugh warmed him through and made him relax each time. Each whiskey gave him confidence until, somehow, don’t ask how, he was able to talk you into coming back to his place. The very room you were now stood in. His green eyes glanced to the couch, remembering the feeling of sinking inside you for the first time, the way you come undone beneath him, the soft sounds of your moans and grunts, the lustful way you looked at him. He knew he wanted to relive that over and over again for the rest of his life.

 

And he had been screwing it all up, despite trying his absolute best not to. He was working to his absolute limits so he didn’t have to lie to you for much longer. So he could finally get back to normal. He just wished he could ask you for the time he needed. But he couldn’t. He just had to keep working and hope it all worked out like he wanted it to. 

 

The happiness that lit up your face almost melted him. He rarely made you smile like that anymore. Before this morning it had been all arguments and messy sex that ended far too quickly because he was a nervous wreck just thinking about the secrets he was keeping. So it was finally nice to see you so content. He imagined four hours of non stop sex and orgasms had done that. He smiled warmly at you as he handed you your travel cup.

“Thanks, baby.” You beamed at him. “To be honest I’m surprised I can bloody walk. I think my body is on fire.” You laughed as you played with the lid of your cup and Dean noted how breathtakingly beautiful you were with your simple make up and hair barely styled.

“Let me drive you,” he offered, “I’m on my way to Sam’s anyway.” He smiled. 

“Ok, sure.” You agreed. “Thanks for spending the day with me, Dean. It really meant a lot.” You smiled.

 

*

 

“How come you’re off work anyway? Thought they had you working overtime?” John commented from the armchair in a slightly duller tone than usual. Dean slouched further down on the couch and peeled his eyes away from the TV. 

“Well it’s not really them making me work, I’m doing some side project stuff in my spare time. Trying to save up some money for me and Y/N, ” Dean explained, taking a swig of coffee. 

“Why? You’re not gonna be with her much longer are you?” John asked casually. Dean frowned. 

“What’s that supposed to mean? Why wouldn’t I be?” Dean shot out, sitting up straighter. 

“Well with you two arguing and stuff recently… just figured it was ending soon,” John said nonchalantly with a shrug. 

“No…why… I love her, Dad. She’s it for me.” John scoffed at Dean’s reply. “What? What’s wrong with her?" 

"Nothing is  _wrong_  with her. I just thought you were still hung up on Lisa. Thought she was your soul mate or whatever,” John shrugged. He had been in a bad mood all afternoon and neither Sam nor Dean knew why. 

“Dad, Lisa was years ago. If Dean wants to spend his life with Y/N then let him. What’s it to you? He’s happy in case you didn’t notice.” Sam piped up. 

“Lisa was great, but she’s not a scratch on Y/N.” Dean added. John huffed and rolled his eyes. 

“Son, you change your mind like the weather about girls. You’re so desperate to be the family man you’ll just settle for anyone.”

“Seriously, dad? You know maybe you don’t like her, but I do. Or is it maybe that you like her too much and you’re jealous? I’ve seen the way you’ve looked at her.” Dean glared. 

“What the hell are you suggesting, son?!” John bellowed rising out of his chair. Dean rose to his own feet and Sam was between them instantly. 

“I love her. Everything I’m doing is for her and our future. You might not like it but that’s the way it is.” Dean shouted around his tall baby brother to his father. 

“She’s fucking pregnant isn’t she?!” John gasped. Sam was trying his best to calm Dean down by placing his hands on his shoulders but Dean shrugged him off. 

“No, she’s not… And anyway would that be so bad if she was?!" 

"Really? The girl you’ve been fucking for less than a year, trapping you with a kid? Yeah that would be pretty bad.”

“I’m not just fucking her dad! I love her! You don’t get to tell me how to feel or what to do anymore. I’m my own person. If I want to love her, I will. If I want to ask her to marry me, I will.”

“What?” John stepped back. 

“Yeah dad, I wanted to tell you much differently to this. I was hoping you’d tap me on the back and congratulate me, maybe even say you were proud of me and give me some tips. But that was fucking wishful thinking, I forgot you’re barely a father.” Dean’s voice bellowed around the silent room. “The reason I’m working my ass off every single day is to save up and buy Y/N a ring.” John’s face fell, but luckily Dean didn’t notice the jealousy that washed over him. “And when I do I’m gonna ask her to marry me.”


	16. Guilty Conscience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You start to wonder if a guilty conscience is coming into play.

You were still floating on cloud nine after your day with Dean a few days ago. Ok, so once Dean had to go back to work the next day, it was back to him falling asleep as soon as he walked through the door, and being up at the crack of dawn to leave, but you were still content. It felt like the air had been cleared. Like after a storm. Everything had built to breaking point and then suddenly, explosion. And that explosion was orgasm after earth shattering orgasm. 

 

You'd managed to put off John for a few days. After all, the only reason you were fucking him was to get off and god knows you hadn't needed to do that since your day between the sheets with Dean. Dean's mood had drastically changed. He used to be on the defensive all the time, waiting for the argument, and maybe that was mainly your doing as you were always ready to fight with him. But the last few days, despite still barely seeing him, he did make the effort to text you and make you feel loved and thought of. If he knew you were on the morning shift at work, there would be a coffee to go and bagel waiting for you on the breakfast bar when you got up, as he'd have just left before you. It was those little things that made the difference. 

 

As you stretched and yawned you grabbed your phone to see that you had two messages. The first was off Dean.

 

_Morning baby, how're you? Sorry I left early. Lots on at work. Have a good day, hopefully I'll be awake when you get in Love you x_

You typed out a reply letting him know you were ok and you understood about work. Even if it did seem like he was lying to you. Before now, he just never told you where he was or why, but now he was going out of his way to give you an alibi. You thought about how you'd talked to Sam about suspecting Dean was cheating. What if Sam had relayed that back to Dean and he realised he needed to cover his tracks better? You sighed, realising that was probably the case. 

 

You wanted to come clean. Tell Dean you knew about his affair and tell him about yours. Ask him to start fresh, both of you walking away from the others and it just be him and you again. But you knew that you were in the much worse position than he was. If he was cheating, which you needed to keep reminding yourself was just a strong theory and not yet a fact, then at least he was only doing it with an ex girlfriend who he once upon a time loved, and maybe still did. 

 

But you? You were cheating with your boyfriend's father. That was worse. So much worse. It was unforgivable. And it didn't matter it was purely sexual with no feelings involved. It didn't even matter if Dean  _was_ still in love with Lisa. He still had the upper hand. And he'd still walk away forever if he knew. So you couldn't tell him. 

 

The second text was, unsurprisingly from John. For the past few days he'd tried to get you to go and see him. So today wasn't going to be any different.

 

_Starting to think you don't need me anymore, doll._

You rolled your eyes at the screen. John had been annoying you. You knew it wasn't his fault, because he didn't know that Dean had gotten you off umpteen times recently so you didn't  _need_  him. But you did feel bad that maybe he needed you and you'd just bailed on him. But you reminded yourself that he was free to go out and fuck whoever he wanted. He wasn't exclusive to you.

 

_I'm just busy at the moment. If you need help, I'm sure you can charm your way into someone's panties ;)_

You tried to keep the mood of your messages light, not wanting to upset him or make him think you were annoyed at him, because you weren't. You just didn't want to sleep with him right now.

 

_But your panties are my favourite._

_No feelings remember?_ You reminded him instantly.

 

_What? I can't have a favourite pussy to fuck? Nothing to do with feelings._

You felt a little insulted, depsite your big no feelings rule you were shoving down his throat. As messy and complicated as getting feelings would be, part of you liked the thought that he wanted you for more than sex. That you were desirable to him in other ways. But it was much better this way. You weren't getting feelings for him, and the last thing you needed was him falling for you and getting jealous of your relationship with Dean.

 

_Wow, classy John._

_What? Just sex right?_

_Just sex._

_Then come over here and we'll have just sex._

_I can't._

You sighed at his persistence, walking into the kitchen to see Dean had made a pot of coffee, so you poured some into a mug. In the fridge, was a bagel he'd knocked up for you with a note saying  _I love you_  pinned to it. You smiled and took it out, grabbing a bite. Cream cheese. Perfect. Your phone buzzed in your hand so you looked at it.

 

_If you want to call this off tell me so I'm not wasting my time._

You rolled your eyes at his 'throwing his toys out of the pram' moment. You didn't know how to respond. Did you want to call it off? Sure, right now you didn't need to be doing this with him, but what if things just fell back to old habits with Dean and you'd gotten to that place again? You didn't want to burn that bridge yet.

 

_No. I don't think so..._

 

_Well that sounds confident. I'm not making you fuck me. If you don't want to you just have to tell me and I'll find someone else._

_You can find someone else anyway, you're not tied down to me. Go out and fuck whoever you want._

_But right now I want you._

_No feelings John!_

_No feelings, doll. I just want you. I want to fuck you._

You were frustrated and put your phone down, sipping your coffee and finishing your bagel slowly. 

_Every time I think about that goddamn pussy of yours I lose my shit. Can't help it doll. You got me feeling things, thinking things. Naughty, dirty things_

You brushed the crumbs from your bagel off your hands and sighed, trying not to let him get into your head. You weren't going to do it.

 

_Yeah?_ You replied, hoping your unenthusiastic tone was readable.

 

_Oh yes, sweetheart. Thinking about all the ways I'm gonna fuck you, all the ways I can make you cum._

Clearly he'd taken your previous message the wrong way. You reread it and bit your bottom lip. You were trying very hard not to let him get to you, but it wasn't exactly working. John was good with his words, and even better at keeping his promises.

_I'd love to fuck you behind that bar of yours whilst you serve customers so all of them can see what a whore you are._

You gasped at his message, at first feeling humiliated and degraded, but those were soon replaced by arousal. You didn't even want to understand why you found the idea such a turn on, but you did. 

_This isn't going to work John._

_Wanna bet? Put your hand in those little panties of yours and tell me you're not wet for me._

You didn't need to, you knew you were, but you were choosing to ignore it.

 

_Well? Don't make me come over there and do it for you._

You decided to ignore him and put your mug in the sink to wash.

 

 

You'd gotten a little carried away and was wiping down the kitchen counter tops, still only in one of Dean's shirts and a little pair of panties. But you didn't have work for a while yet, so you weren't too bothered. It was a knock on the door that pulled you away from your cleaning. You peered around it so not to reveal your state of dress.

 

John.

 

"What are you doing here?" You asked, opening the door wider to let him in. He waited until you'd closed it to approach you, his hand digging into your panties instantly as his thick fingers curled through your slit and over your clit.

"Knew it, knew you'd be fucking wet for me." He growled.

"John, I'm busy, " you protested, pulling his hand away. "Just because I'm wet doesn't mean I have to do something about it." You walked back to the kitchen to continue your cleaning, John following behind you.

"Come on doll, don't pretend you don't want me, " he smirked, "we both know how pissed you get when you don't have an orgasm. And you've not seen me in a few days now. So you must really be gagging for it."

"You're not the only guy I fuck you know that right?" You raised your eyebrows at him. 

"Oh come on, sweetheart, as good as my son's intentions may be he's not getting you off." John laughed. You weren't about to have this conversation with him so you shrugged a shoulder. 

"OK." 

"OK?" John repeated, his genuine smile fading a little. 

"OK." John's smile disappeared completely and was replaced by a smirk instead. 

"Oh, did Deano finally get you off, doll?" He seemed amused. You didn't say anything, but tried and failed to keep the smirk off your face. "One whole orgasm huh?" John chuckled.

"Who says it was just the one?" you crossed your arms over your chest. John gave a silent laugh. 

"More than one orgasm..." he mused. "Must be his guilty conscience," John shrugged nonchalantly. 

"What do you mean?" you pressed. 

"Well, at Sam's the other day he was going on about Lisa."

"What about her?" you pried. 

"You should talk to Dean." John shook his head. Really he wasn't going to tell you?! 

"Tell me John!" You all but demanded. John sighed heavily and scratched the back of his neck. 

"He was boasting about how good she was, you know, in bed. Saying how he loved fucking her and she'd moved around here so he could still get some." John blurted out. Your eyes widened as the very strong theory became fact. So Dean was having an affair. John had just confirmed it. 

 

You weren't upset, you were expecting this for too long. You weren't even really that angry. You knew you would be the world's biggest hypocrite if you were. 

"OK, well I figured as much," you shrugged trying to act nonchalant, reminding yourself you had no right to be upset. 

"You OK?" He checked. 

"Yeah I'm fine," you lied, your eyes scanning the tall oldest Winchester in front of you. You needed a distraction. "Let's fuck then," you told him.

"You sure?" 

"Yeah. That doesn't change anything. We're both having affairs so fucking what. Come on, you're here to get your dick wet aren't you?" you tried to keep the bitterness out of your voice because it was hardly John's fault, but you weren't doing a very good job. 

 

John's eyes darkened as he looked down at you. 

"In the bedroom," he ordered. 

"No, not there." You shook your head. 

"The couch then," John nodded his head to it. You looked at it and remembered that the first time you'd slept with Dean was on it. 

"No not there either," you sighed. 

"OK where haven't you fucked my son in this apartment?" He huffed and you could've sworn you saw a flash of jealousy.

 

_Good question John._

Your eyes scanned the place, the early days of your relationship were very good to you both. There was hardly anywhere uncovered. 

"Fuck it, let's just do it here," you gasped. You tugged your panties down and stepped out of them as John rushed to unbuckle his own pants. He pulled his cock free as his lips crushed yours. Pulling one of your legs up to wrap around his waist he bent his knees and entered you quickly. A slow deep burn coursed through you where you'd not recovered from your fuck fest with Dean. 

"Fuck that's the best pussy I've ever had." 

 


	17. Hyprocrite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean bumps into a ghost from his past whilst you meet with the ghost from yours.

_How are you? Work is boring as per x_

He didn't have to text you, but he needed to keep up the facade whilst still showing you he was thinking of you. He pushed his phone back into his pocket and looked up.

"What about this one?" He walked over to Sam and peered into the glass cabinet at all the shining diamonds. 

"Hm, too generic." Dean shook his head. He continued to look. He didn't know what he was looking for really, but he knew once he saw it he'd just know it was the right one.

 

Him and Sam split up again and continued their search. 

"What about square?" Sam called across the shop, the sales assistant not seeming too happy with that. 

"Maybe." Dean pouted his lip.

"Dean?" Turning his head, his green eyes landed on a familiar face. 

"Lisa? Hey!" Dean smiled and looked down to her side to see a small boy by her side. "Hey, dude..." he added awkwardly. 

"I thought it was you. I saw Sam first," Lisa smiled. "Wow it's been what 6 years? What are you doing here?" she asked. Dean peeled his eyes off the kid that looked freakishly like him and pointed at the glass cabinet. 

"I'm uh... I'm buying an engagement ring," he blushed. 

"Oh my god. Wow! Congratulations! That's amazing, I'm so happy for you. What's her name? What's she like?" Lisa beamed. 

"Y/N," Dean's mind left the kid beside his ex as he started to think of you. "I met her at a bar and the rest is history. She's amazing, goddamn stubborn, headstrong. Real fire cracker but she keeps me on my toes." 

"She does sound perfect for you, to be fair," Lisa agreed. Dean blushed again, he used to feel so natural and relaxed around her, now he just felt awkward. 

"Oh she is," Dean felt Sam's large hand land on his shoulder. "Lisa, hey, how you doing?" Sam smiled. 

"Hey Sam, I'm good thanks." Dean's mind wandered back to a potentially pressing issue. 

"I'm sorry but..." Dean glanced at the little boy still by her side. 

"Oh right, Dean, Sam this is my son Ben. Ben these are my old friends." Dean stared wide eyed, unable to get the thought out of his mind. What if... No...

"How old are you, Ben?" Dean asked him suddenly. 

"Five," Ben spoke up. Dean shot a look at Lisa who just laughed. 

"Relax, he's not yours," she giggled. 

"Oh thank fu... God for that. Or I wouldn't be buying an engagement ring today. I'd be buying diapers or something." Dean let out a breath, he was so relieved. He wanted kids, sure but with you, not his ex. 

"Dude, I'm five not two," Ben shot. 

"Oh, right." He stayed quiet and realised he really knew nothing about kids. He had a lot of learning to do before you both got to that step.  

"Mrs Taylor? Your rings are ready." The sales assistant cut in and handed Lisa a box. She opened it and slipped both rings back onto her ring finger. 

"Congratulations to you too apparently," Dean noted and Lisa smiled. 

"Good luck Dean. I'm really glad you're happy." 

"Me too... I mean I'm glad you're happy. We're both happy. It's nice." Dean was rambling, feeling incredibly awkward. 

"Bye Dean," Lisa giggled and kissed his cheek, "bye Sam," she added before she left. 

 

"Well that was awkward," Sam commented, his eyes scanning glass cabinets again. 

"Yeah a little. But it was good. To be honest I've always had this niggle in the back of my head. This  _what if_ niggle with Lisa. But seeing her just then, it was all gone. I didn't feel anything I used to for her. All I could think about was Y/N," Dean confessed as his eyes locked onto it. The one. "Sam. This is it." He called. Sam was at his side almost immediately as Dean's finger pointed to the one in question. "It's perfect."

 

*

 

As you came to the corner of the street that lead to Dean's garage you glanced down it like you did every time you passed and Dean was working, to look at his black Impala parked in the exact same place every time. Dean liked to keep it directly opposite the garage so it was close enough he could see it if he looked out, but away from the cars and vans that drove in and out of the place all day. You could've sworn that he'd bought that part of the street, you'd never seen another car parked there, like everyone just knew it was Dean's spot. 

 

But as you glanced down the road on this occasion, it wasn't there. The space was completely empty. You considered Dean had driven it into the shop for some TLC but he never usually did that during work hours, he'd always stay behind and work on her when he could completely focus whilst being alone. Your next thought made your stomach twist. Maybe he was with  _her_. But why would he take the day off work to be with her? Was he giving her a day of attention like he had you last week?

 

You tried not to think too hard about it, considering you were on your way to John's hotel room. The two of you had agreed that after the time where you just ended up fucking stood in the kitchen, your rendezvous would only happen at the hotel. Where there was nothing to remind you of Dean, and no tracks to cover. It felt less personal that way too. More of a cheap fuck which is definitely what it was. 

 

As soon as John had let you in to his room, you started to undress.

"Hey, you ok?" You asked him, pulling your shoes and socks off and throwing them to the corner of the room.

"Yeah, you?" He asked, watching you.

"Fine." You smiled and started to unbutton your shirt. "Come on," you prompted, wanting to get down to business, so to speak. John's hazel eyes scanned you for a moment.

"Always in such a rush, doll." He sighed and perched on the edge of the dressing table.

"Well, I'm only here for one thing, no point pretending I'm not," you shrugged. "Why? You wanna undress me this time?" you asked. You walked into the bathroom and fixed your make up a little.

"I got you something," John called in.

"Yeah? Is it a condom?" You rolled your eyes at your own reflection and scrunched your hair. "Because I know I'm on the pill but at least one of you should be wrapping it and I can't exactly ask Dean." 

"Wow, you really are all about business today aren't you?" John mused, leaning against the doorway. 

"No feelings," you reminded him with a shrug. John pushed himself off the door frame and walked up behind you, reaching around your front as he pulled a necklace out and looped it around your neck. "Urm...what's this?" You asked.

"A necklace?" John smirked.

"I know it's a necklace, John, but it also looks like someone getting a bit too personal." You didn't want to sound ungrateful, but you were hyper paranoid about this turning into something more than what it was, and jewellery was a classic love affair type present.

"Not being soppy or cute...purely for my own pleasure," John smirked at you through the mirror.

"Find necklaces a turn on huh? Real big kink of yours?" You raised an eyebrow, not buying his bullshit. 

"Not quite. I want you to wear it all the time. So that every time I see it I think of this...our dirty little secret." John pulled some of the hair back over your shoulder to kiss your neck.

"And what do I tell Dean?" You asked, watching him through the mirror. He gave a shrug.

"You'll think of something." His smile was menacing against your skin. You brought your hand to the pendant and looked at it properly. It was a very fancy  _W_ in script style writing with a single emerald green gem in the top corner of the letter. 

"W for Winchester I assume?" 

"Mhm," John mumbled against your skin. "So you'll wear it?" 

"I guess," you sighed, actually quite liking it, even if it was from him.   

 

*

 

You clasped the pendant as you walked through the door, running it along its chain back and forth. It was a rare occasion that you were home at a reasonable time, around the same time Dean usually was, so you had the evening together. That's if he was back from wherever he was with  _her_ and hadn't made plans with Sam. You'd hoped not. 

"Oh hey! How was work?" Dean asked, his head popping out of the bedroom doorway.

"Fine," you smiled. "Yours?" you pried, walking towards him.

"Same old, same old," Dean shrugged. You could tell he'd not long showered, which wasn't unusual for him after a day of working with oil and grease. He kissed you, but you withdrew a little, paranoid you tasted of John, or he'd smell him on you. You'd always showered before seeing Dean again before now. 

"You ok?" he checked.

"Yeah, just sweaty and gross from work, need to shower." You tried to play it off.

"Ok." Dean smiled, his green eyes landing at your neck. "Hey, where did you get this?" His fingers picked up the pendant as he looked at it.

"Oh, urm, just a pawn shop in town. Thought I'd get it for you," you shrugged, your heart in your throat until he bought your alibi.

"Really?" 

"Yeah, you know, W for Winchester..." you gulped. Dean's eyes met yours as he smiled a sad smile, and your gut twisted. He must've known. 

"Crazy, my mom had one just like that," he commented, "went missing when she died. Dad bought it for her, she never took it off, but she wasn't wearing it when she died. Dad said it was gone when he found her." 

 

At first, the relief that Dean didn't know about John washed over you, but it was quickly replaced by the meaning of Dean's words. Had John got you it to dress you up like his dead wife? What if it  _was_ her necklace? Maybe John had kept it safe, not wanting it to get lost in evidence if it was important to him. But why did you have it now? Sentimental? But maybe it wasn't hers, just some weird coincidence. John just had a certain taste and it was all an accident. Your mind buzzed as Dean carried on talking.

"Anyway, there's no food in, so how does dinner out sound? We can make it a date night? Dress up nice?" he asked.

"Sure," you mindlessly agreed. 

"Ok, great. Well you go and shower and get ready, I promised Sam I'd spend an hour or two with him so I'll be back by 7 to pick you up." Dean kissed your cheek lovingly. "See you in a bit." He smiled, "wear something nice." 

 

You were still in a mind fog when you stepped into the shower and continued to over think the necklace John had given you. You didn't know what to make of it and figured it was probably best to just ask him next time you saw him, rather than jumping to extreme conclusions. You stepped out of the shower and unclasped the necklace, putting it on the side. You felt wrong wearing it around Dean. Walking back into the bedroom, drying your hair you heard Dean's phone ringing and looked around for it. It was on his nightstand and so you made your way to it. Two missed calls from Sam. Maybe he was calling it to help Dean find it. The next time it rang you answered.

"Hey, Sam."

"Y/N? Oh hey, is Dean there?" he asked.

"What do you mean? Isn't he with you?" you asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Oh...I...urm, he must be on his way," Sam stumbled out.

"He left over half an hour ago." You told him. "Where is he Sam?" You pressed.

"I...urm... you really need to speak to Dean." Sam stammered.

"That fucking bastard, he's with her isn't he?" You snapped.

"What? No...no, Y/N, please just wait till he gets back and talk to him. Promise me?" Sam panicked. You wanted to trust Sam so you drew a deep breath.

"Ok, fine. I'll give him a chance to worm his way out of it, but I swear..." you stopped talking, knowing you were being hypocritical again. "He has one chance, Sam." 


	18. Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally learn the truth about Dean

As you'd promised Sam you would give Dean a chance to explain himself, you'd still gotten dressed for your meal out. If you'd make it there. The anger was bubbling inside you the more you thought about it. You already knew he was having an affair, and OK, you weren't exactly innocent yourself anymore but he had lied to you over and over again. Technically you'd not lied to him much if at all, because he was barely around to know you were spending a few hours a day with his father. He'd not noticed you making more effort for work, the fact you didn't wear his favourite underwear anymore as John had ripped them, or even that you'd suddenly not cared at all if you were getting off or not. 

 

The last one, to be fair, was partially down to the fact he'd been doing better in that department again. But still, you'd hardly been careful at hiding your affair, you didn't need to. And that was because he was too busy with  _her_. You'd rummaged in his drawers again and found the photo of the two of them. You'd stared at her for several moments, wondering what was so much better about her than you. 

 

The photo was beside you on the bed, and you wiped away a few stray tears as you heard the front door open and close. Dean rushed into the bedroom immediately, green eyes soft and full of concern. You realised Sam must have dobbed him in.

"I can explain everything and I promise you it is not what it looks like." His hands were held in the air in defense.

"Don't bother, Dean. I know, okay? I've known for ages." Your words bounced on your breath a little as you sniffled.

"Whatever you think you know, you don't..." Dean tried again. You grabbed the photo and shoved it in his face.

 

"Then what is this? Why would you keep this hidden away somewhere if nothing was going on between you? It makes perfect sense, Dean. You're never home, when you are home you're tired, too tired for me, even now Sam's working you've barely had time for me. You never want to have sex, when we do it's pathetic. OK so we had that day together last week and that was great, but I know now that was just your guilty conscience. You and Sam whispering to each other, I know he knows and I know he's protecting you. And I know you weren't in work today. So that was a lie too." By the time you'd got it all out, you had tears streaming down your cheeks. Dean was shaking his head with every statement you made. His eyes landed on the photo as he frowned.

 

"OK, firstly, this photo is from when I was with Lisa. I don't know where you found it but I've not seen it for years. Secondly, I can promise you, on my life - on Sam's life, I'm not having an affair. I can explain everything, the late nights, the shit sex, all of it. I just need you to trust me, and let me take you somewhere." You didn't reply, just hugged yourself for comfort and sniffled. But John had told you about Dean boasting about Lisa, why would he lie? "Y/N, I swear to you, I've not slept with another woman, I've not looked at another woman, hell I've not even thought about another woman since I met you. I mean, why would I? You're fucking perfect. You're mine. I don't want anyone else, I never will. I know I've been fucking it up recently but just let me show you why," he pleaded, his pine coloured orbs glossy.

 

You were confused. Surely John had no reason to lie to you, but Dean seemed so genuine. And he had an explanation, apparently. He wouldn't go this far to cover up an affair would he? If he loved you enough, he'd break it off with her and if he loved her enough to go this far to keep the secret, surely he'd leave you to be with her? You had to at least give him that chance right? Even if he didn't realise it, you did owe him one. He wasn't the only guy you'd slept with, looked at, thought of. You wanted him to explain himself out of it. At least you thought you did. Or did you want the affair to be real so much to justify what you'd done? Licking your bottom lip in thought you nodded your head and wiped your cheeks. Dean smiled, relief washing over his face as he held out his hand for you. You didn't take it, instead you walked past him and you felt him follow you.

 

He seemed to be driving you to the garage and as you pulled up in his favourite spot you felt a heaviness in your heart. Why were you here? This didn't explain anything. You got out and followed Dean's lead none the less. 

"So for the last couple of months I've been working overtime. I've been doing up old cars to sell to make some extra money. The nights I pretended to be at Sam's, I was here working. He came by and helped a bit," Dean started to explain as he unlocked the door and let himself into the office. You followed on silently.

"I wanted to save up enough to give you something," he continued, his voice echoing around the garage as he lead the way to the scrapyard out the back. 

 

There was a bright orange glow as you stepped out and was greeted with what seemed to be hundreds of candles and bunches of flowers all circling and encasing an impala that looked very much like Dean's but in a pale turquoise blue. You had always said how much you liked his car and you appreciated the extremely thoughtful gift, but you couldn't help but think that you didn't need it, you walked to work. It was ungrateful of you to think, but it was true. You'd have much rathered your relationship stay in tact instead.

"Dean, it's beautiful, but it's too much. It wasn't worth all that work just to give me a car." You sighed, shaking your head as Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys.

"It wasn't just a car." His voice was soft and gentle as you took the keys from him, feeling something more than them in the key ring. Looking down your eyes landed on a gorgeous pear shaped ring. One large diamond in the middle, tiny diamonds surrounding it. It glistened beautifully in the candle light. Your breath was caught in your throat as you stared at it, tears trailing down your cheeks so freely you barely felt them.

 

When you looked back at Dean he was down on one knee, the anxiety riddled over his face. 

"Y/N, I've been shitty recently, I know. God keeping all this from you has been so tough, I hate lying to you, but I wanted everything to be perfect. And I was working my ass off to get it right. I swear now this is all over I'm gonna be back to pestering you every second of the day, I won't keep my hands off you, you'll have every second of my attention. I promise you, I still love you as much as I did then, if not more. I want to annoy you for the rest of our lives. So... Will you marry me?"

 

You were speechless, stood there with the ring between your fingers as you stared down at Dean in pure shock. A million thoughts and feelings were rushing through your head. He wasn't having an affair? But did that make sense? He was busy, tired all the time, which if he was working non stop made sense, being distant with you, if he had to keep this a secret and it made him feel awkward, you could see why. He'd put so much pressure on himself to give you something elaborate when he could've given you a haribo sweet and you'd have been happy. Sam must've known about the proposal, it made sense that he was so desperate for you to give him a chance. Their hushed conversations. You felt like a prized idiot. You'd gotten obsessed with the idea he was cheating. 

 

And John. God, you'd cheated on Dean with John. You didn't deserve to marry him, you needed to tell him, you needed to come clean. But then you'd lose him forever, and you loved him, more than anything. He wouldn't understand that John was purely sexual, that it was in retaliation to thinking he was cheating. That wasn't an excuse. Your mouth was dry, heart thumping in your throat. You would call it off with John, completely. Dean would never have to know. This relationship was doomed from the start as you'd already slept with John anyway. Your latest meetings hardly made a difference, John was already a notch in your bedpost. 

 

You realised whilst you were wrapped up in your mind, piecing it all together that Dean was still waiting on baited breath for your answer.

"Sorry, I...this has thrown me," you confessed. "I thought you were cheating ten minutes ago." Dean's face almost pulled into a wince, like he was expecting you to say no. You couldn't bare the thought of hurting him, seeing him break. And you wanted this with him. "Yes Dean, yes, I'll marry you." You nodded and smiled as he sprung to his feet and lifted you off yours, spinning you both around as you squealed.

"Thank fuck!" he exclaimed, dropping you back to your feet as he kissed you deeply, his hands either side of your face. "I can't believe you thought I was cheating," he gasped as he pressed his forehead to yours.

"I'm sorry, I just...you have to admit, all the arguments, secrets, late nights..."

"Never, baby, No I would never, I love you." He kissed you again. "OK, you need to put the ring on." He was like a kid at Christmas taking the keys from your grasp as he quickly took the diamond ring off the key ring. You held out your shaking hand and let him slip the it on. It was gorgeous, even more perfect when it was on. 

"I love it. I love you." You beamed up at him and kissed him again. "Dean, all this...is too much. Also, this was such a you proposal. Cars, the ring on a key ring."  You laughed as you looked around the scrap yard at all his efforts.

"Well Sam helped a bit." Dean smiled as his green eyes also scanned the lot. "Come on, check out your baby, I did a lot of work on this." He guided you over to the car. The insides had white leather seating, everything looked sparkling and new. "She'll run perfectly, new engine, new clutch, brakes, the works."

"Dean, I can't drive stick," you reminded him.

"I'll teach you." He smirked as he opened up the drivers door and motioned for you to get in. 

 

You sat down and he pushed the key in and turned on the engine. You revved it a few times and held your hands on the steering wheel and looked around at it. It was gorgeous. 

"Dean, I don't know what to say. This is crazy. Thank you." You stepped back out of the car, taking the keys with you so the engine died. 

"And don't worry, we've already christened it." He had a cheeky grin on his face as he winked at you and you frowned, confused.

"What?"

"On the bonnet," he reminded you and your mouth fell open as you laughed. 

"That was this car?" Dean licked his bottom lip as he chuckled. "Well at least it wasn't a customer." You giggled and opened the back door to look inside there. "You know," you turned around to face him again, "we haven't christened these seats..." you smirked as you lowered yourself down to sit on them and slid your way to the other end of the car as Dean climbed in after you, his lips crushing yours. 

 

He slid you down the car door, so you were laying flat on the chair beneath you as he leaned over you, kissing you deeply. His fingers found the zip at the back of your dress as he pulled it down, the straps falling from your shoulders. You pulled your arms of out it, fingers finding the hem of his shirt as you worked on undoing the buttons and slipping it down his arms. His kisses made their way to your neck as your hands worked his trousers, his pulling your dress down, over your breasts and hips, as you lift them and allow him to slip it the rest of the way off. 

"Hm, I might like these better than that teal pair." Dean commented on your pale pink panties as his fingertips traced the edges. You groaned softly and lifted your hips further, his trousers finally slack around his waist as you tugged the elastic band of his boxers and let his erection spring free. 

 

Dean kissed down your neck, over your collarbone and to your breasts, his tongue tracing the cup's edge, teeth peeling the fabric off your body. Your hand wrapped around his hard, warm flesh as you started to slowly rock your wrist to a rhythm, his hips thrusting ever so slightly in time. One nipple free from the lace, it stood hard as Dean swirled his tongue around it. Moaning a little louder this time, you rub your thighs together, the wetness starting to make you feel uncomfortable down there. Dean's hand leaves the edges of your panties and pulls on the cup of your other bra to free the second nipple, tweaking it between his thumb and finger. He kissed his way back up to your lips and captured your bottom lip between his teeth. His eyes opened onto yours and you just stared at each other for a moment, a smile dancing along his lips as they took in your face.

"You're beautiful, Y/N," he whispered, kissing you again. His hand slipped down your body, under the elastic of your panties as his thick, long fingers found your sex.

 

He used the soft pad of his index and middle fingers to swirl the bundle of nerves in circles for a moment, your legs instinctively parting as you gasped against his mouth. His tongue slipping into your mouth as you kissed him harder, your grip around his cock tightening and the pace quickening. A moan from him vibrated your lips as he slipped his two fingers under your clit and into your opening. You were soaked, so the movement was effortless.

"Oh...Dean...." you spluttered, "please." You tugged his cock hard, wanting him inside you. His fingers left you so he could pull your panties down your legs as he readjusted his position so he was better settled between your legs. You let go of him, your hands resting on his shoulders instead as he glanced back up your body to your eyes. 

 

"Ready, baby?" He panted and you nodded instantly, feeling the thick swell of his tip slowly sink inside you. He drove his hips forward at glacier pace until he was as deep as he could get, a long, gentle groan bleeding through his swollen, plump lips. Your mouth was slack open as your fingertips squeezed the bones in his shoulders. Reaching up, you captured his lips with yours and encouraged him to move with a roll of your hips. He kept his pace slow and steady. Each time he withdrew, it would drag along your sweet spot as you mewled beneath him, biting down on your bottom lip and continuing to roll your hips to gain friction on your clit from his pubic bone. Breathing grew heavier between you, groans and moans getting louder, the coil in your stomach winding tighter, your pussy clenching around him. 

 

"Fuck, baby...you always feel so good." Dean grunted as he snapped his hips down onto yours, quick and hard but stops. He just looked at you, writhing beneath him as your climax heightens to breaking point. One roll of his hips was your undoing, a loud, drawn out moan left your lips as Dean muffled the sound with his own mouth. He breathed into you, rolling his hips in circles as your orgasm coats him in slick. Your fingernails dug into his skin, half crescents indents being left behind. You panted and shuddered as you come down, Dean's thrusting increasing again as his hips started to rock. You brought your legs up to wrap around his waist, the angle sending him deeper, your arms wrapped around his neck.

 

"Fuck, Dean," you gasp, your eye catching the ridiculous diamond that you now wore. All this, all of him, it was yours. Forever. 

 

 

*

 

With one final thrust, your orgasm was released, whimpers left you as your body compulsed around him and brought him to his own climax. Both of you were slick with sweat as he crashed on top of you, panting heavily. You kissed his forehead at his hairline, a salty aftertaste on your lips. 

"God, Y/N, I can't believe I get to do that with you, over and over, for the rest of my life. I'm the luckiest son of a bitch to have you for myself." His lips lazily kiss your collarbone as your stomach tightens, the smile on your face wavering. 

"It's all yours, forever, I promise." And you meant it. From that moment it would be all his, forever. No more John. That was over. 

"Good, baby." Dean smirked up at you, and kissed the centre of your chest. "God, Sam's gonna be so happy you said yes," he told you. You giggled, your fingers winding through his damp hair.

"He's probably just gonna be glad he's not gonna walk in on us anymore, now you'll be around more we can keep it at home." You chuckled at the thought.

"Oh I don't know, no promises there, sweetheart. Already told you I'm not keeping my hands off of you," he teased. You rolled your eyes but smiled all the same. John wasn't going to like that one bit.  

 

The thought of John reminded you what he'd said about Dean boasting about Lisa. Had he lied to you? To get you to sleep with him again? You weren't going to until he'd said that. Maybe he was playing you.

"Did your Dad know?" You tried to sound casual.

"Yeah, told him that day we had together once you were in work. He didn't seem happy about it. I mean, he likes you, don't get me wrong, I don't know why he was so peeved about it. Maybe he likes you, you know... _likes_  you." Dean hinted. Your throat closed up at his suggestion but you pushed through it.

"Don't be silly. I'm young enough to be his daughter. That's just weird." You played it off.

"You've changed your tune. The night we met you told me I was too young for you," Dean reminded you with a laugh.

"Yeah, well you showed me the light," you chuckled.

"Anyway, can you blame him if he does? You're fucking gorgeous." He kissed you again, deep and sensual and you felt him hardening across your stomach.

"Again?" you asked, looking down between you. Dean shrugged a shoulder, a cheeky look on his face. 

"We could christen the front seats too?" He suggested with a wink.

 

 


	19. Encouragement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everyone is celebrating your big news.

You were pissed. Of course you were. John had lied to you, made you believe Dean was having an affair just to get into your panties. He’d used you. Ok, so you were using each other to get off, but that was different. Completely different. He’d betrayed the trust you had for him, and now you were wondering if he actually did have feelings for you. Was he jealous? He was so desperate to fuck you that day, like he wanted proof that you still wanted him. Well that was ending today. Dean was back in work and you’d had the day off. The news of your engagement had gotten out once you’d gotten home last night, Dean was eager to call Sam and he figured John should know too. 

 

Needless to say, Sam was far more enthusiastic about it than his father. You’d decided to have a meal out tonight with the two of them, to celebrate.

_We need to talk._

You’d decided to text John, rather than meet up with him. You didn’t know the limits of his manipulation and you didn’t want him to get into your head again. It was safer this way. Even though you wanted to yell in his face and slap that stupid smug look off of it. 

 

_Talk or fuck?_

 

_Talk. I know you lied about Dean having an affair. He didn’t tell you about Lisa, he told you he was proposing._

 

You basically hammered your phone as you typed the reply out. You were so angry.

 

_Just because he proposed to you doesn’t mean he’s not cheating._

 

You couldn’t believe him. Even after being caught out he was still playing this game? Your blood only boiled further. 

 

_Bull fucking shit John, I know he’s not so you can stop this. Why did you lie?_

 

_This is coming from the girl sleeping with her boyfriend’s dad._

 

Low. How dare he bring that up. As if that even mattered. He had lied to you. That was the issue here. 

 

_Fuck you John. What the actual fuck is wrong with you? This is over. I’m never sleeping with you again. Oh and Dean and Sam are fine now, so just do what you do best and bail out on them._

 

You wanted him to leave and never come back. You never wanted to see his stupid face again. You knew you’d have to fake it tonight and you were already dreading it. But luckily you’d have Dean to occupy you. 

 

_You’d like that wouldn’t you? Your little problem gone? I’m not going anywhere sweetheart. You gave in to me once and you’ll do it again. You’ll get bored of Dean and I’ll be balls deep again._

 

_It’s not gonna happen. Ever again. Leave us alone, we’re happy._

 

_We’ll see about that._

 

You literally threw your phone across the room in anger. You knew you were partially angry at yourself for trusting him; for letting him into your head. You let him talk you into cheating on Dean. It was all him and his mind games. Fuck him. He wasn’t getting between you and Dean again. You wouldn’t let him. 

 

*

 

You were at the same restaurant you’d been to when you had attempted to cheer Sam up. This time there wasn’t a beer bottle in sight, it was champagne on ice. Something the waiter was thrilled about. You were sat between Dean and Sam this time, John opposite you and barely saying a word. He would sip his whiskey and scan you with his hazel eyes unless someone spoke to him. You were at least trying to act normal around him even though it was getting increasingly harder the more he stared you down.

 

Dean’s arm was around your shoulders, his thumb brushing the skin on the top of your arm back and forth. He leaned into you and kissed the shell of your ear lovingly. It was so nice having the old Dean back. He was relaxed and affectionate again like he used to be. You could tell a huge weight had been lifted. And that alone reassured you that he wasn’t cheating. You caught Sam’s gaze and smiled. He was smirking at you.

“What?” you blushed at him. 

“Nothing… I’ve just never seen Dean like this before. It’s nice.” He had a genuine smile on his face and it dawned on you that Sam would’ve never seen you both happy together. Because it was when he arrived that things started to go downhill.

“So what was it that made you decide to propose?” Sam asked Dean. 

 

Dean’s green eyes landed on you as he smirked. 

“Look at her. I wasn’t letting her get away.” You kissed him softly, a blush staining your cheeks. “No, honestly? It was you, Sam,” Dean confessed, his hand snaked from around your shoulder and landed on your thigh instead. You noted how John twisted in his seat and beckoned a waiter over to your table and ordered another whiskey. “We were talking about it before, and it dawned on me that I wanted to ask her. I mean, I knew I was going to do it eventually, but after talking to you I knew I wanted to do it soon.”

 

His hand on your thigh squeezed for a moment before his fingers danced along the hem of your dress and slipped under.

“Glad I could help,” Sam smirked and you nodded your head as you took a long swig of your champagne, Dean’s fingers now skimming your silk covered sex. Your hands pushed under the table to grip his wrist, although you didn’t want to stop him. 

“Who wants dessert? I could go for something more to eat. Something juicy and sweet,” Dean spoke up, “maybe pie.” You squeezed your thighs together as your pussy clenched around nothing which didn’t go unnoticed to Dean who smirked whilst he read the menu.

 

Letting go of Dean’s wrist you reached for a menu and stared at the words intently, not reading what they actually said. Sam was sure to notice, John probably already knew. You shuffled your chair further under the table to be sure and felt the pressure of Dean’s fingers harden. It was all getting too much. Dean’s fingers had slipped between the fabric and were pressed on your dripping hot skin. It was the moment that he slipped a finger inside you that you shoved his hand off quickly and stood up, pulling your dress down as far as it would go.

“I’m gonna pee,” you announced a little too loudly, completely flustered. Dean’s tongue came out and danced along his lips as he smirked up at you.

“OK, baby. Hurry back, I’m starved for pie.” He was a dick and you had to leave the table pretty quickly before they heard you audibly moan.

 

The toilets were down a winding corridor and your heels clicked and bounced off the walls as it echoed down it. After turning the first corner you felt hands on your waist and for a second thought Dean had followed you. But as you were pushed up against the wall, face pressed to the textured wallpaper, you realised it was John.

“What the fuck are you doing?” you spat. John’s mouth was at your ear as he bit and tugged on the lobe. “I was serious, John. I’m not doing this anymore,” you grunted as you tried to pry his hands off of you. 

“We made a deal sweetheart, we’d get each other off. Just because there’s a fancy rock on your finger now doesn’t change that.” His one hand travelled up your skirt as his fingers rubbed over the wet patch Dean had made in your panties. “And look at that, still wet as fuck for Daddy,” he mused. 

“That was Dean’s doing actually, he’s had wandering hands under the table. Why do you think I needed to leave so quickly?”

 

You never would have rubbed your relationship with Dean in John’s face but he had been relentless and so maybe this would finally make him accept that it was over. John seemed to snarl at your comment, his fingers pressing against your clit painfully hard.

“I just need some pussy,” he rasped. 

“Then get it elsewhere,” you snapped, “I’m done giving you mine.”

“But I want yours…” His fingers were still rubbing your clit as he kept tightening the coil Dean had started winding. You didn’t want to react the way you were but you couldn’t help your body’s natural reaction.

“John, stop,” you said firmly. John obliged and eased off you so you could turn around and face him. He was still uncomfortably close. “It is over.” You emphasised every word. A small smirk played on John’s lips as his hazel eyes scanned you. 

“I bet Dean would love to know what his precious sweetheart has been up to whilst he’s been slaving away to buy you that ring. How Daddy Winchester has been sending his perfect girl home to him dripping with my cum.”

“Fuck you, John. That’s on you not me. You knew why he was really busy but you lied and told me he was cheating.” You felt tears threatening your eyes. Why was John being like this now?

“Darling, you’d already crossed that line with me. And that was on you. Turning up at my door in skimpy underwear, you were just a whore begging to be fucked." 

 

The truth hurt and you knew that, as tears escaped you. You wiped them quickly and glared at him. Then it dawned on you. He was jealous. 

"Oh my god, you caught feelings.” Of course he did. Despite the constant reminder not to. His face dropped, moving closer to yours. 

“If you don’t come over like you normally would tomorrow then I’m gonna tell Dean what’s really going on.” His voice was barely above a whisper. 

“You wouldn’t. He already hates you, this would make you lose both your sons forever.”

“Like you said, sweetheart, he already hates me. And I’m pretty sure I’ve done shittier things to him than fuck his girlfriend. But I’m his dad, apart from Sam I’m the only family he’s got. He’ll forgive me eventually. But you? He’s a good looking guy, he could find another pretty set of legs with a hole between them tomorrow.” You hated to think he was right. Dean loved you, wanted to marry you but only because he didn’t know the truth. You were replaceable. John wasn’t. 

“You know it’s gonna be rape right? You’re blackmailing me into sex, that's  _rape_. I could tell the cops and have you arrested,” you threatened. 

“Yeah? And how you explaining that one to Dean?” he laughed. “It won’t be rape anyway, sweetheart. I always get you wanting me eventually. Even if it takes some encouragement.” You watched him slink off back to the restaurant and took a shaky breath, needing to go to the bathroom and check your make up before you returned.

 

When you returned to the table, Dean’s hand instantly returned to your lap, but you held it quickly and hoped he wouldn’t try and continue his earlier pursuit.

“You took your time,” Dean commented leaning into you, his mouth pressed to your ear, “hope you didn’t have all the fun without me.” You felt sick to your stomach and you just wanted to get away from John. His hazel eyes were still practically glued to you.

“Baby? I’m exhausted, do you think we could skip dessert and leave?” You noted the small smirk that danced along Dean’s lips but you weren’t in the mood to correct him just yet. Anything to get him to agree to leaving.

“Sure baby, we’ll just get the bill,” he agreed.

“Don’t worry, son, I’ve got this. A little congrats from me, ” John spoke up.

“Thanks, sir. Means a lot.” Dean smiled. 

“Yeah, thanks John.” You could only muster a small fake smile in his direction but hoped it was enough.

 

Dean was on you like a rash once you’d got home. Lips attacking the back of your neck, hands exploring your waist, but you carefully peeled him away. 

“I really am tired. I’m sorry, baby,” you lied. You just wanted to curl up in bed and forget John existed.

“But I thought that was code for sex,” Dean whined, “don’t tell me you finished yourself off in the bathroom.” You turned around to face him and cupped his gorgeous, disappointed face in your hands. 

“No… It’s just this is all very overwhelming. We’re getting married and I just… I’m tired OK?” You let go of him and climbed out of your heels as you removed your earrings.

“Wow, no wonder you’ve been so pissy with me, rejection sucks. I’m all horny and I got nowhere to stick it.” You giggled softly at him all bent out of shape as you climbed out of your dress. “And well  _you_ , my stunning fiancée, look irresistible.”

“Dean,” you warned as you took your bra off, stepping out of your panties and grabbing an over sized shirt to dress into for bed. 

“Alright guess I’ll go watch porn in the bathroom. Been a while since I did that.” He shrugged a shoulder and you kissed him softly. 

“Enjoy,” you giggled. Dean smirked and kissed you again. 

“Sure I can’t persuade you? I have excellent encouragement techniques."  _Encouragement_. The word made your stomach turn but you tried to keep your game face on.

"Nope. Sorry. Goodnight Dean." 

"Goodnight, sweetheart. I love you." 


	20. Poughkeepsie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things reach breaking point with John, and some truths are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading this series and for your kudos and comments! Please enjoy my new venture, His Property, first chapter coming tomorrow!! And follow me on tumblr! @negans-lucille-tblr

Your hand was shaking as you reached out and knocked on the door. John had messaged you several times that morning some dirty talking and a photo of him similar to the one that started this whole mess. But you'd just deleted them and pretended they didn't exist. It was ruined now, he had tainted it. You'd never want him the way you did before. If him lying about the affair wasn't bad enough, his little power trip yesterday was sending alarm bells ringing. It was the only reason you were there, and maybe that was incredibly stupid of you, but you couldn't get what John said out of your mind. How you were irreplaceable and he wasn't. He didn't have an awful lot to lose by telling Dean. But you had everything.

 

Every part of your life had been taken over by the Winchesters. Your work, your home. You didn't have any friends, Sam was the closest thing to that. And whilst you used to be fine on your own, and you knew you could do it, you didn't want to. You wanted to be with Dean for forever. He was it for you. But this was your bed and you needed to lie in it. You were in this mess because you let your body do the thinking.

 

John opened the door with a wicked smile on his face as he stepped to the side and let you in. You were only wearing your work uniform that you'd not even dolled up like you usually would and you were wearing any old underwear. He could blackmail you to sleep with all he wanted, but he couldn't force you to make an effort for him. You planned on making minimal physical effort, too. Hopefully, John would get bored of vanilla sex with you and find someone else to fuck. If you were really lucky, and he had enough of seeing you and Dean together, he'd finally skip town and never come back. 

"That same uniform, every damn time, doll." He shook his head as he sucked his teeth and you rolled your eyes at him.

"Yeah well I have work after... _this_." You didn't want to say what  _this_  actually was. 

"Mmm, it never used to be much to look at but now it just makes me think of every time you come here for your fill before your shift, so every time I see that white shirt I get a little tingly." His hazel eyes sparkled for a second and you drew a deep breath. You wished you'd worn something different now. 

"Just for the record, I don't want to be here, and I don't want to do anything with you. I'm only doing it because you're threatening me," you explained as you started to slowly strip your clothes. John pouted and made his way to you, his large hand coming up and tucking some hair behind your ear as his lips drew into a smirk.

"I've got my ways to change that, doll. You should know that by now." He ducked his face to kiss your neck. 

"Are you really that desperate? That you'd rather fuck me when I'm less than willing? Can't go out and find someone else?" you taunted. You wanted to push some buttons, but his actions remained unfaltering, his mouth moving slowly to your ear, his breath hot on the shell.

"You know how much I love that pussy." He bit down on your neck for a moment.

 

"You shouldn't have let it get personal, John. I told you not to get feelings." You muttered. 

"Oh, darling, we both knew there's always been something there. That first weekend together was like heaven, you can't deny it. You were meant to find Dean so you'd come back to me." It was like he actually believed what he was saying.

"You're crazy, I don't love you. I told you this was sexual, nothing else. I love Dean." You didn't want to be cruel, but it was like he wasn't even listening to you. He withdrew from you but instead of looking upset or angry at you, he just smiled. 

"I've got you something," he told you. You could feel the frustration building to snapping point. 

"John..." you warned, but before you could say anything else, he'd opened the drawer beside you in the dressing table and pulled out a small, flat box. 

"Better not wear this one around the boys though, they might get suspicious." John opened the box to reveal a bracelet. It was a plain band with a butterfly clasp. Something sat wrong with you, it was ringing some loud bells in your mind as you sorted through memory after memory until you found it. You and Sam sat on the park bench that day.

 

 _"For our first anniversary, I got her this bracelet. It was a plain band, but it had a butterfly on the clasp, which was a bit of an inside joke to us because when we first met I...I screamed when a butterfly landed on me, and she thought it was cute..." Sam's cheeks grew bright crimson as he started to giggle and you laughed at the thought of the six foot something man screaming like a girl at a butterfly. "Yeah, yeah, ok, very funny. Well anyway, I got it engraved with the day we met, New years day, felt like a new beginning."_   

 

You tried your best to remain composed as you took the bracelet out of the box and looked on the inside to see if there was an engraving. And there was. New year's day, just like Sam had said. Why would he have this?  _How_ would he have this? Was he sleeping with her too? Maybe he had some weird thing for his sons' girlfriends. You tried to keep a poker face.

"Thank you, John, it's lovely," you lied, voice shaking as you tried not to raise any suspicion. You needed to get out of there. It couldn't have been a coincidence that he had two pieces of jewellery from two women in the family that had been killed. What if he did it?

 

"You like it?" he asked, a smile on his face.

"Yes, it's...it's lovely," you stammered, your mind in a panic, desperately searching for a reason to leave. "Look, John, I'm really sorry, but...my shift actually starts early today, I just remembered," you cleared your throat and started to re-button your shirt as you headed for the door. But John was in front of you, blocking the way. You jumped, your breath shaky as you looked at him.

"Aren't you forgetting something, sweetheart?" he asked, "a little deal we made?" You gulped hard.

"I'll come back after my shift," you lied. You weren't going to work now, you were going home, finding Dean and convincing him Paris is a great city to live in. Hell, Sam could even join you. John's eyes darkened as he walked you backwards, your back hitting the wall with a thud as you jumped in surprise. 

"I don't believe you..." John reached up and brushed your hair back over your shoulder as you whimpered. You didn't want him to touch you. You weren't sure exactly what he was capable of, but you knew it was very sensible of you to fear for your life. "Where the fuck is Mary's necklace? Why aren't you wearing it? I told you to never take it off, you better not have lost it you little bitch," he snarled, his face screwing in anger. Your eyes widened. He'd called it Mary's necklace. It really was hers. You really did have two dead women's things. 

"A...At home," you managed to spit out so you didn't anger him. 

 

The corner of John's mouth picked up into a sinister smirk. 

"You've already figured it out, haven't you, doll?" he asked, "that's why you're running out on me."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Your voice gave away your blatant lie. John took a deep breath and laughed to himself for a moment.

"Well, fuck. Thought I had you for good. I was gonna get you to leave Dean next." He stepped back and wiped his mouth with his hand. "You know, that's  _months_  of planning, down the fucking shitter because my fucking son had to go and ask you to fucking marry him." 

"What do you mean, planning? Months?" you asked, confused. 

 

"Well, doll, from the moment I saw you, I knew you were gonna be real fucking special. Those ten months between our weekend and seeing you again on Dean's doorstep were agony. So much planning, watching you not being able to touch you, have you. Imagine my disappointment when I watched you let my son take you home. See I thought I was special, thought you didn't normally do that kind of thing. Didn't know you were a fucking slut." His anger bubbled but he composed himself again. "So that was a minor kink in the chain." He was leaning against the door so casually, as if he was telling you about how he went grocery shopping last week. 

 

"But I managed to make it work to my advantage. Ok, so now I had to convince you to have an affair, and that was a tough fucking nut of yours to crack because I wasn't banking on you actually falling in love with him, but it did mean you were close by already. I just needed to give Dean a distraction. And I might not know my boys all that well, but I do know that they're loyal as fuck to each other. So I needed to get Sam back with Dean. But then he had to have his own fucking whore keeping him in Stanford." He sighed heavily. You were speechless, your brain hardly processing what he was saying. He'd planned all this? He'd been stalking you, figuring out how to get you right where he wanted you. With him. 

 

"So anyway, it dawned on me, get rid of the bitch, Sam runs to Dean like he always does. Then Dean's busy, too busy for you. I knew once I isolated you, you'd want attention, you'd need someone telling you you were pretty. You're all the fucking same, you sluts, so desperate for attention, so desperate for love, you'll take it from anyone. Now Sam giving Dean the idea to propose wasn't part of the plan, let me tell you. It worked to my advantage for a while. He was so busy, I just needed to plant a few seeds here and there about him cheating. The photo of him and her, the odd comment about Lisa. You filled the rest of it in with your own insecurities." 

 

You quickly wiped your cheeks. You had no idea what to think or how to feel. Jessica had died because of you. Because John had some weird obsession with you. How did he know you'd eventually give in to him? Was he just that good at manipulating you?  Were you really that desperate for love and attention that you'd so easily run to him like he wanted?

"Why? Why me?" You whispered. That had prompted him to close the gap between you again, his face so close to yours you could feel his breath. You wished you hadn't said anything. 

"Because you're perfect." His hand came up to brush your cheek and you flinched. "Don't be scared doll, do as you're told and I won't hurt you." 

"Is that what happened with Mary? She didn't do as she was told?" You didn't know what was wrong with you, your brain was screaming at you to not anger him, now knowing what he was capable of. John drew back a little and laughed.

"That bitch was cheating on me, I just knew it," he snarled. "See, Y/N, I don't like sharing. I was a lot less careful back then, I thought I could make it look like an accident but we had to go on the run when they started talking about it being a murder." This would break Dean's heart. His father had killed his mother. John was the reason he didn't have a home, a family. 

 

"Are you...are you going to kill me?" Your breath and voice were unbelievably shaky. You didn't even want the answer.

"I've already told you, doll, I won't hurt you if you do as you're told." He smiled like it was that easy, like he was doing you a favour. His hands reach forward as he starts to slowly undo the buttons of your shirt. You froze, not wanting to fight against him. You blinked the tears back and took a deep breath. 

"What do you want me to do?" You finally asked, hoping if he thought you were cooperating then he'd be gentle with you. 

"Why don't you call that fiance of yours and tell him that you're not coming home?" he suggested. Just the thought made you want to throw up. You couldn't do that to Dean, it would break his heart.

"Please, no, John I promise we can still see each other like we have been," you tried. But John shook his head in disapproval.

"I don't want to share you anymore, baby girl." John's lips kissed along your neck, down to your collarbone and along to your shoulder as he pushed your shirt off of it. 

"What..." you stopped to swallow down a sob, "what do I tell him?" 

"Whatever it takes for him to let you go, just leave me out of it, and make sure he knows it's over, for good." John had clearly thought about this already. His hands squeezed at your breasts through your bra as he nibbled your earlobe. 

 

You desperately tried to think of a way out of this. How could you tell Dean what was happening without John knowing? You remembered Dean and Sam talking about an old keyword they used if either of them were in trouble, but you couldn't remember it. It was a place, somewhere in New York. John walked over to the bed and beckoned you to him with a flick of his fingers. You didn't want to, your body didn't want to, but you approached him. Your shirt was dangling at your elbows. Your legs felt like jelly but you managed to get there. He sat you onto the bed and pushed you back so you were laying down, climbing over you as he kissed at your breasts. His hand ran down your stomach, pushing into your pocket as he retrieved your phone. He started to look through it as ringing sounded.

 

"You better make it believable, doll. No funny business." You swallowed the tears down and grabbed your phone from him with shaking hands, Dean's name on the screen as it dialed him. Your fingers were clammy as they held the phone to your ear.

"Hey baby," Dean chirped. You hated how happy he sounded. You sniffled, unable to contain your tears. "What's wrong? Y/N? You okay?" he asked immediately. You squeezed your eyes shut tight and tried to ignore John's hands undoing your trousers and pulling them down your legs.

 

"Dean...I....I'm so sorry." As soon as you started speaking you were crying, uncontrollable sobs leaving you. "This is all too much. I can't do it." John's mouth was kissing above the elastic of your panties. You clasped a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from crying too loudly. 

"What? Can't do what?" Dean's voice was riddled with concern.

"I can't marry you. I need to get away, I'm gonna move to New York," you stammered, trying your hardest for that name to come back to you. "Poughkeepsie maybe." You let out a breath, praying to god that was the right one. 

"Ok, I understand...sweetheart, where are you now? Why don't we meet up and just talk about this properly before you leave?" His tone had changed from confusion to urgency, and you knew he'd gotten the message. You felt some relief at least that he wasn't getting his heart torn into a million pieces. 

"We can't, Dean, I'm sorry. I just have to go. I can't see you. I'm in work now handing my notice in," you gulped, looking down at John who was busy pulling your panties down to your ankles, "you'll tell Sammy I said goodbye won't you? He's on shift now but I can't see him like this," you continued, feeling more confident with your hidden messages. 

"Baby, I'm on my way, who are you with?" His voice was soft and barely above a whisper and you hoped John couldn't hear him.

"Your Dad....say goodbye to him too." You heart stopped in your chest as you prayed you'd gotten away with it. John's hand pushed its way between your legs, his fingers dragging through your slit to your entrance. You could feel you weren't aroused and just hoped that didn't anger him. 

"Ok," Dean replied softly, but there was still worry riddled through his deep voice. "Baby, please just don't leave until we talk about this. Please. Just hold on ok? Whatever's going on, I'm gonna help you. We'll sort it out. I love you." 

"I love you too, Dean. But I gotta go." You sobbed as you hung up the phone and John took it from you before you got any other ideas. 

 

"Good, that was convincing," he praised as he pulled your legs apart. You pushed against him. You wanted to fight back. Dean was on his way, and if you could occupy John just a little longer then you could get out of this before he took it too far. 

"John, please, can we do this later? I really need a moment." You sniffled hard and tried to wipe your endless flow of tears as they made your hair stick to your cheeks. 

"No can do, darl', I need some help." He smirked as he undid his trousers, and you saw him pull his erection free. It took everything in you not to throw up. You glanced around to see the light that sat on the nightstand. It had a metal base, if you hit him hard enough, it would knock him out long enough for you to escape. But you needed a distraction. 

 

"Ok, I guess I did promise." You tried to compose yourself and moved further up the bed, as if trying to be inviting to him. John seemed to buy it.

"See, doll, that's what I'm talking about. All I want from you is your cooperation. You give me that and I'll give you all those wonderful things I've always given you." A shit eating grin spread over his mouth as he climbed up the bed over you. You forced your best fake smile.

"You promise? You'll make me cum?" You wanted to die at your own words, but your survival instinct had kicked in now, and that was stronger than your pride. 

"Always, baby." John's lips crashed down onto yours and you fought every natural instinct to kick him in the balls, because that wouldn't be enough. As you deepened the kiss, you reached slowly for the lamp. This bit had to be quick.

 

\- - -

 

Dean's heart was thumping in his chest as he hung up the phone. He didn't know how or why you were in trouble with his Dad, but that didn't even matter. What mattered was getting to you; saving you. He'd slammed the front door behind him, running as fast as he could down the stairs and out of the apartment block. He only considered taking baby for a split second, he knew with city traffic, running was the quickest option. 

 

He tried his best to dodge as many people as he could, clipping some of them as he passed, barely shouting out an apology before he was gone. His mouth was dry; his only goal was getting to you before something bad happened. If anything happened to you, he'd never forgive himself. He'd be lost. He thought over your conversation, the same words echoing around in his head. He tried not to focus on the irrelevant ones, when you'd told him you couldn't marry him, didn't want to see him. He knew for whatever reason, you'd needed to say them. 

 

_"You'll tell Sammy I said goodbye won't you? He's on shift..."_

 

Dean pulled out his phone and dialed Sam as quickly as possible. He rejected the call twice, but Dean didn't give up.

"Dude I'm on shift," Sam hissed.

"Sam, it's Y/N, she's in trouble. What room is Dad in?" Dean's lungs were on fire, but he pushed through, the adrenaline keeping him going. 

"Dad? Why? I don't know, Dean, what's going on? What trouble?" Sam was rushing through his questions.

"I don't know, Sam!" Dean yelled, running into some business man, "son of a bitch! I'm sorry!" He huffed, setting back on his way, "Sam? Find out what room Dad's in, now! I'll be there in like 30 seconds." 

 

When Dean got to the front desk of the hotel, Sam was having a heated discussion with the receptionist. 

"Alright, I got it," Sam nodded as they both rushed to the lift and Dean punched the button over and over until the doors opened.

"What's going on, De?" Sam asked as they stepped inside.

"I don't know. She told me she couldn't marry me and then she said she was moving to Poughkeepsie." 

"Oh, shit," Sam mumbled.

"She said she was handing her notice in here, and when I asked her who she was with she said Dad."

"Why is she with him?" Sam asked, the doors pinged open and Dean stepped off quickly, running down the corridor.

"It doesn't matter," Dean grunted, Sam scanning numbers until he found the right one. He nodded to it and so Dean thumped on the door, rattling it in its frame as Sam stood behind him. He backed up and kicked the door at full force, green eyes landing on you instantly. You were stood in only your bra, blood splattered all over your chest, some splattering your chin as you stood there, wide eyed and shaking. 

 

\- - - 

 

Your legs gave way and you collapsed into his arms just in time. He held you tightly and you engulfed his scent as much as possible in case you wouldn't get to for much longer.

"Are you OK, sweetheart? What happened?" Dean's voice was a different pitch with panic as you sobbed in his arms. 

"He was....I didn't...He made me...I panicked, I think I killed him, Dean." You were hyperventilating, unable to focus on one thing, "oh god, his eyes...I killed him, he's dead."

 

 


	21. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been four years since that day in John's hotel room and so much has changed, except one thing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this has only just made its way to AO3, I honestly didn't realise it wasn't on here already. But nevertheless, here it is and I hope you enjoy!!! Bee x

_4 Years Later_

 

“Daddy!” Dean dropped to his knees, arms wide as he scooped up his daughter in his arms and held her tight, nose burrowing into her dark hair as he took in her scent and smiled softly.

“Hey pumpkin, how ya been?” he asked. Her tiny arms unwrapped from around his neck as she smiled sweetly at him, her green eyes sparkled at him. She held a piece of paper in front of his face, badly scribbled crayon men on the front.

“I made a picture,” she beamed.

“Wow, so you did!” He took it from her and looked it over. There were three tall people and one short.

“Daddy, Uncle Sammy, me and Mommy!” she explained as she pointed to each one. “And we all live there,” she pointed to a small square on the page.

“Wow, that looks like a great place to live!” Dean forced a smile to his lips as he kissed her forehead. “I heard a rumour that Uncle Sammy was making pancakes for breakfast, why don’t you go get some, sweetheart,” he smiled softly. She took her picture and ran down the hall towards the kitchen.

Dean sighed as he raised to his feet and looked at you for the first time. It would be a lie if Dean said he didn’t still feel heaviness in his heart when he looked at you. Like it just wasn’t right. But he couldn’t look past everything that happened four years ago. He’s not sure he ever would.

“I’ll pick her up tonight at 6,” you told him.

“What? I thought I had her until tomorrow, me and Sam made plans,” Dean frowned.

“We’ve been over this, Dean,” you grunted frustrated, crossing your arms over your chest. Dean instantly felt himself go on the defensive as he broadened his shoulders.

“Yes! And we agreed I’d have her the whole weekend! Me and Sam were taking her out tonight, you can’t just change your mind and not tell anyone!” he snapped.

“Deanna’s my daughter I can do whatever I want!” You retorted, voices raising.

“She’s mine too!” Dean yelled. He heard footsteps behind him and turned around to see Sam walking towards them, Deanna in his arms as she hugged around his neck.

“Pancakes are ready, Dean,” Sam’s eyes widened as if to warn him to wind it in. De’s head rested on Sam’s shoulder as she stared innocently at you both. Dean drew a deep breath and turned back to you.

“Tomorrow morning, at least just let me have her overnight,” he tried to compromise. You seemed to hesitate before nodding softly.

“Ok, sure, tomorrow morning. 10am,” you sighed.

*

“Daddy, why do you and Mommy shout at each other?” Deanna tilted her head as she leaned on her hand, poking her pancakes with her fork. Dean looked to Sam with wide eyes as he shrugged a shoulder, an  _I told you so_ look on his face.

“Sometimes, Mommy and Daddy don’t agree on some things.” Dean tried to explain.

“My friends daddies live in their houses, why do you not live in mine?” she asked now. Truthfully, Dean had never had to have this conversation with her, because she’d never really understood what was going on before. But she was growing far too quickly, and she was bright for her age.

“Well, Daddy has to live with Uncle Sammy, this is a big house and he can’t live here alone can he?” Dean smiled softly.

“He can live with us too,” she suggested.

“Hey, squirt, how are those pancakes?” Sam spoke up as Dean let out a breath.

“I’m not hungry, can I play outside?” she asked. Dean nodded, but she wasn’t waiting for an answer anyway as she swung the backdoor open and ran outside.

“She’s starting to notice,” Sam pointed out the obvious and Dean grunted. “Look, I know I go on about it, but you really need to sort out your issues. You can’t have De growing up in this environment, you and Y/N should be getting along for her sake.”

“What am I supposed to do, Sam? Pretend her mother isn’t a fucking whore?” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Y/N isn’t a whore, Dean,” he sighed.

“She was sleeping with our Dad!” Dean slammed his mug down on the table.

“It was more complicated than that and you know it,” Sam offered. Dean rubbed his face with his hands. “Have you thought about therapy?” Sam seemed hesitant to suggest it and Dean sighed heavily. He didn’t want to pay someone a ridiculous amount per hour to tell him to get over it. “Not just the affair, for everything that came out about Dad…”

“Yeah well we always knew he was a shit father,” Dean grunted.

“Dean, you worshipped him,” Sam scoffed. “Look, I think it would really help. At least give it a try for me, or if not for me, for Deanna.” Dean huffed and swigged some more coffee. He hated when Sam was right.

*

There were a lot of important looking books on the shelves behind the middle aged man. Certificates hanging on the wall above a desk, but they weren’t sat at that. They were sat in the middle of the room, the therapist in a large blue armchair, Dean on a matching blue couch. Sam had found a therapist that was highly rated for the area. Henry Kripley.

“Why don’t you just start by telling me why you’re here?” Henry began. Dean had no idea what to expect, and he was a little on guard. He didn’t talk about feelings. He hated it. But he was paying this guy good money, so he figured he needed to at least try.

“Four years ago I was engaged to this girl, Y/N, and I found out that she was sleeping with my father,” Dean told him, bitterly.

“I’m sorry to hear that. How did you discover this affair?” he asked. Dean scoffed. What a story that was going to be to tell. He cleared his throat.

“She told me, a few months after…” Dean stopped. This was about to get confusing as hell. “This is a long story, can we not just talk about how I can get over her?” Dean grunted.

“I’m afraid I’m gonna need to know the full story if you want me to truly help you,” Henry raised his eyebrows.

“Look, I just want to be able to arrange things with her about our daughter without wanting to…break down,” Dean confessed.

“Your daughter? How old is she?”

“Just gone three, her name’s Deanna.”

“So you found out about the affair after Y/N fell pregnant with your daughter?” he checked.

“She’s definitely mine if that’s what you’re trying to say,” Dean glared.

“No, I’m just trying to understand that’s all.” Henry was writing it all down. Dean huffed.

“Y/N got pregnant after the affair finished, so unless she was whoring around with someone else, then De is definitely mine.” Dean scowled, but he knew deep down Deanna was definitely his. She looked far too like him to be anyone else’s.  

“How’s your relationship with your father?” Henry asked.

“He’s dead so there isn’t one,” Dean shrugged, “and that’s how I know that the affair ended.” Henry sat up a little straighter, “Y/N killed him…” Dean sighed, “it was self defence, so it’s not like murder or anything,” he added quickly.

“Right, let’s go back to the start, shall we?” Henry’s eyes were wide. Dean didn’t want to talk about all of that. But it seemed they were going to.

It took him several minutes to explain the full story so Henry was up to date. His white eyebrows were raised most of the time, his pen going crazy on his notepad. Dean knew this was a bad idea. He didn’t need to do this. This wasn’t helping.

“So anyway, her story wasn’t adding up, how she found out about the murders and why she was with him, and at first I just believed whatever she told me because I loved her and trusted her, but after a couple of months it just still wasn’t sitting right with me, and then she told me about the affair.” Dean sighed, “we’d not long found out about De and I thought life was finally getting good again. I just…don’t get it.” Dean held his face in his hands for a moment, rubbing his cheeks to bring some life back to them.

“How did she explain herself?” Henry asked.

“She said that they had history before me, and when she found out he was my dad she didn’t know how to tell me, she didn’t want to lose me. But then, I was being an asshole and I drove her to it. My words not hers, she didn’t actually say that, but I knew that’s what it was.”

“How were you being an  _asshole_?” Dean leaned back on the couch and looked up at the pristine white ceiling.

“When Sam first lost Jessica and he came back, I was just desperate to make him happy, he was my priority and I just pushed Y/N to one side. My brother is the most important person in my life and he always will be,” Dean explained, “and I don’t know why but I was pushing Y/N away a lot.” Henry nodded as he listened.

“Do you think maybe Sam losing Jessica made you realise you had someone to lose too? Maybe you were pushing her away subconsciously because you didn’t want to hurt if you lost her,” he suggested.

“Well it didn’t fucking work,” Dean grunted. But when he thought about it, he figured maybe that was true. Ok, so this guy was good at his job.

“Anyway, after a while, when I was chatting to Sam about it, he was talking about how short life is, you know, he wanted to marry Jessica and have a family with her but he couldn’t. And it made me decide to propose to Y/N. So I started working extra hours to save up money. But then, if I wasn’t working I was exhausted, I just didn’t have energy for anything but sleep. And I felt so bloody guilty that I was lying to her. She didn’t know I was working overtime, I told her I was with Sam so she didn’t suspect anything. And I just couldn’t be around her…we didn’t even…you know,” Dean tilted his head in suggestion as Henry nodded to note he’d understood.  “She said she thought I was having an affair and apparently my father was lying to her telling her I was cheating with an ex. I don’t know if I believe that,” Dean sighed. There was silence for a moment.

“Would that be unbelievable? That your father would manipulate Y/N? Let’s look at this rationally. Your father was a murderer, his apparent reason for killing Jessica was to get to Y/N, he clearly had an obsession with her that stemmed from their time together before you met, if she thinks it’s possible, he only has to feed her a couple of lies and she’s convinced. Psychopaths are amazing manipulators. I think maybe you need to start looking at Y/N as a victim too. Ok, so she didn’t tell you about her history with your father, but that happened before she’d met you, so you can’t hold that against her.” He explained.

Dean glared, he didn’t want to think of you as a victim. He was the victim. The guy that had had his mother taken from him by the hands of his father. The guy that had lost the love of his life because of an affair she had with his father. Dean could hear the pattern in his thoughts.  _His father, his father, his father._ He was the bad guy here. Henry was right, maybe you were a victim too. Another one of his father’s victims. Dean drew a deep breath. There was one last thing on his mind.

“I can’t shake this feeling that Y/N got pregnant on purpose, to try and keep me around. Like what if she was feeling so guilty about the affair, and she knew if I found out I’d leave. But not if there was a baby involved.”

“I’m afraid I can’t solve that one, you’d have to ask her.” Dean nodded, understanding. He was right. “Did she tell you she was on birth control?”

“Yeah, well she reckons it just failed or something,” Dean mumbled.

“Well, all I can say is it does happen,” Henry offered. Dean sighed, this was a conversation to have with you, not his therapist.

*

Kissing Deanna’s head, Dean smiled down at her.

“Another picture? I think we’re gonna have an artist on our hands,” he chuckled. This one was very similar to the last one but there was another person. “Who’s this, pumpkin?” he asked, pointing to the tall stick figure next to who he assumed was you.

“That’s Brad,” she smiled. Dean frowned for a moment until the reality hit him like a fist in his gut. He wasn’t exactly sure why he felt so jealous. It had been four years and you were allowed to be with whoever you wanted. But maybe it was because he’d recently started looking and thinking about you differently. Ok, so you’d made mistakes, and yes you’d broken his trust, but given the circumstances, and thanks to Henry, he could understand why. Before he could say anything, De was running out of his arms and towards Sam.

“Hey squirt!” Sam laughed, coming down the hallway.

“Uncle Sammy!” she squealed, jumping up into his arms.

“I’ve got the BEST colouring book EVER in the kitchen,” Sam boasted, turning her around and leaving you both alone. Dean knew he’d done that on purpose. Dean had expressed an interest in patching things up with you to him. And Sam was Mr Fix it, so he had to interfere, obviously.

“Hey, look, Brad…” Before you could explain yourself, which you didn’t need to do, Dean cut you off.

“It’s fine, Y/N, it’s been a long time, you’re allowed to be happy,” Dean sighed, climbing back to his feet.

“You think so?” You tilted your head to the side as your eyes softened.

“Yeah, truly. I’ve been doing therapy and he helped me realise that you were a victim in all this too, and I never saw it that way, so I’m so sorry.” Dean blushed.

“Therapy? Wow, Dean, I’m impressed,” you nodded, “that honestly means so much to me, thank you,” you spluttered out. Dean noticed your eyes well up as you sniffled. “I truly am sorry, Dean,” you choked out.

“Y/N, I just need to ask something. Please don’t get offended.” Dean cleared his throat, “did you get pregnant or purpose?” Your eyes instantly landed on his. He felt terrible for even asking, but he just needed to know one way or the other.

“No, Dean, do you think I wanted to bring a child into this? I knew I had this big secret, I knew what was going to happen to the baby when it all came out. I didn’t want any of this for Deanna, I would never…” Dean cut you off, placing a hand on your shoulder as you worked yourself up.

“Ok, I’m sorry. I just wanted to be sure.” There was silence for a moment, “so Brad, huh? He nice?” You rolled your eyes and laughed a little.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you. Brad was a bit of a…one night stand and De saw him leave and she’s just come up with this crazy idea that he was going to live with us, I don’t know…I’m a terrible Mom, I should’ve never had him there with her home…” you flustered. Dean laughed, he didn’t want to admit the relief he felt to hear you say that.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” he chuckled. Quiet lingered between you for a moment as Dean gulped. “I miss you, Y/N,” he admitted. He watched you blush and tuck some hair behind your ear.

“You too,” you whispered. Dean gave a sad smile. “Right, I’ll pick her up tomorrow at 5?” you sighed.

“Sure, that would be great,” Dean nodded. You turned to walk down the drive and stopped half way.

“Dean?” you called. Dean stepped out and watched you walk back up to him. You drew your bottom lip into your mouth and he watched, missing those lips so damn much. “I’m not that happy, Deanna is incredible and I love her so much, but it feels wrong without you,” you confessed. “Just wanted you to know,” you added when Dean didn’t respond.

Before you could turn to walk away again, Dean caught your shoulder and pulled you in, kissing you softly. He expected it to feel weird or wrong, but it just felt natural; like home. He’d missed you so much. But you had more than each other to think about now. You had to be careful, if this didn’t work again, it was going to much messier than before. Dean tilted his forehead to rest on yours as he broke the kiss.

“We should maybe just…take this really slow,” he suggested. You sighed and smiled at him.

“Slow sounds so good.”

## THE END


End file.
